Unexpectedly
by edieswan
Summary: He's 32, married and completely broken. She's 17 and a closet recluse. When Bella Swan finally breaks out of her isolation by getting a weekend job in a bakery and serves the broken man, they unexpectedly form a taboo yet beautiful relationship. ExB M
1. The First Day

She was breathing heavily, her mind ill at ease. Her chest was pumping furiously at the thought of what was about to commence. Would she do it? _Could_ she do it? There was only one way that she would find out.

She stepped through the door, smiled awkwardly and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Bella Swan. I'm supposed to be starting work today?"

"Bella," a young woman exclaimed. "Welcome to Crumbs. We're so glad to have you working with us. I'm Tanya by the way, your boss."

Bella's hand suddenly became sticky and she had to swallow a few times before responding. "Nice to meet you," she quietly replied.

Bella Swan had never been confident. She had never had anyone she could call a close friend, not even at school. She decided to use her time productively by reading and studying rather than going out with her friends and meeting guys. It wasn't that she was socially inept for a seventeen-year old girl or that she was ugly, because she wasn't. The guys at school gave her attention and sure, she got a few whistles on the street. But Bella kept to herself and tended to ignore the whistles.

Although she thought that she occupied herself with her studies and her enthusiastic hobby of reading, Bella eventually found it unhealthy to stay inside all of the time. Her father often made comments at her, such as 'recluse' and 'loner' – but Bella knew that he was just concerned as to why she had no friends and never went out. He was the local police chief, so he knew what most people his daughter's age were up to.

So, after a sort of intervention, Bella's father suggested finding a part-time job to fill her weekends up with. This seemed a good idea to her at first, but as she was standing there being introduced to everyone; being shown how to make coffees and which cake was which, she found that it was far from what she was accustomed to. She liked being on her own; it was a part of her character. In fact, it sort of made her nervous being around all these people – almost as bad as school.

How Bella got through the school day, she did not know. All that was familiar to her was her books and her studies. During her free periods she would go to the library to read, and no one would disturb her – no one cared enough. She wasn't significant on the social scale – but _she_ didn't care. At lunch times, she would buy her lunch eat it on her own, and then make her way to the library or a spare classroom so that she could read in peace.

Bella was a straight A student because of this. There was nothing about her that screamed 'clever' but she was hard working and she was wise. She knew that she was past being a 'bookworm' – she needed to do something else with her life; she just didn't know what exactly. So when her father's suggestion was brought to her, she wasn't reluctant in giving her agreement.

However, she was now rethinking her decision as she was faced with socializing with more than one person. Perhaps it was too soon to be coming out of her reclusive state. She was almost shuddering.

"This is Alice," Tanya told Bella, pointing to a minute brunette with a pixie crop in the corner.

"Enchanted," Alice smiled and then held out her hand for Bella to take it. "I can tell we're going to be just great friends."

Bella could only smile back. She had never really had any real friends before, but that was how she liked it. On the other hand, Alice seemed friendly enough and despite her forwardness, Bella felt comfortable and welcome.

Tanya then told Bella that her task for the day would be to shadow Alice; just to get to know the customers and how the shop functioned. Bella was content at this idea, as it meant she didn't have to do much talking herself. Sometimes just watching without speaking made Bella feel calm and at ease and that's what she liked the most.

Alice was different to Bella – in fact, she was the complete opposite. She bounced up to the counter and to Bella's complete dismay, winked at her whilst flouncing around – just like a little fairy. _Huh,_ Bella thought as she watched Alice. She was surprised at how charming she found her; maybe they would be friends after all.

After surveying the general way in which the customers were served, Bella felt a little more confident than before. She had gotten to know Alice a little better and she seemed sweet. She almost made Bella wish she had started to make friends a lot earlier. But for now, she was satisfied with what she had. Alice liked to talk about herself: Bella found out that she was an only child (just like herself) and she lived with her mother and father on the reservation as that's where their work was based. Bella then realized that that was the reason to why she had never seen Alice at school. It was the only explanation; Bella was very conscientious.

Suddenly, Alice turned to Bella whilst her eyes were glistening. "Now sometimes, you get the occasional super-hot customer, so flirting is generally accepted when serving them," Alice told her.

Bella smiled a little; she had never flirted before, even though the idea of it sort of thrilled her. Boys had tried to talk to Bella before – you know, the usual small talk. But Bella believed in far more intelligent conversation and didn't care for the boys at her school. Yes, some of them were rather beautiful, in her opinion, but for some reason Bella felt quite alienated from them – as if she was from another planet. Then again, she did feel like that towards anyone at her school.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

Alice laughed, quite throatily. Bella wondered if she was a smoker. "Well, for example, you see this hotty coming in right now? Watch what I do."

Of course, Bella welcomed this instruction. She was good at watching; especially observant.

The man walked in, who must have been in his mid-thirties was quite attractive, in Bella's view. He was fair with blue eyes and certainly gave Alice a bravura smile as he approached her. Bella watched as Alice looked up at him, smiling with her eyes and accompanying it with a sly smirk spreading across her face.

Bella looked down, feeling terribly embarrassed. She wanted to tell Alice that she was being too obvious and that she was about to humiliate herself. Then again, Bella didn't know how these things worked, so she guessed she would watch, just as Alice had requested. But she still couldn't help blushing.

"What do you feel like?" Alice asked, her eyes scandalous and her voice low and almost raspy. Bella wanted to cower in embarrassment.

The man hesitated whilst still smiling at Alice. "Well, I certainly have one thing in mind – but what's good in here?" He had a slight southern accent, which Bella had to admit she found mildly appealing. The fact that she had started to feel some sort of attraction excited Bella, but she wasn't completely sure that it wasn't just Alice's confidence rubbing off on her.

Alice continued her compelling smirk. "There are a lot of good things in here, sir." Bella could have sworn that she saw Alice give him that little wink. She felt _mortified._

"In that case, I'll just have to take whatever you have to offer," the man replied, almost matching the tone of Alice's voice. Bella apprehensively waited for what Alice had to say next. Although the embarrassment was very much overpowering her and the thing she wanted most at that moment was to curl up into a ball and hide in the corner, she stayed quiet. Bella had to admit she was if anything mildly intrigued.

"No preferences?" Alice smiled. Bella awaited the response as fervently as Alice did.

The man laughed a little. "Well, if you must know, I'm definitely a _buns_ type of guy."

"Buns you say?" Alice giggled and then whispered in Bella's ear. Her breathing began to pick up. "I have a good butt!" Alice said impatiently to Bella, and then turned around to the wall behind the counter, where some iced buns were sitting. Bella watched the man's eyes as Alice bent down, and sure enough, he was definitely a buns man. She giggled nervously inside at the man's flirtatious leer – it was highly captivating and thoroughly new to Bella.

Alice turned back around with two iced buns and held them up so that they were suggestively aligned with her chest. Despite all the excitement of the innovative situation, it was all too embarrassing for Bella; she wasn't used to this sort of repartee. She wanted to bury her head in her hands, but she was worried one of them would notice, and Bella wasn't one who liked to create a fuss. Besides, she was almost enjoying the show and wanted to know what would happen next.

"Sprinkles or no sprinkles?" Alice asked.

Then, just before the guy answered, Bella and Alice's boss Tanya emerged from the back kitchen with a colossal grin on her face. Bella noticed the man stirring as he looked from Alice and then back at Tanya.

"_Jasper!"_ Tanya screamed as she burst through the door of the counter. "Girls, I want you to meet someone very special to me. This is my boyfriend, Jasper."

Bella watched as Alice's salacious glare dropped from her face and Jasper's flirtatious smile quickly vanished. "Nice to meet you," he said, rather morosely.

Bella then heard Alice mutter something under her breath. "Shit. _That's_ Jasper."

Bella wanted to laugh at this awkward situation, but surely that would increase the discomfiture. Tanya looked at both Alice and Bella, scanning their faces to see what was so gauche, but gladly she thought nothing of it, and then linked her arm between Jasper's. Bella felt Alice stiffen a little.

"Right girls, it's early in the morning so I don't think you will be busy for a while, so I'm just popping out for half an hour with Jasper. Alice, you're in charge from now until I get back. Don't screw anything up! Look after Bella!" She laughed, and with that, walked out of the door and down the high street arm in arm with her silent boyfriend. Alice and Bella watched them through the window as they walked off, and Jasper turned to give Alice a little grin before returning his affection to the boss.

"I think he likes you," Bella whispered, stuttering slightly as she was astounded to hear her own voice. She never said anything like that – but this was a new start, a new Bella, she was done being known as the town's recluse. And she guessed that she could start by talking a small amount more.

"You think?" Alice said quite flatly, but then turned to Bella and gave her a little smile. "He's cute, huh?" Bella could sense that Alice was still self-conscious from before, especially as it had began to go so well.

"Yeah, he's nice," Bella replied.

"Say, you're really pretty, do you have a boyfriend?" Alice asked, her eyes almost as eager as they were when she looked at Jasper. Clearly, she liked some gossip.

"Oh no, I don't date," Bella replied. She was surprised at how much she was revealing to this girl, but hey, she would have to get used to it.

"Really?" Alice looked thunderstruck. "Why not? Bad breakup or something?"

"Something like that," Bella retorted. She liked Alice and didn't want her to think she was a freak just like everyone else did.

"Well, I think it's your turn to be flirto number two today." Alice grinned enthusiastically as if she had a budding idea.

"Flirto number two?" Bella laughed a little; she wasn't quite sure what Alice meant.

"Yes, now I can see one of our regulars walking up the road right now, and he is hot. I mean, I've tried it before but, he's about thirty and has a wife and a kid. My mum sort of knows his family though and says his wife cheated on him, so I'm guessing he's looking for someone else. Go on Bella, let's see what you've got."

Bella gasped at the prospect of her first attempt at flirting being with a thirty year old married man with a child. She wouldn't do that, but Alice seemed so eager, and she was the first friend Bella had ever had. She wanted to make a good impression, but it seemed like too much. Would she do it? _Could_ she even do it? She looked at the door as the man walked through it, but she didn't get a chance to look at his face properly as he looked down. She turned to Alice.

"I can't," she whispered, shock written all over her face. She had hardly ever talked to a guy before, let alone flirted with them. It seemed a too big step for her, just to outwardly flirt with someone that she had never met who was at least ten years older than her. Her hands began to shake.

"Come on, you know you can. You'll be fine. Seriously," Alice brought her voice down to a whisper. "He's looking at you right now. He wants to order from you, I can see it. Do you want me to tell Tanya you refused to serve a customer?"

Of course she didn't, and although Alice's words sounded quite callous, she knew that she was doing her a favor. After years of barely talking to anyone but her teachers and her father, she needed to be plunged back into the real world – and that's where Alice came in. Bella gulped, and then gave Alice evils whilst she smiled back. She then turned to the man that was waiting for her.

Bella stopped in her tracks as she turned around to look at the man that was awaiting her. Alice had been very wrong. He wasn't 'hot' as Alice had called him no, that was a word that would certainly not describe the aesthetic portrait of this man. Bella's mouth dropped a little, almost in a gasp as she continued to gape at him. There was something about his face that seemed broken, as if his face was formed to portray the pained look. His eyes were a deep green and looked like they should be happy, but instead they seemed poignant. As he looked into Bella's eyes, obviously reading her the way she was reading him, she could only come to one conclusion with a sigh. He was beautiful.


	2. The Man

"Hello," the man whispered in a velvety and almost musical voice.

Bella stood still for a second, her mouth still slightly opened. She'd shut it just before the drool managed to slip out – that would have been embarrassing.

The man sensed the girl's awkwardness and nerves, but to him, she seemed interesting – as if there was a story to her. He was used to girls having an odd reaction around him – but this girl just looked too broken and kaput that he couldn't help but be intrigued. He could have just asked for what he wanted there and then, straight out, flat, without emotion as that was familiar to him, but his voice betrayed him and began to speak off its own accord.

"Are you new? I don't think I've seen you before," he whispered.

The girl hesitated before she answered, as if she was having trouble getting the words to come out. "Yes," she managed to stutter. "I started today."

The short girl behind her was grinning profusely. It was almost distracting; however, the man was inspired by the look on Bella's face. He wanted to fix her; if he could. It almost upset him how hurt she looked. There was evidently an anecdote behind this girl's eyes. Although they were a chocolate brown color and were far from transparent, there was obviously a lifetime of frustration behind them. He could recognize this as her visage only reflected what had been his for a long time now. He sighed as they stared deeply into each other's eyes, trying to figure the other one out.

Bella, on the other hand, was trying to figure out why this man was not responding to her. Was it something she had said? She had been extremely nervous as he implored her eyes. Was he judging her? Was he used to the confident and oh-so-forward girls that usually worked here? Or maybe someone with looks as incredible as his wasn't going to waste his time on a boring girl like her.

Maybe he had heard of her. After all, she was pretty sure that most people knew the name Bella Swan in Forks. Everyone was aware that the chief of police, her father, had a daughter. It was probably quite obvious that after her mother died, she only ever left the house for school and if her father made her. She was, after all, the town recluse, and the beautiful man standing before her probably wanted nothing to do with her.

"I'm Edward, Edward Cullen," the man finally said.

She was sure she had heard that name before, but she couldn't quite put her finger on where. She still wondered if the man knew her name or not, but she thought that it might be courteous to tell him her name anyway. She may have lacked social skills but her mother taught her how to be polite. "I'm Bella," she smiled.

"Ah," Edward replied. The name suited her so well. "The Italian word for beautiful."

Bella didn't know whether he was being sarcastic or not, but she couldn't help but blush anyway. No one had ever called her beautiful before. She'd overheard some of the guys at her school say things like 'she could be kind of hot if she wasn't such a freak' and 'maybe if she didn't stay inside all day she wouldn't look so bad'. She shook her head to break out of the blush. He didn't even call her beautiful anyway, he just translated her name.

"Yes," she retorted.

"It suits you," he almost whispered. There was something about his voice that was drawing Bella in. She found herself light-headed every time he spoke.

"Thank you," she replied, completely dazed. She heard Alice cough behind her and then she turned around to look at her. Bella didn't know what she was indicating so had to whisper a quick "what?"

Alice bounced forwards to the counter and smiled gleefully at the customer. "Then, you ask them what they would like to buy," she said, patronizingly.

She blushed again, this was getting all to embarrassing for her. She couldn't help but feel like her cheeks were on fire, but then again there was another part of her that was on fire, and she couldn't recognize it. Was she burning up? Did her apron get caught in the oven in the back room? She looked down just to make sure, but she then realized that the fire was burning inside of her and that it was almost…pleasant.

"Sorry," she whispered. "What can I get you?"

He smiled at her, showing most of his perfectly formed teeth. She felt herself gasp at how pleasing his smile was. He hesitated a little as he continued to stare at the beauty of this innocent young girl, and he almost became sidetracked. This was the longest greeting he had ever experienced.

"Well, my wife asked me if I could find a birthday cake for my daughter – she's three in two weeks, and we wanted to get the cake as early as possible. Do you think you could help me? I'm useless at knowing what girls want."

He grimaced at what he had just said. He sounded so incompetent even though he wanted to try his best to talk to this girl. He shuddered again when he realized he had slipped in, in one whole sentence, that he had a wife _and_ a child. There was no way this girl would ever look at him in the way that he wanted after he'd told her that, but she continued to stare at him and blush in the way she had before. He wished he knew what she was thinking.

"The occasion cakes are over here," Bella indicated as she walked over to the next counter full of blue and pink cakes. She left a large gap between herself and the counter, as if she was distancing herself from the man; as if she was scared to get any closer. Edward watched her carefully, as she mirrored the way in which he recognized his own walk. She was scared.

"Wow, there sure is a lot of choice," Edward said, hoping to ease Bella into a lighter and friendlier conversation.

"Yes, there is. I hadn't even realized," she whispered.

Suddenly, Alice came from behind Bella again and whispered in her ear. "I'm just going to the back to give you some space. It's up to you now, and just so you know, he's totally into you." Alice then turned on her heel and headed into the back baking room, leaving just Edward, Bella and the tense atmosphere that was surrounding them.

"What do you recommend for my daughter then, Bella?" Edward asked, as soon as Alice had left.

Bella was quicker to respond this time. "Well, I can't really see the cakes from here, so I think it's quite hard to judge." Bella was surprised at what came out of her mouth, but pleased at the same time. For the first time since her mother had died, she was talking to someone almost at ease; someone who wasn't her father.

Edward chuckled at Bella's response. "Well, there's no one else in the shop so maybe you could come around here and help me choose?"

They both froze. There was already so much tension in the atmosphere that if they got any closer, something might happen – and they weren't sure what exactly. But Edward had already said his suggestion, and it was completely logical so Bella had no other choice. It wasn't as if she was as reluctant as she expected; there was something inside her begging to be closer to this man.

"Okay," she murmured.

Whilst her legs almost wobbled, she still managed to make her way around the side. She was cautious not to be so close to Edward as she was worried that if she so much brushed her hand against his sleeve, she wouldn't be able to help herself from launching herself at the poor man and forcing her lips to his perfect mouth, or maybe instead just start crying at the overwhelming body contact to a stranger. She wasn't even sure which option would be worse.

She placed her feet about a foot away from his and they stood side by side. Edward had to fight the corners of his mouth turning upwards into a grin as he was so close to this wondrous girl that was by his side. They were silent for a minute as they mutually relished being in each other's presence.

"Got any ideas?" Edward whispered. His voice was almost husky and he had to cough loudly to make it sound as if he had a cold, rather than proving that he had obviously gotten enveloped in the moment that he and Bella were sharing.

"I love the modest pink and white elephant one at the bottom," Bella said quite confidently, pointing to the cake that she was suggesting.

"Yes, I was thinking that one to but – "he paused and hesitated before he used the term 'wife' and then said –"I'm sure _her mother_ would want something more extravagant."

"Oh okay," Bella retorted and went back to looking. She carried on peering around the counter, as Edward did so. Suddenly, Bella felt a warm hand brush past hers and she jumped. She gasped as she looked at Edward and he was looking shamefully at his hand. He hadn't realized that he had gotten closer to her, but the sheer electricity that the skin contact had caused told him otherwise.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Don't be," Bella replied. She blushed as she knew now that the situation couldn't be any more quite awkward. Edward chuckled under his breath, and Bella found herself silently giggling, too.

"How about this one?" Edward asked, breaking the awkward silence and pointing to the largest cake on the shelf. It was intricately designed with slight lace bunting around the edge. It was white and pink and on the top of the cake rested a rabbit with a basket. It looked like an Easter cake to Bella, but it was still the most beautiful and most profligate cake on the rack.

"It's perfect," she said. "Definitely extravagant."

"Yes, Rosalie will love it."

"Is that the name of your daughter?" Bella asked, suddenly curious about this man's life.

"No, that's the name of her mother," Edward stated, flatly. He didn't like to bring up Rosalie – it hurt him too much. "My daughter's name is Honey."

"That's very sweet," she stated.

"And she loves rabbits, so this really is perfect. Thank you for helping me choose it, Bella," Edward said, looking almost lovingly into her eyes. He was clearly devoted to his daughter, because as he spoke of her, Bella noticed that his eyes lit up in a way to suggest that she was his hope. Despite the broken look of him, his daughter was obviously something that seemed to fix him temporarily. Bella wished she had someone to do that for her.

"That's okay. Any time," she answered him, and she meant it.

Alice came around just in time to do the till for Bella, as she was too mesmerized to even attempt to put the cake through the till on her own. Whilst Alice scuttled around doing the till work, Edward never took his eyes off of Bella, and she did the same. It was odd how she could just stare into this man's eyes without feeling any discomfort – despite the tense attraction they held for each other. Alice was chatting away to both of them, but it made no difference. They didn't hear her. All that mattered at that moment was figuring each other out.

Bella bit her lip slightly as she gazed into his green eyes. Her breathing was heavy – but almost in a good way. Edward kept his stare on her, obviously realising the effect that he was giving her. But for some reason, she didn't care. She wanted him to know how she was feeling, just as long as she didn't have to clumsily attempt to put it into words. But words weren't needed to say how much of an attraction they both had for each other. Time stopped as they just stared.

"Goodbye Bella," Edward whispered as he finally broke the gaze with a smile.

"Bye, Edward," Bella said in a trance; she wasn't even thinking about what to say, which was a start.

Edward held her stare for just a while longer before he took the cake and then turned on his heel to walk out of the door. Bella continued to watch him as he strode slowly down the high street, and she took the time to take him in as a whole, not just his beautiful face.

She knew then that it would not be the last time she saw Edward Cullen.


	3. The Breaking Point

He woke with a start again. As always, he was sweating, but this time not as much. He looked to the side of him and expected an empty space, and surely there was one. A couple of months ago it would have upset him not to wake up next to Rosalie, but now he felt as if he were numb. There was nothing specific that hurt him anymore; he was far too broken for anything else to do significant damage.

It was still dark when Edward woke up. Although his sleeping patterns were beginning to improve, the timing was not one of them. He didn't like to lie there and think about what happened, so instead he got up as soon as he could.

He went to the kitchen first; he immediately needed a pickup. He switched on the coffee machine and clicked the espresso button. He used to prefer a cappuccino, but these days he felt that the stronger the better. He sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen on the bar stool and listened to the silence for a minute. He liked the silence – sometimes it made him forget.

After the coffee was done, he sat down again with it and waited for it to cool down. He then looked at the time on the clock and he realized that he had awoken even earlier than usual; it was half past five. It would be at least half an hour before Honey got up, so what could he do to pass that time? There was no way he could go back to sleep – once he could finally drift off, Honey would be awake by then.

Edward moved towards the window of the kitchen and looked outside. It was raining of course; that was no surprise in this town. It always rained. He listened closely to the birds singing and he guessed that they sort of occupied him for a while. He didn't like to think as he was too worried that his mind would drift back to _that_ night.

He motioned away from the window and leant against the kitchen counter. Suddenly, he heard a high pitched wail.

"Daaaaadaaaa!"

Edward smiled at the sound of his child's voice. It seemed as if Honey had woken up a little earlier than usual. "I'm coming," he replied.

He walked into the room that was starting to lighten through the blinds with the sunrise. There in her cot stood the beautiful Honey, waiting for her father's embrace. She smiled at him and held her arms out, wanting to be held by him immediately. Her curly soft blond hair was bouncing at her shoulders – she'd gotten that from her mother. But she had her father's eyes: sharp, piercing green.

"Come here," Edward whispered as he lifted Honey out of her crib. She let out a laugh at the sheer delight of being held by her father. "Ssh," Edward whispered. "We don't want to wake up Mommy."

He carried her back into the kitchen to get Honey her breakfast. He made her marmite on toast, just like she loved it every morning. "Thanks," she said clumsily. Her speech was getting a lot better, Edward noticed.

He sat next to Honey as she took a while to eat her toast. He didn't need to make contact or communicate with her to be happy. He just liked to watch her, whilst she was contented. It was because it was the only time where he could admit _he_ was fully content – seeing his daughter in high spirits. It made him feel warm inside.

Suddenly, Edward heard a noise coming from the room above them: her room, _their_ room. He winced as he heard her get up and walk down the stairs and then towards the kitchen. His body began to tense up and he wanted to make an immediate run for it, however, he couldn't. There was no way unless he passed her. He would just have to endure it.

"Mommy," Honey stated.

"Yes, Honey, your mom is waking up," Edward retorted. He winced again as he now heard footsteps coming up to the kitchen door.

Rosalie then entered the room. Edward stared at her, trying to take the vision of her all in before it hurt him too much. Rosalie was tall, blonde and painfully beautiful. Her eyes were a stunning pale blue, her lips plump and full and her figure was glorious. But the fact that Edward knew that some other guy had had his hands all over that body, his lips all over his wife's, his…well, you get the picture. Now, every time he stared at his wife all he felt was a huge shooting pain inside his chest; like his heart was breaking over and over and over again.

"Morning," she whispered. Edward's heart was demolished. He had to leave.

He stood up briskly from the chair and began to motion out of the room. "Edward, wait," Rosalie asked him. He stopped still in his tracks.

"I can't," he murmured.

"Please, you haven't talked to me for three months," she retorted.

It was true and perhaps it wasn't fair, but Edward physically couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd withstood being around Rosalie for Honey's sake; maybe watching some television together or taking a walk in the park. Honey understood that they didn't sleep in the same bed anymore but Edward had told her that it was because her daddy was simply far too big to share a bed any longer.

"I have a little bit," Edward whispered.

"Please, we haven't talked about what happened since…well, it happened," Rosalie argued.

Edward felt his insides seize up. He never wanted to talk about what happened – it pained him far too much. Every time he saw Rosalie, thought about her, and sometimes when he saw his wife in Honey, it all took him back to that night when he found her.

_He'd been walking up the stairs after a long shift from work. He'd been working so hard that he decided to give himself the night off and surprise his beautiful wife with some roses and a romantic night in. He'd seen that Honey had been put to bed already and there was no sign of Rosalie downstairs so he figured he would sneak up on her whilst she was reading in bed or something._

_As he got closer to their bedroom door, he heard Rose's familiar giggle and pleasured sighs. He smiled as he thought she must be having some fun on her own whilst her husband was at work. He was sure that he would help her finish once he saw her. As soon as he put his hand on the doorknob to twist it and open the door, there was a sound that made him stop in his tracks._

_It wasn't her. There was someone else in that room and it was a male. Edward was sure that he wasn't hearing right. He and Rosalie adored each other and they had only just gotten married and had a baby, it had seemed. There was no way that a girl as perfect as her would betray him in this way. He had to listen again._

"_Oh," Rosalie moaned._

"_That's it baby, keep going," he heard the male grunt._

"_Yes, Emmett," she groaned. And then she groaned again. And again. And Edward listened, his hands clenched in tight fists and his nails dug into his palms as he waited for the silence to begin and the moans of them to stop. _

_When they finally did, Edward opened the door. Of course, he saw what he expected to see, although there was still some part of him hoping and praying that what he heard with his ears was all just one big misunderstanding. But it wasn't._

"_Oh my God! I am so sorry!" His wife screamed. The guy just lay there and looked at him in a confused way._

"_What the fuck, Rose? You said you were single," he stated._

_Edward wanted to scream. In fact, he wanted to kill Rose. Instead, he chose the guy that was lying in their bed. He couldn't help it. The rage that was enveloping him was uncontrollable. _

_He threw a punch to Emmett's face as he launched himself onto the bed that his wife had just been making love on. There was some resistance from the guy, but Edward didn't care. He watched as his fists hit the man's face, blood spluttering out of his mouth with every blow, his nose cracking in various places, his eyes puffing and swelling as Edward beat the hell out of him._

_He knew he was beginning to go too far but still, he continued. He continued until his hands hurt and he was out of breath. He stopped for one second and turned to Rose. She was still screaming "Stop! You're killing him!" But Edward was too numb to give a flying fuck if he killed him or not. He turned back to face the man before he gave him his final few blows._

_Suddenly, he heard his baby begin to cry. He listened to the wails as he stared into Emmett's face, who was now almost unconscious. As he drew his arm up to punch again, he heard his daughter sniffling. He couldn't do it anymore. He needed his daughter, and she wouldn't have a father if Edward ended up going to prison for killing his wife's little on-the-side. He wouldn't do that to her. He couldn't._

_He moved himself off of the man whilst Rosalie wailed. He pointed into her face and shouted._

"_I will _never_ love you again."_

"_Please," she begged, tears violently streaming down her face. She attempted to touch his face, but he backed away immediately._

"_I'm sorry," she whispered._

_He looked at her, malice and sorrow filling his eyes. She had broken his heart in the most malevolent way she could. There he was, about to shatter into a million different pieces. It wasn't just the fact that their marriage was now an obvious farce, it was also their family. His mind cast back to his daughter and he began to cry._

"_How could you do this?" He asked Rose, trembling with desolation._

"_I'm sorry, Edward… there is no explanation for it all. You know I love you… and I always will."_

"_I'm not talking about me, you whore, _we _are completely over! I'm talking about Honey!"_

_Rose stopped crying for a minute and slumped to the ground. She looked down at her feet in silence as Edward continued to stare at her. "You didn't think about that before you let this fat shit fuck you, did you?" _

_Rose couldn't give her husband an answer. She was fully regretful and she wanted to be remorseful, but there was no way that she could turn back the hands of time. What was done, was done and now she would have to face the harsh ramifications. She would lose Edward, the love of her life who clearly hated her now, but what hurt the most was losing her daughter. She knew how much Edward loved Honey and the only way she could fix everything was to threaten him. In her eyes, she saw it as the only solution to the mess that she had callously created._

"_If you make me leave, you know I will take Honey with me," Rosalie stated._

_Edward shifted. He had a law degree from Harvard so of course he knew about custody battles. The mom, if not violent or unstable, always won. Even though all he could think of was how much of a fucking whore she was, he still knew that she was a good mom. He would not let her take Honey away from him._

"_No, you cannot leave and take my daughter with you," Edward shouted._

"_She's _our _daughter, Edward. I'm her mom, and she goes wherever I go. That's how it is," Rose shouted back._

"_No, you need to get out and leave her here with me."_

"_And who is going to look after her Edward? You're at work most of the time, we hardly ever see you! You know, maybe that's why this happened."_

_Edward paused for a second. He thought about Rose and how he was at work so often. "Rose, how many times have you fucked this guy?"_

_Rose shifted and hesitated. She knew that the damage was done and the only way she could be penitent was to tell the truth. It was the least she could have done. "Twice, but that's it."_

_Edward felt the anger bubble up inside of him, as if it was going to erupt out of his mouth. He clenched his fists tightly and felt his nails go into the same incisions he had made on his hands earlier. A couple more tears crawled out of his eyes. He looked at Rose and his heart broke over and over again. He never wanted to see her again, but then he thought of Honey and it made him cry even more. He knew what Rose was like; she loved Honey as much as he did and she would do anything to keep the family together._

"_I'll stay."_

_Rose sniffed and looked up at him. "Really?" She asked._

"_Yes, but on three conditions."_

_Rose looked down again in despair and awaited the cold truth and the horrible consequences that would rightly occur._

"_One, when he's in better state, you get this guy out of here immediately and wipe any trace of him from our house, do you understand?" _

_Rose nodded._

"_Second, whenever I am here, I am looking after Honey. When I'm at work, that's when you get your time with her."_

_Rose hesitated but then nodded when she realised that it wouldn't make a significant difference to how their day worked anyway._

"_And thirdly, this being the most important one," he whispered and then paused._

"_What is it?" Rose asked him, anticipating a harsh response. She flinched at his next tone of voice._

"_I don't ever want to be in the same room as you. I will sleep in the spare room as I don't want to be anywhere that other thing has been. I don't want to talk to you, or even look at you, do you understand? The only thing that we have now is Honey, and that's the only reason you're staying. There is no 'us' anymore. We're over."_

_Rosalie began to sob loudly. It was only when Edward had said all of that, it really hit home. She wanted to beg his forgiveness, but she knew that it was no use. She loved him unconditionally and now it was too late. He was no longer hers._

_Edward then left the room briskly; anything to get away from the face that was constantly reminding him of how much his heart was hurting. He needed to do something, just to feel alive again. _

_He walked into Honey's room and found that she had stopped crying. Instead, she lay soundly sleeping, blissfully unaware that her parents' future together had just been trashed and then scattered. Edward carefully picked her up along with her quilt, attempting not to wake her up in the process. He was successful as he held her closely, but not tightly, and rocked her gently._

_He watched her peaceful face and was jealous of how serene she seemed. He would give anything to sleep all day and not have to wake up to the ruthless reality that was now completely welcoming him. At least he had his daughter though, and at that moment it was all that mattered._

Edward was suddenly brought back to actuality when he heard the timid voice of his wife. "Edward please, I don't want to go on like this anymore. Your head is vacant; your eyes look like they don't have any life anymore. I'm worried about you," she whispered.

"Like you care, Rose," Edward snapped back. He had no time for this and he didn't want to argue in front of Honey. She had gotten to the point now where she understood most things they said and was also saying things back.

He walked over to Honey and kissed her on the cheek. "Bye sweetie, I'm just going to work. I'll see you later. I love you."

Rose shivered at her husband's kind words contrasting to the ones aimed at her.

"Love you, Dada," she replied. Edward's heart soared as he heard those words.

"Edward, you don't work on Sundays," Rose stated, but he ignored her and headed for the door.

He needed to take his mind off of things and tried to remember the last time he was truly captivated by one thought that didn't bring him back to his wife or his daughter. Then he remembered.

The girl from the bakery – of course! He was shocked that he had forgotten about her. He remembered the way she stuttered when she talked to him, the way her eyes were a constant story and most of all he remembered how beautiful he found her. She was the first person he had felt any connection with since… He shuddered. He didn't want to think about her today, if he could.

He wondered whether the bakery would be open on Sundays and then automatically got in his car and drove in the direction of the high street. He smiled as he reminisced about the electricity that one touch had caused between he and this girl, and then he laughed. He was laughing at the fact that when he thought of her, he felt almost happy. He hadn't felt _that_ sort of happy in a very long time and he wanted to again.

He parked his car as close to the bakery as he could and then he got out. The wind blew in his hair as he approached the shop, read the open sign, pushed the door and entered. He smiled when he noticed that she was working there again, and she looked even more exquisite than ever.

After all, she was the one who made him forget.


	4. The Spill

**A/N: Hope you're all having a good New Year, so far! I just wanted to say thank you for all the reviews, and of course the British snow for snowing me in today so I could finish this piece. Enjoy!**

Bella sighed as she got into work. She wasn't used to getting up this early – it was six AM on a Sunday. Her hair was slightly dishevelled and even though she managed to have a shower, she was far from looking her best. She caught sight of herself in the reflection of the coffee machine and grimaced. She looked like death warmed up.

As she got her apron on and attempted to fix her hair a little better, she thought about what had happened the day before.

_Him._

He was far from any other man she had ever met before – even though she hadn't exactly met many people. There was something strange about the man, and the way she felt around him; it was as if there was a magnetic force trying desperately to put them together. She guessed that was the logic behind a strong attraction; perhaps people had the same effect as the poles on magnets.

Alice remarked on the way Bella looked as she walked into the area by the counter. "Rough night?"

"A little. I couldn't sleep very well," Bella replied.

Alice laughed. "Too busy thinking about Mr. Cullen, I think!"

Bella laughed back as if it were all one big joke. Her stomach jolted when she heard his name and then squeezed her again when she realized that Alice had guessed completely correctly. Bella had always had trouble sleeping, but that night seemed to be especially worse. Just as she would be drifting off, she'd suddenly see his face, that pretty-much-perfect smile and then she would have to wait half an hour before she felt tired again. It was sort of pathetic.

"So is he coming to collect the cake next Saturday, then?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, I think that's what he said," she retorted, although truthfully she had been so captivated by his emerald eyes that she couldn't even remember a word he'd said. She remembered the perfection of his face, although slightly jaded from the broken look in his eyes. She remembered his smile and then shivered. Again, it was sort of pathetic.

She picked up the cake that he had chosen the previous day and put it on the top order shelf, just as she was instructed. She smiled as she looked at it; he had made a good choice. She couldn't wait until he returned to get it though, and hoped it wasn't in the week when she wasn't working. She was almost sad when it occurred to her that he may just come back for it another time.

Just then, it was as if her prayers were answered. Ruffled, slept-in and certainly jaded, the first customer entered the shop. His eyes were completely intent as he gazed upon her, and Bella even heard Alice gasp as he walked in. The fire returned to her as it had done the day before and she was shocked. She wasn't quite sure what to do; should she run to the back and hide and wait for the fire to burn out? Or should she simply give into what she was currently being taken over by, and just jump on the man whose eyes were eagerly awaiting her response? Luckily, she chose neither and remained quiet, but let the fire stay ignited.

"Hello again," he whispered in that wonderful velvety voice that she was glad she hadn't imagined.

"Hi," she squeaked.

He smiled at her and she froze. The fire was getting even hotter and there was nothing she could do to prevent it. It was stunningly crooked and full of mischief. She just wanted to smile back; and she did.

Alice sneakily left the room again leaving the other two to continue. Only then, when they were really alone, Bella realized that the tension was back. She felt weak at the knees again and uncontrollable. If she hadn't been so nervous and reclusive, then she was sure that she would have jumped on him by now. It was absolutely ridiculous.

"What can I…" her voice trailed off. Her throat felt as it did when she was about to cry, or if she'd eaten something the wrong way. How was it, that one human being could make her feel like this? She wasn't sure whether she liked it or not, but she didn't want it to stop.

He continued to smile at her. He like d how nervous she became when she was around him, although he sensed that she was a timid person from the start. "I've come to pick up my cake, Isabella," he murmured, whilst still holding her gaze as if he were enchanting her. She noticed how he had elongated her name to Isabella – which was a little strange – but she liked it.

She plucked up the courage to smile back and talk. He may have made her a nervous wreck, but ultimately he was bringing out the best in her. She wasn't a confident person but he made her want to be. At least she was trying. "Yes, I will just go and get it for you."

She turned around the top shelf and then saw how high the cake was placed. Alice had used a ladder to place it there originally, but the step was nowhere to be seen. She became a little flustered as she wondered how she was going to get it down, the klutz that she was. After all, he was watching her and she knew that she would completely keel over and die if she did anything stupid in front of him.

"Alice?" she called, but no one answered.

Suddenly, she was interrupted. "Do you want me to help you there, Isabella? I think I am a lot taller than you." He laughed and then she gulped. In any usual circumstance, she would have welcomed the help but after last time, when they stood near each other and she experienced that electric shock, well, she was scared that it would happen again. Especially today when he looked so…mouth-watering.

Her mouth and her body betrayed her, however, and turned to him and said, "Thank you; that would be great."

He walked around the side to help Bella, but this time he was entering her territory. He was careful not to touch her after the mutual shock they both received last time, but some part of him secretly wanted to remember what that felt like. Instead, he gave her a strong yet tainted smile as he stood by her side. She gulped.

Bella watched him as he turned to reach up to the top shelf. She stared as she regarded the innovative way his body was formed, how he was lean yet incredibly muscular and as he reached even higher, Bella's breath hitched as his t-shirt revealed an exquisite bronze trail of fluff that went from his navel right down to his…

"This is harder than I thought," Edward said as he looked back at Bella. However, she was still occupied with the anatomy of this incredible being that was right in front of her. Suddenly, she shook her head and out of the trance that Edward seemed to set her in. Her fire was burning her up now, and she was beginning to question her control.

"I know," she murmured back. "I guess you could step on some of the catalogues that we have behind the counter, since I can't find the stepladder."

Bella smiled inside at her maintenance of control and the confidence that she never knew she had. Perhaps she was stronger than she thought.

"That sounds practical," Edward retorted and then Bella turned to retrieve her makeshift ladder. She wasn't aware, however, of Edward's stare after her.

He considered her for a little while, and couldn't help analysing the way she moved. She looked a little timid, but not hunched. She still walked with a slight sway of the hips, which suited how modest she seemed. Although he couldn't see much of her body, the way her pink apron and black polo shirt clung to her was, for lack of a better word…_nice_. He felt himself smiling at her as she turned around. She awkwardly smiled back.

Bella bent over to put the magazines next to Edward's feet. Edward had to remind himself that Bella was far too young for his thoughts to run like they were as he watched her ample bottom as she set the paper on the floor. "Dammit," he cursed under his breath and got back to concentrating on how he was going to get the cake down.

_I could have just called Alice and asked where the step ladder was,_ Bella thought. _Then it would have saved me all this awkward silence._ But the reason as to why she did not just simply call Alice was suddenly brought into light again as Edward reached up to bring the cake down. Bella's fire was burning out of control; she couldn't even breathe properly. She just wanted to reach out and touch him, trace his belly fluff and see where it ended…

"Got it," Edward exclaimed as he pulled the caked down. It balanced on the palm of his hand as it was still slightly too high to get a proper grasp on it. Bella was too engrossed on Edward's stomach and trail to even notice that one of the magazines was slipping underneath his foot.

In one swift movement, Edward's body slipped from Bella's view and onto the floor. In a massive panic attack, Bella tried to retrieve the cake as it came down, but it came down just as swiftly as Edward before Bella could prepare to catch it. Half of the cake came down on one side of Bella's face, slipped down to her shoulder and her chest and then the rest fell on Edward who was lying in an awkward position on the floor.

Adrenaline pulsed through Bella as she rushed to Edward's side. "Are you okay, Mr. Cullen?" She asked, concern running through every tone of her sentence. She didn't care about the cake which was covering most of her face and half of her body, she just wanted to make sure that Edward was alright.

"Yeah, I'm fine thank you, Isabella," he said as he attempted to sit up. "I'm not usually that clumsy."

"I am," Bella stuttered. "Maybe I'm just rubbing off on you."

Edward laughed, and his laugh sang like one thousand angels. Bella just felt completely compelled to laugh with him.

"You're so mucky," Edward said as he pulled a piece of cake out from Bella's hair. She froze a little bit, but her fire re-ignited. "I'm sorry." The sincerity returned to Edward's voice.

Bella backed away a bit, scared a little of the human contact. She wanted so desperately to let him keep touching her…but that terrified her; she wasn't used to anyone even talking to her, let alone playing with her hair. It was something that she had seen on the television, read about in books and then certainly dreamt about, but it caused her to flinch – the fact that it was actually happening.

Edward removed his hand from her hair and Bella gave him a weak smile. He resisted the temptation of reaching out again and touching her face through the cream and the sponge that was currently enveloping her beautiful visage. He wanted to wipe away her pain.

They stared at each other for a moment, just as they had done the previous day. Their connection was again, extremely evident to the both of them. However, their beautiful moment of silence was suddenly interrupted by a shocked looking Alice.

"Oh no! What happened here? Did you drop Mr. Cullen's cake, Bella?" Alice squealed, rushing around the mess that had gone everywhere.

"No, it was my fault. Isabella tried to help me," Edward explained.

Alice regarded the catalogues that were laid all over the floor and covered in cake mess. "Why didn't you just use the step ladder, Bella? It was just round the corner."

Bella blushed profusely as Edward smirked at her. He must have thought that she had done it on purpose, just so he would come round to help her. That wasn't the case, but it may well have been.

Alice looked flustered and bothered. "Tanya will be here any minute; I have to get this cleared up. Look, Bella, go and get you and Mr. Cullen sorted out in the bathroom before she gets back. I'll clean up in here."

"Are you sure?" Bella asked, worried that she would be left alone in a small confined space with Edward. It wasn't even because of the awkwardness that may occur anymore, Bella just didn't know whether she could take anymore feeling to her lower stomach without exploding. What was this feeling? It only happened when she was around Edward, except the time she read one of her father's books that turned out to be a bit more adult than it on to be.

"Yes, just go, quick," Alice demanded as Edward began to walk to the bathroom.

"Are you sure you don't have to be anywhere, ?" Bella asked him, hoping for one more try.

"No, of course not. I don't work on Sundays," Edward explained. He then gave Bella a dazzling grin and she almost melted on the spot. "And please, call me Edward."

"Okay…Edward," Bella smiled.

They moved to the bathroom which was rather poky and small, much to Bella's disappointment. She reached up into the cabinet whilst Edward followed her, and watched her intently as she fumbled around for some cleaning components.

Edward looked down at his t-shirt and noticed that he was just as covered in cake as Bella. He laughed a little at the situation – despite embarrassing himself extremely and ruining his daughter's potential birthday cake, he was having fun. It was something that he hadn't witnessed in a very long time.

As Bella searched, she was feeling the same way. Why couldn't she stop smiling? This was an opposite reaction to what she usually did; it was more usual to try and force a smile out of her. It was what her father often said: "Bella am I going to have to force a smile out of you?" _No Daddy, _was what she would reply, and do her best to give him a mere and slight grin. Not now.

"I can only think of wet wipes," Bella explained after she had searched through the cupboards. Most of the other stuff in there was detergents – nothing for cleaning cake of amazingly tantalizing humans.

"That's fine. They work for everything, I should know," Edward replied. Bella looked at him, cocking her head slightly. "My daughter gets messy a lot," Edward explained, and Bella smiled as she saw Edward's eyes momentarily light up as he spoke of her.

Bella pulled out some wipes and handed a large handful to Edward. They began cleaning themselves up and as Edward had predicted, they were pretty useful. Luckily Bella had been wearing her apron, or otherwise her shirt would have surely been ruined. She couldn't say the same thing for Edward's garments, however.

"Your shirt is ruined!" Bella regarded.

"Don't worry about it, Isabella. I've got about a hundred of these at home," Edward grinned. Bella could see Edward's perfectly sculpted torso more easily through his shirt now that it was slightly damp. Her breathing went up a notch as she saw his visible left nipple_. Stop it!_ She told herself. It was unusually out of character for her; she never looked at guys like that.

She laughed at Edward's remark and went back to cleaning herself up. Edward gazed at her simultaneously as she worked the wipe on her shoulder and her chest. He felt himself wishing she would move the cloth a little to the side, but then his conscience brought him out of his reverie. _She's at least ten years younger than you, Cullen. Get a grip of yourself!_ However, he kept staring but kept his wishing to a minimum.

Bella tried to reach over her shoulder, noticing that it had spilled down her back, too. She tried as hard as she could to reach to the bottom of her shoulder blade but flexibility was hardly her forte. Edward noticed that she was having trouble, and contemplated whether he should ask her if he could help her. Perhaps it was too soon; he saw her reaction when he touched her hair, and he knew that he himself was finding it overwhelming to feel so fascinated with anyone how he had used to previously with his wife.

On the other hand, he was so interested in her and he just longed to touch her. Not predominantly in the way that was feral to him, it was just a feeling that was overcoming him. It wasn't a question as to where, he just wanted to feel that electricity again. He wanted it; he _needed _it. His body spoke before his mind.

"Do you want me to help you there, Isabella?" Edward asked. She adored how he used her full name – no one had used it since…her mom. Instead of it being painful, it sounded…right. She liked the sound of Edward's voice and her name came off his lips like a song.

She didn't know the truth to her feelings. Part of her was saying _No! I'm not ready for you to touch me, yet. _But part of her, especially her lower regions was saying _Yes! Oh God, yes! _She mentally cursed her personality for changing so much around this man.

"Yes please, Edward," she murmured. Even saying his name was giving her shivers.

He walked around the back of her to the problem area. "Wow, you have more cake there than I thought; it must have hit you at full throttle!" He laughed and Bella returned with a giggle. They loved being in each other's company despite the lack of knowledge about each other. All they knew was that the pain in their eyes was mirrored in the other, and it meant that they could relate, that they had chemistry, that something was happening between them: a revelation, perhaps.

Edward's cool fingers touched the flesh that was showing just past her neck and leading to her shoulder. The fire burned until it was almost giving her third degree burns and Edward's heart was beating harshly but steadily. It seemed impossible that they had such an effect on each other. Bella tenses as Edward slowly moved his finger tips to her shoulder.

"So you're the chief's daughter…" Edward began as his fingers descended sensually. He couldn't stop himself, and Bella didn't want him too, either.

"Yes," she breathed and then closed her eyes as Edward slowly wiped the cream away.

"How come I have never heard of you, then?" He asked, curiously.

Bella felt at ease with him; like she could tell him everything. Her lack of confidence slightly held her back, but she still answered him as truthfully as she could.

"I…haven't been out much," she explained.

Edward slipped past her shoulder blade and further into the center of her back, just along her bra strap. It wasn't meant to be sexual, so Edward moved his hand slightly further up. He wanted her to feel at ease.

"Me neither," he replied. "Not in the past three months, anyway."

Bella felt inclined to carry on the conversation, a surprisingly normal thing to do. "Why is that?"

Edward paused and stopped the process of removing the sponge. "I'm sorry if that was too intruding," Bella apologised.

"No," Edward said, calmly. "It's a perfectly reasonable question. I just work a lot…and any free time I get, I spend with Honey," he explained.

"Your daughter," Bella remembered.

"Yes, Isabella." He continued to wipe at an unusually slow pace. Edward hoped that Bella hadn't realised that he was taking a lot more time and care that was needed. Bella just thought that she was overanalyzing the whole act, so dismissed it.

"So why Crumbs, Bella? Are you not still at school?" Edward anticipated that Bella was still in school, but some part hoped that maybe she wasn't, so that maybe he could justify this odd obsession that he was starting to have with her and the effervescent attraction for her that was currently consuming him.

"My dad got me the job. He thought it would be healthy for me to do something else other than just going to Forks High," Bella retorted. She noted how much more she wanted to speak to Edward which was pleasantly surprising. Maybe stepping out into the real world wouldn't be as hard as she originally thought. She'd even considered spending the rest of her life as a mute.

"Are you enjoying it so far?" The wipe Edward was using casually brushed Bella's neck and she shivered.

"Yes," she whispered.

"I think you're doing great," Edward said, with a low and gruff tone to his voice. Bella was almost scared with excitement that it caused.

"Thank you," she murmured and her heart raced unbelievably fast as she felt Edward's cool breath on her skin. _Please,_ she begged unexpectedly inside her head, _please move your lips closer. _She closed her eyes and smiled as she felt him breathe.

"Right," Edward stated. "That's you done, clean and proper." Edward turned Bella around and smiled at her. Bella felt shaken that it had ended so quickly and that perhaps he was merely just helping her take the cake off. But he didn't stop looking at her.

There was a silence as Edwards hands were still placed on Bella's arms and her muscles all tensed up as she stared back into his eyes. She could get lost in them, for sure. And in fact, that was happening at that very moment. She was melting. She wondered what the hell was wrong with her. Edward pursed his lips as if he wanted to say something. Bella didn't.

"I want to know your story, Isabella," he whispered.

Bella couldn't say anything back. She broke the gaze as she heard footsteps coming around the corner. Edward released his loose grip on Bella's arms and they turned away from each other as if to disguise what had just happened. Bella's knees felt wobbly with adrenaline and…desire.

"You okay, now?" Alice asked. "I've got everything covered outside and Tanya rang to say that she would be another ten minutes to we're safe. Don't know what to do about that cake, though. I think she might notice."

"Don't worry," Edward said. Bella was sort of surprised to hear him speak so casually after what had just happened; she could barely move. "I'll still pay for it."

"That won't be necessary, Mr. Cullen," Alice told him.

"Seriously, it's absolutely no problem. It would probably give me another excuse to come in here again," Edward said without thinking.

Alice paused and looked from Bella to Edward. "Right, okay. That's fine. I'll just go and sort it out on the till."

She left them on their own in the bathroom once more. Edward shifted a little and Bella looked at her feet. Bella nervously giggled, and Edward couldn't help to the same – except it wasn't nervous. He longed to laugh with her; anything to keep him happy. He looked into her eyes once more.

"I don't want to sound too forward or weird, Isabella – I haven't done this in an extremely long time but – do you have a number I could reach you on? You know, just in case I need your advice on a cake again," he grinned.

Bella hesitated. She had never once in her life owned a cell phone – she didn't need to. She'd been asked for her number plenty of times before from some of the tools at school, but it just seemed like a big practical joke. However, Edward was clearly not joking. Her heart soared but came to a halt when she didn't have a number to give him. "Um, no I don't, sorry," she replied.

"Oh okay, I understand, I get it," he said, astounded and looking even more broken than usual. "First time I do this again and I get rejected – of course."

Bella didn't know what to say. She wanted to leap into his arms, wrap her own around his neck and tell him that she would never ever reject him. Instead, she thought of a practical way to save her backward impression and his dignity. "I have an email, though?"

Edward's eyes lit up again, and Bella smiled when happiness swept over his face. _It's the simple pleasures,_ she thought. "Here, I'll write it down for you if you go and see Alice, she's probably waiting for you."

Edward's eyes twinkled. "Okay, Isabella." _Oh that word on those lips._

He turned and went into the main bakery room to join Alice and pay for the cake that was no longer there. Bella walked into the tiny hallway just in front of Tanya's office and grabbed a piece of scrap paper and a pen that was lying on the table. She wrote her email address down; being careful to make sure her handwriting was well written enough for Edward to appreciate.

After writing out the fifth copy, she came into the bakery room, removing her apron in the process – it was too sticky. She folded up the piece of paper neatly in her hand and then walked over to the counter where Edward was waiting for her.

She handed him the note and he flashed her his incredible grin. He finished with Alice and then looked at Bella, still smiling. "I'll get in touch," he said. And with no further adieu, he turned and walked out of the shop, quite casually.

What Bella didn't know was that he was a mixture of emotions that couldn't be displayed on his face. He was happy, happy that he had met someone like Bella, someone who could make him happy with no intention and made him easily forget. He was intrigued, intrigued about what would happen next with this wondrous being he had just encountered. And last of all, he was sad, sad that he was leaving and turning away from the beautiful cake girl; _oh how he had loved touching her shoulder._

And what Edward didn't know was that Bella was feeling exactly the same.

**A/N: Please review, I will love you! And tweet me: bondgirrl xxx**


	5. The Seduction

**A/N: This chapter was quite hard for me to write as I despise Rose quite a bit, but it was fundamental to the story. I hope you enjoy it! (If that is the right word for this chapter…)**

**Love to B_D, K, CM, RA, RM, the rest on the forum, and the readers of course. You rock.**

**--**

There wasn't a time when Bella didn't think about him. She found herself daydreaming in class, reading more romance novels so that she would be better prepared with what to do and say when around him, and she checked her email more than twice a day. By Wednesday, however, there had been no message from him.

She'd checked her email in the morning before she went off to school and sighed when her inbox read 'No new messages'. The day at school was long and wearisome. She found herself irritated at those around her, and unusually bored in her English class. Thoughts of him no longer excited her in the way they had done a few days ago, as her memories grew fader and far less innovative.

She returned home from school and walked straight up to her bedroom. She used to enjoy this alone time as her father didn't return from work until around eight o'clock in the evening – which meant that she could spend time by herself without him suggesting a 'talk' or an 'activity' to get her to be more active and less secluded. Now she was lonely.

She slumped down onto her bed and a tear or two escaped her eyes. They weren't necessarily tears of sadness or grief; they were tears of frustration and despondence. She turned her computer on and while it was loading went downstairs to make herself a cup of coffee – she didn't like it, but it always made her father seem more alert and in a better mood.

When she returned upstairs, she looked at her loaded homepage. There, on the navigation bar beside her inbox was a '(1)' marked in bold. Her heart raced and her stomach moved. Could it be him? She placed her coffee to the side of her on her desk and slowly sat down, never taking her eyes off of the screen. She clicked on her inbox and saw who the message was from. Bella could even hear her heart beating. She clicked 'open message'.

**To:** Isabella Swan

**From:** Edward Cullen

**Subject:** Hello

**Message: **

Isabella, how are you?

I'm very sorry that I haven't been able to get in touch with you sooner – work has been crazy. This is the first break I have had all week! Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that obviously I will need to get Honey another cake soon seeing as her birthday is this coming Sunday; will you be working on Saturday again?

Edward

--

She couldn't help it. Her mouth crept into a smile as she read those words over and over in her head. She referred back to her romance novels and knew that she should wait a bit before replying. However, she ignored this advice and pressed reply almost right away.

Work had been a chore for Edward in the past week. He was a man of business and hard work and usually found himself loving to bury himself in all of his cases. He was a practicing solicitor and found himself engrossed in the people's lives in which their cases he took on. He barely made time for himself, but he kept most of his weekends free ever since the birth of his daughter. He knew many of his colleagues who had found no time to spend with their family, but he was determined that he wasn't going to be like that.

It wasn't as if he needed to work on weekends, anyway. Edward was a modest man, but he knew that money would never be an issue. He certainly had more than enough to support himself and his family, and he knew that the car he drove in was probably one of the most expensive in the whole town. His house was a luxury and had more than enough room, and his boat on Ozette Lake was an addition.

He loved living in Forks because of the community. He liked how friendly everyone seemed there and how self-effacing everyone was. Although his job meant that he had to commute to Seattle in the week, he was always happy when he returned to the green, small town that he adored calling home.

After finally finishing his dictation on the last case of the day, he realized he had finished earlier than usual and remembered another task he had been meaning to do all week: email Bella. He had kept her email address which was written ever so nicely on his desk in clear view everyday, so it would remind him to do it. He emailed her as soon as he could.

He wasn't sure as what to say at first; sorry for emailing you so late? Yes, that was good. Also slip in 'how are you?' somewhere in there, too – he wanted to see how she was doing. He knew he wanted to see her again, but every time that truth hit him, he felt a slight pang of 'this is wrong.' He wanted to punch something. Finally, he was starting to see something to give him hope something to look forward to besides his daughter, and it turns out that she is so young that she _could be_ his daughter. She still went to school, after all, and he'd finished college ten years ago. It was hugely frustrating.

But for some reason, that didn't completely stop him. If he was completely morally correct, then he would have ended the conversations there and then and wouldn't think anything of her ever again, other than her being a nice girl who worked at the bakery. But that wasn't humanely possible; he couldn't stop thinking about her. After all, the summer was approaching which would mean that she would graduate soon enough. Then, would he feel better? Probably not.

He typed out the email as soon as he could, apologizing for the delay and using the excuse of Honey's cake to see her again. It was a valid excuse, he thought. Honey still needed a cake. He smiled as he clicked the send button, but his stomach jolted and told him it was still wrong.

He waited for ten minutes, wondering if the reply would come and how soon. Would she be back from school, yet? Surely – it was nearly five o'clock. Or maybe she was annoyed that he didn't contact her sooner?

As he was about to switch his computer off, close the office and head on home, his inbox flashed and he rushed to the screen immediately. She had replied.

**To: **Edward Cullen

**From: **Isabella Swan

**Subject: **Re:Hello

**Message: **

Hi, Edward

I'm good thank you, how are you? Sorry your work is getting in your way. It is for me too as my finals are coming up. I will be working on Saturday still so hope to see you then.

Bella

--

It was short and sweet and Edward loved it. Her personality was refreshing; shy, poignant and sweet. A couple of his colleagues had persuaded Edward to go out with them to bring him back to life after the whole cheating jaunt, but he found that all of the women at the clubs he had gone to in Seattle repulsed him. He had originally put it down to not being able to look at a woman in the same way, but Isabella was different. She possessed a quality that he saw in no woman anymore: innocence.

He looked back into his old dating games and wondered whether he should wait a bit before he replied. _Fuck it,_ he thought and began typing straight away.

Bella stroked the rim of the coffee mug in anticipation of the next piece of interaction from Edward. She wasn't expecting such a quick response, and her stomach moved inside of her as she watched the 'unread message' sign appear on her screen. She decided to wait a little, to prolong the sequence of opening his email, and took a sip of her coffee.

She spat it out immediately, disgusted at the taste. How could anyone drink this? It was bitter and everything else disgusting. She took a mental note to herself – to never drink coffee again. Trying to ignore the unpleasantly astounding taste in her mouth, she clicked on Edward's message.

**To: Isabella Swan **

**From: **Edward Cullen

**Subject: **Re:Hello

**Message: **

Isabella,

Finals – wow! I remember those. Does that mean you're graduating soon, then? And I'm glad you're working on Saturday; I had fun last time I saw you.

So how was your day at school? Excuse my inquisitiveness, but after three days of constantly sitting in an office in Seattle can sometimes make you go a little bit crazy.

Edward

--

Bella smiled again at the end of his email, and repeated the phrase in her head _I'm glad you're working on Saturday; I had fun last time I saw you. _She even shivered when she smiled, and also bit her lip to contain her excitement. She wanted so badly to see him again, but for now she was happy with the emails. It meant that she could talk to him without blushing like a fool, just as she always did. It was progress; Bella welcomed progress.

~*~

The next few days for Edward were wearisome. Bella's emails were the only thing keeping Edward going. Work was hectic; traffic seemed to be slower to Seattle than usual, even in his new BMW 5-series. Rose was more than persistent and Honey had a summer cold. As Friday evening finally approached, Edward returned home and went straight into his daughter's room.

"Hey, Honey," he whispered as he lifted her out of her crib. "How are you feeling today, little one?"

"Dah-dee," she said delightfully. She had snot running down her face, but she was happy as ever to see her father. She reached up playfully and gripped his shirt for an embrace.

Edward smiled. "I've missed you, Honey."

She broke away from the hug and grinned at him. She then placed her finger on his nose and squealed. Edward blew her finger lightly and she threw her head back in laughter. Edward smiled at her adoringly as she continued to repeat this over and over until her eyes grew droopy. He loved how the simple pleasures in life delighted her. As she began to close her eyes more and her breathing grew heavier, Edward whispered her goodnight and laid her back in her crib. His heart swelled with adoration.

She was just coming up to two years old now, and how time had passed so quickly. It seemed like just yesterday that he was with Rose in the hospital, holding her hand whilst she delivered their first child. Edward remembered that day and remembered how he had never felt that much love in his life: for Rose, for Honey…for his _family._

He wanted to accept that everything was ruined; something was inclining him that way. However, after the past couple of weeks, after meeting Bella and witnessing Honey growing up, he felt that there was more hope for him; that hopefully one day he could escape the pain that was becoming so familiar to him. As he thought of Bella, a smile flashed across his face and he walked into his study to check his emails.

They had been emailing all week; whenever Edward had a break from seeing a client, he would email Bella. Whenever Bella woke up and when she got back from school, she would email Edward. It was a smart way of getting to know each other and it felt easy. It was innocent, but meaningful.

Edward found out that Bella aspired to be a writer and had just begun her first novel. He found out that she didn't live with her mom anymore and also didn't like to talk about her, either. He also found out that she couldn't wait to leave school and make something more of herself. He also found out that she liked Italian food, French cinema, and that she used to love walking on the beach with her Mom when they used to live in Phoenix, but since she had moved to Forks she couldn't do that anymore.

Bella found herself fascinated by Edward. She was overcome that he was a practicing lawyer in Seattle, but impressed that he preferred to stay and live where he grew up as he found most of his colleagues pretentious and arrogant. She knew that he loved coffee, adored his daughter, and had a secret taste for water sport as he owned a boat on Ozette Lake where he used to go every summer when he was a boy. He missed it there.

They were becoming friends, and they were both happy with that. They were both too apprehensive to make a move as there were many boundaries and obstacles within their relationship. There was the age gap, of course. Edward still had the thoughts that he could have been Bella's teenage father. There was Bella who was timorous and coy, and had never even had a proper friend let alone a boyfriend or love interest and Edward, who was still living with his estranged wife which was putting Edward through hell everyday. So friends it was.

However, it was easier said than done. It was hard not to take into account the underlying sexual tension that was clearly there between them. Edward knew what it was, but had to disguise it as her age and the fact she was still in school kept repeating in his mind every time he thought of her in that way. Bella was just scared as she was ignorant as to what the real reason was behind her pleasant low stomach pulses and throbs and heavy-beating heart, and dismissed it as her nerves playing up. Edward wanted to stay away because he was never one to be immoral, and the fear in Bella made her reluctant. Being friends was a lot easier.

Edward chuckled at Bella's next email about how her school day went: she was obviously not fond of her teacher Mr. Banner. He laughed at her tale of his show and the mysterious golden onion. He emailed her quickly wishing her goodnight and that he was looking forward to seeing her the next day, then shut down the computer and decided to call it a night. He had had a busy week and was noticeably tired.

He walked into his room, heading right towards his closet to get out his night clothes. He used to sleep naked, but these days he felt as if a simple white tee and grey tracksuit bottoms were more appropriate for night time; there was no point in being nude anymore.

His eyes were tired, blurry and hooded with fatigue. He slipped on the bottoms over his naked body and decided not to go with the tee that night. Summer was coming around and it was noticeably hotter, even in the rainy town of Forks. He turned to his bed ready to flake out.

"Hello, Edward."

To Edwards utmost surprise, there was Rosalie sprawled out across his bed wearing a black and red laced bustier and tiny black ruffled panties, stockings which looked incredible on her long toned legs and five-inched heels. She looked painfully delectable.

Edward was lost for words. For three months he had been, well, sexually deprived of course and Rosalie looked just mouthwatering. "Rose," he managed to whisper. "What the hell are you doing here?"

She stood up off from the bed and sidled up to Edward stealthily and seductively. She stood about a centimeter apart from him, their lips and bodies almost touching. Edward tried to remain composed and didn't move a muscle as Rose gently bit down on her lip. He used to love it when she did that, and she fucking knew it.

"Edward," she growled. "I don't want to fight anymore – you know I am sorry for what I did but I can't live like this anymore." Edward winced as she placed her finger delicately on his jaw line. Her eyes were filled with lust and she looked exquisite. She reminded him of how he once felt for her and his heart panged with hurt. But he still didn't move a muscle.

"I want you," she whispered, placing her other hand on his bare chest. Edward flinched, but he didn't stop her.

Rose looked into his eyes and he looked back, full of sadness, anger and still total fatigue. He didn't know what he was doing, or what she was doing. But she was reminding him of a happy place, and he was in a vulnerable position to comply with her.

She attached her lips to his, softly and hesitantly, as if she was expecting him to push her away tout suite. When she pulled back and realized that although he wasn't kissing her back, he still wasn't stopping her, and so she went in for a more passionate and lust-filled pull.

Being a very sexually charged man, Edward was having a tough time; a _really_ tough time. Rose was any guy's sexual fantasy, even his once upon a time, and there she was, after three months of them not having any sex at all, and Edward to busy or upset to please himself, his judgment of the situation was certainly clouded by his…_feral need_.

Painfully and reluctantly, he felt his erection grow through his pants. Rosalie gasped as she felt it against her thighs. She smiled deeply as she kissed him more fervently, despite Edward's lips not moving. "See," she whispered. "I knew you would want me some day, baby."

She wrapped her fingers in his hair as he remained impassive. She explored his body with her hands, cupping him arduously. He let out an incoherent moan as her hand came in contact with him. She pulled away for a second, and then removed her bustier revealing her fantastic breasts.

Edward turned into an animal. He wasn't thinking; he had no brain at this second. His body was fuelled with tension, lust and animalistic need. He wasn't thinking about his emotions, Honey, Bella or anything right now. He was thinking about sex. _Three months worth of sex._ He lunged at Rose.

He grabbed her breast in a rough and not playful way. He kneaded them for his own pleasure, and not hers. He was selfish, cruel and still completely broken. He ripped of her panties with one tug and snarled at his wife. She mistook his anger for sexual pleasure and moaned against him. He didn't want to kiss her. He wanted to enter her.

He tugged his pants down and Rose smiled sweetly with delight. "Oh God yes," she screamed, reveling in her success to win Edward over, knowing that this was definitely his weakness. He turned her over, and she knelt for him onto the bed obediently, moaning without a touch. "Fuck me Edward, yes; you know you want to baby."

Before he did anything, he abruptly stopped. He heard a baby's wail and suddenly his sanity returned to him. _I can't do this to Honey_, he thought and felt himself go weak_. Or myself._ He paused, looking down at the situation and wanted to cry. Rose turned around to see what the problem was and noticed that Edward was staring into nowhere, and was completely flaccid.

"Ignore her, Edward, come on, I want you to fuck me," Rose moaned in a voice that was just _not_ sexy to Edward anymore.

Edward pulled his pants back up and sat down on the side of the bed and buried his head into his hands. Rose went over to comfort him, still naked except for her heels and her stockings, he hand shaking as she reached out to Edward. Before Rose could touch him, Edward looked up and roared. _"FUCK!"_

Rose crawled away from him, suddenly scared. Edward looked at her, anger filling his body. He was angry at himself for letting his guard down, for letting himself go like that all for something he should have been able to control. He wanted to lash out at Rose for tempting him when he knew it was wrong, and so did she. He was angry at both of them for doing it to Honey, and he had had enough.

He tried to calm himself down, noticing how scared Rose had become and realizing that she had done the wrong thing. "Please," she whispered.

"Rose, this isn't happening. There is nothing between us anymore…I don't know what came over me then. I'm sorry," he exclaimed.

Rose was happy that he was finally talking to her, but timid at his words and his sincerity. "I thought we could work it out," she said.

"If you thought that, then this was certainly not the best option," Edward replied.

They paused for a bit, listening to see if Honey had simmered down. There was no longer a sound coming from her room, so they assumed she had fallen back asleep and Edward turned back to Rose.

"I'm sorry I haven't talked about this with you, Rose, it's just been too painful, it even is now," he whispered. _Especially now,_ He thought.

"I want to get back together," Rose said, obviously trying anything now her plan had failed.

"We can't," Edward said, his mouth wavering a little at the truth of those words.

"I know I made a mistake," Rose whispered quietly as she reminisced. "But I love you, Edward."

"I loved you," Edward whispered back.

A tear slipped out of Rosalie's eye as she looked to the side and then back at her hands. "Loved?"

"That's why we can't be together, Rose. I can't deal with what's happened while you're still here. That night when you… It replays over and over in my head every night like a broken record. I can't forgive you. I'm sorry, Rose, but…" Edward paused as he looked into her eyes, not wanting to hurt her but knowing it was for the best, to set it in stone, to sharpen the boundaries. "I don't love you anymore. And I want you gone."

Rose stuttered and began with "But I…" "But you…" "Edward…" "Have you found someone else?" but it was no use. Edward had made up his mind and he knew there would be no moving on at this rate if it continued; if Rose still thought they would make up, if Edward thought he would be fine as long as he had Honey – there was no use. They needed to take a step back into reality.

"Fine," Rose finally whispered, her sad tone replaced with fury. "Me and Honey will move in with my parents for a while, until you change your mind."

"Rose, I am not going to change my –"

"I don't want to hear it. You _will_. I am not a loser; I never lose. You will come back to me one day, Edward Cullen, whether you like it or not."

Edward began a sentence and Rose's eyes lit up with hope. "Honey will stay here while you go to your parents."

"_No_," she said. "I am her mother and she comes with me."

Edward replied sadly. "Until you can sort out a proper and permanent home for her, she stays in the marital home which is here. I'm sorry, Rose, but that is the _law._"

Rose pouted rudely at Edward and her face became flushed with anger. "Oh, yeah?" She was really angry now, intensely so. She looked as if she was going to whip out a gun and shoot Edward. "Well how are you going to look after her when you're not even here?"

"I'm here this weekend and that will give me time to sort out something."

"Oh really?" Rose questioned.

"Yes," Edward retorted.

She stood up quickly and heavily, picked up her bustier and slipped it back on. She picked up the ripped mess that was her panties and scowled at Edward in a menacing and bitter way. "Fine. I will leave for now. I will get Honey, and you will never see her again until you have me back!"

Edward shook his head, incredulous. He didn't know how much his wife was someone he didn't know her to be. She used to be caring, loving and considerate. She loved her husband and she loved her family; at least she wasn't all too willing to let that go. Then again, maybe she was when she fucked that fucking fat shit Emmett.

The truth was that she wasn't who she used to be, and it made it harder for Edward to still love her. They had to face the certainty of the situation, no matter how painful it was for the both of them.

It was finally over.

--

**A/N: I know it's a cliché but reviews ****do ****encourage me to write more. *persuasive smile*.**


	6. The Offering

**A/N: Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are Stephanie Meyers. The characterizations, plotline and Honey are all mine. **

**ENJOY!**

Since Rosalie had been gone, Edward had found that life seemed that much simpler. Even though it pained him to think that his wife had finally left after all this time, he knew it was for the best and the first step forward into sorting out the mess that he called his life.

It had only been one night since her departure and already Edward was feeling a little more contented. He could happily walk around the house without wincing or anticipating whether he would bump into the constant reminder as to why his life was falling apart.

One thing Edward noticed the following morning was that it was light when he woke up. He had been waking up before the sun had risen every morning for three months, but now he when he looked over at his alarm clock on his bedside table, the clock read 7.30 AM. He smiled as he threw his legs out of bed and made his way in the direction of his daughter's room where he could already hear shouts for her daddy.

That morning, he made a cappuccino and he played with Honey. He watched Saturday morning television with her, read her favourite stories, and he regarded his daughter as he came to terms with the fact that she would be turning two years old the next day. How life has gone by, he thought as he smiled at how happy Honey seemed. She was positively inspiring.

"Daddy," she whispered as she turned her head from the television.

"What is it, Honey?" Edward asked as he ruffled her hair.

She giggled and then rubbed her belly and licked her lips. Edward laughed at her. "Are you hungry, sugar?"

"Shooo-gaaarrrh!" She laughed delightfully and reached her hand out to her fathers as if expecting something. Suddenly, Edward had a brilliant idea.

"Honey, you know how much you love cake?" He said as he lifted her up and threw her into his arms. She giggled as she rubbed her nose against his. "Cake," she answered.

"Yes," he said. "Would you like to go to the cake shop and get some food? We can choose your birthday cake too, Honey! How about that?"

She nodded enthusiastically and Edward smiled back at her. "Let's get your shoes on, then. There's a very lovely girl there called Isabella and we like her, okay? So when you get there you have to say hello, okay?"

Honey nodded again and Edward put her down. "Let's go and get some cake, then!"

~*~

Bella was hopping with excitement. The day had gone well; she was picking up everything a lot easier than she expected in Crumbs, she was being more open with Alice and they ended up having proper conversation and banter – which was more than Bella could have hoped for. Even though it was still a struggle for her to speak to people, she found that with Alice it came more naturally and she felt almost… normal.

Maybe it was influenced by something else that had made her so happy, and his name was Edward Cullen. The emails they had been sending each other had brought them closer over the past couple of days. Even though it was a small form of contact, at least it was something, and this way was perfect for Bella. It meant that she could get to know the guy that she had such a fascination for, without making a fool of herself or plunging herself into being 'Flirto number two' as Alice had called it.

"How is everything going with him? Did you email?" Alice asked her.

"Yes, we have," she smiled coyly and then let out a bashful laugh.

She smiled back but then her face turned into a pursed look of thought. "You know he is still married though, right? With a kid? And he's practically double your age…"

She shifted on the ground and then looked at her feet; slightly embarrassed that even she was concerned about whom she was fraternizing with. "Yeah, I know. We're just friends, though."

Alice laughed. "Just _friends_? With _him_? I've noticed the way you guys act around each other – it's like you have some sort of supersonic…_ charge_ running through both of you that's just gonna explode when ever you're near each other."

Bella gasped at the truth of those words. "Well, there's nothing to it," she firmly stated, even though she was blatantly lying.

"Yeah, whatever," Alice answered with a sly grin. She looked around and out of the window. "Speak of the devil."

Bella turned around and her heart dropped into her stomach. There he was, dressed down in pale blue jeans, a navy blue YSL jumper over a white shirt. His hair was still ruffled up in a messy way which, although it should have looked completely out of place, looked a fantastic contrast to his smart attire. It was odd just how perfect he seemed. However, there was one accessory that although was stunning even next to him, made her feel a little bit unsure.

He had brought his child with him. Honey, if she remembered correctly. She was cute for sure – bouncy blonde curls hanging above her shoulder, big eyes (probably her father's sharp green) and her smile was just so sunny she couldn't help but smile too as she watched the two walk into the shop.

"Hello," he said in his usual husky voice.

She replied in her customary manner: fallen apart and totally smitten, "Hi again, Edward." And for some strange and utterly atypical reason, she leaned over the counter to see the little girl and smiled at her. "You must be little Honey."

She squealed at the idea of someone knowing her name. She looked at her father and he nodded at her. "Hello, 'Sbella," she grinned.

She squealed inside back when she noticed that he must have told his daughter her name. What did it mean? Was she suddenly important enough to meet his daughter? _No, of course not._ She was just the girl who worked in the cake shop and he thought it would be appropriate to tell his daughter the name of the girl who served him because he happened to know it. However, was it suddenly normal to email the cake girl? She hoped not.

"Have you come to choose another cake?" She asked confidently.

"Cake!" Honey squealed and Edward laughed at her, picked her up and rested her in his strong arms. "Yes, we have Isabella, and well, I wanted to see you again," he said and he bit his lip suddenly, as if he regretted what he said or was judging in his head what her reaction would be.

Bella had had a good day already, and there was no reason to be her usual stuttering self, despite how he made her feel when he was around. She agreed that perhaps the emails had helped her to feel a little more ease around him, too. "Great," she said with an almost convinced smile. "I'm glad you did."

Edward smiled at her with recognisable delight. They began to stare gormlessly at each other just like they were starting to make a habit of. Images of touching her shoulder became apparent in his mind and in her mind too, as they looked on at each other. It was just like they had some sort of telepathic connection.

Abruptly, they heard a cough from Alice standing behind them which broke their conversation. "Oh, I'm sorry!" She exclaimed and then looked at him with a bit less concentration. "Would you like to choose another cake then?"

"Yes, we'd love to, wouldn't we, Honey?" He said to his daughter as she nodded eagerly. Suddenly, his phone rang; a melody Bella noticed as Debussy and her insides almost melted. They hadn't talked about music yet and he didn't know that Debussy was her favourite composer of all times. She listened to his compositions religiously whenever she felt a little more down than usual; they calmed her down and put her at ease. Even this ringtone of her favourite Clair De Lune was making her feel congenial.

"Sorry, I've got to take this – its work," He said as the phone continued to ring. "Honey, you stay by the counter and Isabella will show you the cakes that you can choose for your birthday tomorrow, okay? You can have which ever one you want." He then winked at her and she nodded as he stepped over to the corner of the cake shop to take his phone call. Bella suddenly became curious – was it his wife? Her insides squeezed a bit, evoking a completely new emotion to her. Was this what they called… _jealousy_?

Her focus then returned to the eager little customer Bella could barely make out standing the other side of the counter. She decided on instinct that she could not leave a little girl on her own over there, so she crossed the barrier that she had only done once for another customer, and accompanied his daughter. "Do you see any you like, Honey?" She asked her. She felt free from anxiety talking to this little girl; she had always been able to talk to younger children as they never seemed to pass judgement. They were as ignorant as they were to believe that she was just a normal girl – not the town recluse that everyone stared at when she was forced out by her father.

Honey's brow furrowed and Bella noticed a hint of her father's expression in her face, and she felt her heart swell. Honey looked each cake individually and then suddenly smiled. Bella found that she laughed and then asked "You've found one, then?"

Honey looked at her and grinned, and then she pointed fervently at one of the cakes that she had evidently chosen. "That one," she answered.

Bella looked at the cake she had chosen and smiled inside – it was the modest elephant style that Bella had picked for Edward initially. She felt a little proud as if she knew the little girl already – their chemistry was almost as fantastic as her and her fathers. "Excellent choice," she exclaimed. "I'll just go and put it in a box for you and then Daddy can pay for it, okay?"

"Yes," Honey answered as Bella began to go back behind the counter. Honey looked at her surroundings noticing that no one was there and her smile turned upside down. Out of choice, she reached up for Bella, her fingers trying to grab her. Bella didn't know what to do, and when Honey's bottom lip started to quaver she acted on impulse.

"Hey!" Bella said with poise. "How about we give you a treat and you can come behind the counter with me?"

Honey smiled and continued to reach out for Bella. Bella felt a little bit uneasy about the contact she was about to come in to. She looked into Honeys eyes as she cruised closer to her, and saw the familiar emerald colour and she knew that she would have to get used to if it if she ever wanted to come into contact with her father like this… Bella shook her head as if to empty her thoughts from such irrational deliberations.

She held her hand out for Honey to take it, but instead she ran up to Bella and demanded that she would need to be picked up. She tugged at Bella's apron and then she knew that she had no choice but to take her into her arms. She looked over at Edward to see if he was watching, but he seemed so engrossed in his phone conversation, that he had sat down in one of the seats with his head in his hands. Bella didn't want to make it worse and ignore the welfare of his child just because she was scared of touching people. So she picked her up.

She wasn't as strong as Edward, so left Honey to rest on her hip and brought her around the side of the counter. Alice looked over at Bella and rolled her eyes, but continued to serve her customer. Honey turned to Bella while in her arms and pressed a finger to her nose. Bella jokingly frowned and then Honey laughed and wrapped her arms around Bella, her fingers gripping a little too tightly to her neck. Bella closed her eyes trying to endure the pain.

"I love you, 'Sbella," Honey explained and although slightly awkward, Bella smiled in appreciation.

"Hey, is that Honey Cullen?" A woman called from over the counter.

Bella was suddenly slightly alarmed by the direct conversation coming from this stranger. She didn't know what to say to the woman; was it her place to say who the child was? She hesitated a little as Honey nuzzled into Bella's neck and looked at the woman and then she smiled.

"I'm sorry," the woman explained. "I'm her play school supervisor, Irina."

"'Rina," Honey explained and then waved her hand at the woman.

"Hello, Honey!" The woman waved back, and then she returned her gaze back. "So are you like her relative or something?"

"Oh no," Bella tried to explain. "I'm just…"

But then someone cut her off. "She's a friend," Edward interrupted.

Bella smiled back at the woman as she looked Bella up and down as if she was judging the situation; it was as if she didn't believe what Edward had said.

"Where is Rose?" Irina asked, enquiringly.

Edward's smile vanished from his face. "She's gone to visit her parents for a few days," he replied, trying to keep his expression impassive.

"Right," the woman said as she looked at Bella again; Bella nervously looking around her, as if the situation couldn't become anymore tactless. "Goodbye, Mr. Cullen," she whispered and then left the cake shop.

"That's Honey's play school teacher – and one of Rosalie's friends," Edward explained. "I'm sorry you had to experience that." He put his hand on the back of his head as if he were ashamed, ran his hand through his hair and looked at Bella with an apologetic smile. Fortunately for Edward, his crooked smile melted Bella every time.

"That's fine, Edward," she explained. "Honey picked out a cake."

"Great," he said with uncertainty and then looked at his daughter as she reached out for him. Bella passed her over and she felt Edward's hand brush against her ribcage just below her breast. Her heart rate momentarily heightened rapidly and she hoped that Edward couldn't see her blushing; although he was probably used to it by now.

She noticed something as she stared at him and into his eyes. For a moment that morning, she noticed a change in his eyes; as if they were just a little bit less poignant than usual and it made her happy, too. However, the pained look was back and now that Edward had officially referred to Bella as a friend, maybe she could talk to him about it.

"What's wrong, Edward?" She asked, gulping as she spoke off her own accord.

He was a little shocked to hear her start a conversation, but exceptionally pleased nevertheless.

"Ah, a client just called. There's been an emergency at his place regarding his court case and he wants me to get there tonight," he sighed.

"And Rose isn't here to look after Honey?" Bella asked. As always, she was especially observant.

"Yeah, pretty much. It's trying – I can't just leave Honey alone. My parents live too far away and it's too late notice to find a babysitter…" He put his head into his hands and he frowned in frustration.

"'Sbella," Honey said with a smile, pointing to Bella just as impatiently as she had been pointing out her cake.

Bella's ears perked up and she looked alert. _Her?_ Babysitting for _Edward?_ Sure, she seemed to get on with Honey very well, and she definitely wanted to help Edward out in anyway she could – but going to his house and looking after his child? Would that be moving too fast? She knew she would feel especially vulnerable being in the house that the man she lusted after so much shared with his wife and child.

"Are you free? Isabella?" He asked, plea in his eye; in his face – in his whole expression. It would be a challenge for Bella, but she felt as if she couldn't bear to see the pained look on his face anymore and she remembered how happy she had felt when he seemed so happy this morning.

"Yes, I can look after Honey," Bella replied.

Edward's brilliant green eyes glinted, and Bella smiled herself. "That's fantastic, Bella. You don't know how much this means to me… I owe you my life," he laughed as he grabbed one of her shoulders gently. Bella felt the electric current rush through her, but it was becoming more of a pleasure than a worrying discomfort. Memories were enforced on her, as in turn they were enforced on Edward of dropping the cake and then cleaning it off afterwards.

Edward smiled expectedly and then flashed his grin at Bella and she thawed.

"I will email the details when I get home, you know, where to find my house. Unless you want me to pick you up? Do you drive?"

"Yeah I can drive," Bella explained.

"Actually, the kindest thing I can do is give you a lift there, at least. My house is very secluded – most people can't even find it!"

"Okay, that will be great, Edward," Bella replied with a beam.

As Edward went to the till and paid for Honey's cake, Bella smiled to herself as she felt a pang of excitement hit her as she realized that she would be visiting Edward's house that night. Okay, so he wasn't going to be there, but still… it was something stimulating. In fact, it would be the first place she would be going in her own free will – no one forcing her, not even her father. This was certainly a step forward – her life was finally moving. Not to mention, she was already captivated with Honey and certainly her father.

Edward smiled at her before he left the shop and thanked Bella again, saying he would be eternally grateful. She told him that it was no problem and she would be happy to help him out. They experienced their familiar stare again, and as Bella felt her lower regions burn the proverbial burn, her nerves came back to her and she wondered how she was going to be able to survive that night.

**A/N: How did you find it? Next chapter: Bella babysits for Honey and Edward might just come home slightly earlier than anticipated… Oh, and FYI, the bit about Irina was significant… so don't forget it! Any guesses on how she will feature?**

**Please review if you get the time, even if it's just a couple of words. I love to know what my readers are thinking!**

**The next update should be quite soon as this one leaves off quite well and I am quite eager to write it. You may even get another chapter in a couple of days…**


	7. The Babysitter

After she had finished work that day, Bella returned home as soon as possible. She reached for the key under the pot of freesias outside of her front door and unlocked it quickly. She was still apprehensive about staying outside of the house for more time than she needed; people across the road still liked to stare. It was considerate that her neighbours and her father's friends cared enough to look out for her, but she had never liked attention – even before it all happened.

It was two o'clock in the afternoon and for a change, it was a sunny day. As summer was approaching, she felt the air begin to moisten and heat up. She had hated summer for the past twelve years – it had been a constant reminder of just how happy everyone was except for her; everyone was content in the summer. Also, she didn't like the heat – it meant that she couldn't concentrate. However, as she looked outside of her window and noticed the clear blue skies, she realized that she didn't actually feel too bad. She decided that her new life meant that she was beginning to have different outlooks on things and she embraced that.

Bella rushed to her computer immediately and waited for the machine to boot. She didn't get a coffee this time; instead she went downstairs and made herself a berry smoothie. The sweet flavours made her feel all gooey inside – and even more compelled to be excited about babysitting that evening.

Sure enough, as soon as she opened her emails there was an unread message waiting for her. She got that familiar pull inside of her stomach as she looked on the sender's name. She clicked 'open' and her heart raced instantaneously.

**To:** Isabella Swan

**From:** Edward Cullen

**Subject:** Babysitting

**Message: **

Hi Isabella,

Just emailing to let you know the details of tonight. I have to be in Port Angeles for about nine o'clock, so I am planning to leave at around eight. If you would like, I can pick you up at about six thirty and have dinner for you? Please let me know as soon as you get back from work. It will be nice to finally talk to you without a spilt cake or a counter between us.

Edward

--

She smiled to herself as she read his last sentence. Of course, she was excited about seeing him without Alice around or anything else that was holding them back. However, she was also exceedingly nervous. There was still a part of her, despite how much progress she was making in the real world, which feared contact and communication – especially now that she would be alone with him. On the other hand, she felt a draw to this man that she simply couldn't just ignore. She would have to endure the shyness and do her best to help him in every way that she could.

**To:** Edward Cullen

**From:** Isabella Swan

**Subject:** Re: Babysitting

**Message:**

Hey Edward,

The details sound great. I assume you know where I live as it is the chief of police's house (you could probably google it) but I will be outside at six thirty. I'm looking forward to it. See you then.

Bella

--

As soon as she had pressed 'send' she left her computer as quickly as she could – she didn't want to get over-excite herself. Plus, she only had four hours to compose and prepare herself for the night ahead.

As she started her way down the stairs, she heard a door slam and she jumped out of her skin. She was obviously on edge this afternoon and she needed to calm herself down. Also, there was now the task of explaining to her father where she was going that night, since he had obviously returned home. She wasn't sure how he would take it.

"Why, Bella! That's absolutely wonderful!" Charlie threw his strong arms around Bella as soon as she had told him. "I knew you would finally settle in to reality!"

"Thanks, Dad," Bella smiled.

"The Cullens are a very nice family, too. That Edward Cullen – he's an excellent lawyer. He works in Seattle doesn't he? He has far too much success to still be living here – God knows how he does it. How did you meet him?"

Bella froze; she was a little bit embarrassed of revealing how she met the man she lusted so much after to her father. She decided to keep it sweet and simple. "I served him once at the bakery, Dad. They needed a babysitter tonight because Mr. Cullen's got some work thing so I said I would do it. You know, I'm trying to step out, Daddy," she nervously stuttered, trying not to let it slip that she found Mr. Cullen particularly attractive.

"Ah right, well that's very good of you, my girl. I heard their family are going through many troubles at the moment," he told her.

"Oh," Bella said. It wasn't as if she knew the details, but she did know how broken Edward seemed. She wanted to know what happened from her father, but thankfully found it too improper and intruding to ask about Edward's private life. If she needed to know, she was sure that Edward would tell her at some point. For now, all he seemed to talk about was comparing his high school years to hers, his stressful job and of course his cute little child Honey. He obviously didn't want to burden Bella with all the other stuff going on in his life.

"Yeah, something to do with his wife," Charlie began. "I don't know exactly – that family are very secretive. Nice, mind you, but very…secluded. Their house is in the middle of nowhere. You're not driving there, are you Bella?"

"No," she said. "Edward is picking me up at six thirty."

Charlie's brow furrowed. "Right, okay. Is he bringing you back? Because I'm watching the game at Harry's in La Push tonight, okay?"

"Yes, he's bringing me back," Bella laughed and then leant over to kiss Charlie on the forehead. "Don't worry about me. I'm nearly eighteen soon, anyway."

"So you keep reminding me, Bella," Charlie sighed. "It's weird to think that you're almost an adult. I still think of you as being my little girl."

Bella ruffled his hair playfully. He was the only one she could be so tactile with at ease. "I'm still your little girl for a couple of weeks… _old man_."

"Hey, cheeky! I know, I know. It's just your graduations coming up, too," Charlie sighed. "I wish you didn't have to grow up."

Bella smiled. "Me neither. Anyway, I don't know why you're so worried. I'm not even going to college."

Charlie looked at Bella and she knew that she had hit a nerve. Most of the kids at her school had applied to college except for her. She didn't want to go – she could barely cope around Forks, let alone venturing out into the abyss… by going to college. She was too far behind socially, and she didn't know if she would be able to cope by going that year. She had told her father that she would take a year or two out and then maybe consider going after then. After all, her grades were good enough to go to an Ivy League school. However, she just didn't want to leave Forks yet.

"I know, Bella," Charlie responded. "I'm still hoping though."

She wasn't exactly sure of what she was going to be doing instead, though. She hoped to write a novel in that time. After all, writing was her passion and if she wanted to be anything in life, she wanted to be an author. You didn't have to be around other people if you were an author, and you could make up your own world and live in that.

Yes, it was a little irrational and a little bit of a stupid deliberation, however, it was what Bella most desired at that point when she made the decision not to go to college and despite her revelation of meeting Edward and working in the bakery, that choice still remained.

"I'm going to have a shower, Dad," Bella explained before turning to walk back up the stairs.

"Okay," Charlie replied. "Do you want me to do macaroni, tonight?"

"I don't need anything to eat tonight," Bella answered. "Edward said he would have something for me."

"Oh," Charlie said and thought intently as to why she had begun to call him by his first name. He returned his gaze to Bella's. "Well that was nice of him. See you in a bit," he smiled.

"Okay, Dad," Bella said and then retreated back upstairs to have a shower.

Charlie thought for a minute. It wasn't an urgent thought, but it seemed weird that Bella, after all of these years, seemed so happy at going to the Cullen's house to babysit for their daughter.

People had asked Charlie if Bella could babysit for their children many times, but she had refused and had gone all melancholy every time he asked her to do so. It wasn't as if she didn't like children, no. In fact, when Charlie's friends had been over and brought their young children with them, like Harry's grandson Seth, Bella had played happily with them. He just didn't get it. Sometimes it upset him how he couldn't really get through to his daughter.

It had been hard on both of them since Renee had died, but it had been especially difficult for Bella. He knew why, and it pained him every time he thought about it. He wanted to cry when he thought about the night it all happened – not just for the death of his wife, but the trauma his daughter was going through. Her life had been tainted, and in a way, it was his fault and he hated himself for that. He would do whatever it took to make Bella happy, so he decided to sit back and let her make her own decisions about how fast she would move on from the incident.

And now it seemed that she was going to. It was a little strange that Mr. Cullen was doing all these nice things for Bella as they didn't even know each other. But Charlie just respected Bella enough now to make her own decisions, and he hoped that her intentions were good.

~*~

After Bella had finished her shower, spent hours deciding what she was going to wear and had blow-dried her hair, she slumped down onto her bed. She looked at her watch which read five o'clock. There wasn't a lot of time left, but she seemed to be physically ready. However, her nerves were creeping up again and she decided to resort to something she often did to calm her down and when she needed some sort of advice. She turned on the Debussy CD her mum had gotten her for her fifth birthday and got out some of her trashy romance novels.

She had read a story about a babysitter before, however she didn't believe that her babysitting trip would be quite similar. This girl had been so confident and wore clothes that covered fewer things up than Bella's underwear. The things that happened in those books made Bella blush, but not necessarily in a bad way. She knew about sex, for sure - there had been plenty of lessons on Sex Education where the others in the class had snickered and muttered things like 'done that already'. Bella was embarrassed and uneasy in those classes, but they still definitely intrigued her.

Bella wasn't a _complete_ sad case, despite how she came across. She had had a lot of fantasies, but no experience to make them seem real enough. They were more of love fantasies than sexual ones – but Bella was sure that one day someone might make them a little bit more real. However, Edward was just her friend and there hadn't been a babysitting fantasy… yet. Bella felt ashamed that she had been even thinking about sexual deliberations when all she was doing was going to the marital home of a thirty two year old man and his little daughter.

She decided to read a different type of book, one that was sort of similar to her situation. It was called Love Lessons and it was about a fourteen year old girl who fell for her teacher. It wasn't about sex because thankfully, none of that happened, but it was about learning to deal with foolish feeling – which was certainly happening to Bella.

Before she knew it, it was quarter past six. She sat up from her bed and realized she must have fallen asleep. Her hair was no longer sleek and smooth, but ruffled and big. Her make up was a little smudged, but she did her best to sort it out. At least her clothes weren't dirty and her teeth were clean. As the clock approached twenty past, the nerves were suddenly taking over.

She looked outside to see that Edward hadn't arrived yet, but her father had already left. She must have fallen asleep because she didn't hear him say goodbye. As Bella got her things together, a small bag with some school work and another romance novel in, she began to make her way downstairs to wait for Edward.

She was nervous – completely petrified. Not of Edward, or even the situation, in fact. She was scared of herself or how she would react to him and his home surroundings.

After a little while, Bella heard the door knock and her stomach almost lurched. Oh God, she thought to herself. Am I really going to throw up? She hoped not and walked timidly to the door to open it. When she did, she really did nearly upchuck.

How was it that he got even more stunning every time she saw him? Obviously dressed for work, in a smart, grey suit with a navy blue and white striped tie, he looked positively…_delicious_ there standing in front of Bella. She had to stifle as gasp as he continued to kill her even further with his smile.

"Hello, Isabella," he managed to whisper after their stare came back to them.

Edward, also, was having a little bit of trouble taking in Bella's appearance. It was the first time he had seen her out of her black polo shirt and her pink Crumbs apron. Of course, he knew she was beautiful as soon as he laid eyes on her when he walked into the bakery a week ago.

However, this time she looked absolutely sublime. She was wearing casual low riding jeans that fitted snugly over her small yet strong legs and showed of her curves subtly, yet still obviously to Edward. She was wearing a simple cream knitted t-shirt that although wasn't low cut, was slightly lower than her usual buttoned up polo shirt he was used to. It had a little bow on the chest and that was where Edward found his gaze turning to as the most wondrous part of her body screamed at him.

_Stop!_ He cursed himself as he stared at her. He brought his gaze back into her eyes, which, despite her breasts, were his favourite part. Her hair was pleasantly messy, like she had messed it up in all the right places on purpose. She looked divine. However, Edward had to avert his thoughts as unfortunately, to him, they seemed too immoral. She was still a little girl, after all.

"You ready to go?" He asked.

"Yes," she gulped as his green eyes captivated her. She was a little jealous of how happy they seemed that afternoon. The poignant look was fading, and it sort of made her happy too.

Bella looked on at Edward's car as he opened the door for her._ He must be beyond rich,_ she thought. She had never seen anyone in Forks with a car like that.

As she sat down, his car smelt divine. It smelt manly, spicy, sweet and everything great put in to one. This must have been his scent, who else's? She breathed in and smiled as just his smell made her feel affable.

"'Sbella!" A voice sounded from the back seat that brought Bella out of her reverie. She instantly felt more at ease knowing that Honey was in the car with them and she turned around and smiled at her.

"Hello again, Honey!" Bella said and then stuck her tongue out at her.

Honey laughed delightfully and reciprocated Bella's actions. Edward looked at both of the two girls and laughed at them. "Hey, you two. Manners in my car please!" He said jokingly and then put his key into the ignition. "Let's go and eat. I bet you're both starving!"

Bella agreed with him and then sat back into the leather seat filled with Edward's musk and for some sort of miraculous reason, she didn't feel completely nervous. Obviously, her nerves were still there, but they weren't half as bad as she thought they would be. It almost felt as if she… belonged in the car. It would have probably been too far to say that she felt like family, but she didn't feel out of place like she usually did. For once, she felt like she had a purpose.

For the remainder of the car journey which only took about ten minutes, the conversation was comfortable. In fact, it felt a lot like their emails and Bella was very contented with that. She happily spoke to Honey like she had commonly done with younger children, and her conversation wasn't completely awkward with Edward. There was a lot more fluidity in their conversation, but perhaps it was because there wasn't a chance of touching in the car. On the other hand, she could still feel the prominent electric current that always ignited every time they were near each other.

Sometimes, she would catch Edward occasionally glancing at her. She would pretend that she hadn't noticed although her more panoramic vision told her otherwise. She smiled when he did so, but her vision didn't tell her if he had smiled back.

As they drove into the drive of Edward's house, Bella gasped. She stepped out of the car and looked up in awe…_this _was their house?

"Do you like it?" Edward asked, apprehensive as to what Bella would think of his house and his life. So far, all she knew about him was how he acted in the bakery and over the emails. This would be him in his own habitat, and he desperately wanted to impress, despite the amount of times that his conscience told him that he shouldn't be so hung up on a seventeen girl. However, they were friends. _Just friends._

"Um, yes!" Bella said, innovative enthusiasm tinting her voice. "It's so…beautiful. And big!" She explained.

It wasn't just beautiful and big. It was fantastic, brilliant, exquisite, and implausible; just stunning… it was the most perfect house Bella had ever seen. It was old fashioned, but still looked clean and modern. The architect had done a magnificent job. It was built of white stone with dark brown beams that made it look almost like a British Tudor house. It was breathtaking.

"I designed it," Edward explained and Bella surprisingly found that she liked Edward even more. "I was brought up in Forks and after we moved away when I was fifteen, our house got knocked down and was replaced with the Newton's Sport Shop and a few others. I knew that I always wanted to return here once I had my own family. Most of the houses around here didn't remind me of my old one, so I built a replica myself – just bigger and better." He grinned, obviously proud of his work.

"You've done an amazing job," Bella replied looking up at the house repeatedly. Suddenly, she felt a hand grab hers and she almost jumped out of her skin. Luckily, it wasn't Edward's or otherwise she would have fainted. It was Honey's and Bella smiled as she took the hand welcomingly.

Edward was in awe. He knew that Honey was a friendly little girl – he had always wanted to bring her up to be like that. However, she had never been this tactile or excited about anyone else before. Perhaps Bella had that effect on everyone – but he was happy to share his excitement with his daughter. It made him feel all warm inside that Honey was accepting her into their home. Edward blinked harshly. _As a friend!_ He reminded himself, and then led the two girls inside and decided to give Bella a tour of the house.

The house was just as beautiful on the inside, of course. Again, it had that theme of appearing old-fashioned but with a modern twist. Most of the walls were painted white so that it contrasted with the beams. The kitchen was a monstrosity – in a good way. Bella thought her mom would have loved it – it was absolutely huge. The living room was just as big. It had large red sofas and two brown love seats with red cushions which seemed to be antiques. The house was just wonderful – all of it. Edward even showed Bella his bedroom, but just a quick glance of the door as he didn't want to scare Bella off and be like "Hey, Isabella, I know you're seventeen and still go to school but uh, this is my bedroom and you can, uh, come here whenever you want." That would have been _foolish._

Bella noticed he had missed out one of the rooms upstairs, and she was curious as to what it was. Honey soon informed her. "Mummy!" She said as she pointed to the room. Edward sighed and then realized that he would have to tell Bella the situation that they were in. It would only be right and just.

"Yeah, that's Rosalie, my wife's room," he explained putting a hand through his hair.

"Oh," Bella replied. "Do you not sleep in the same room?" she asked and then the look on Edward's face suggested that she had taken a step too far.

"Sorry," she whispered and then blushed like crazy. _Crap!_ She thought. _Why did I say that?_

"It's okay, Isabella. As of recently, well, of three months really, Rose and I are separated. She's temporarily moved out at the moment which is why I needed you to look after Honey, tonight," he whispered, just so Honey couldn't hear him.

"Oh," Bella replied. She didn't really have a lot of say into the matter, but she nodded as if she understood. That's all Edward needed from her. Not her approval, but recognition that he wasn't a married man fooling around with her. He was single and professional and he certainly didn't mess around with anyone.

"Right, well, dinner should be on the table soon. I'll just go and serve it up. Do you like macaroni? Shit, I should have asked you before."

"I love macaroni, Edward," Bella assured him. He smiled at her gratefully and they walked downstairs.

After dinner was finished and more delightful conversation was held, Edward decided that he needed to get to work, much to Bella's disappointment. The dinner had been great – Bella and Edward had sat opposite each other with Honey at their side. Bella sort of felt like…they were family.

"Right, so I've showed you where everything is. Do you need anything else? Help yourself to any food, we have cable, there are several computers in the house you can use, and Honey should probably be asleep in about half an hour," Edward explained.

He felt a little bit nervous leaving Honey with Bella. What if they suddenly didn't like each other? He couldn't bear it. He had finally let a woman, or a girl he guessed, into his life, into his house and he couldn't bear it going wrong. It was odd how nervous he was around Bella, like he was expecting her to suddenly turn around and be like "What the hell are you doing, perv? It's obviously you like me as you almost get wood every time I bite my lip."

But she didn't. There was no way Bella was like that and for that, Edward was grateful. He would try and get any sexual images of her out of his head as soon as he could. Even though the age of consent was sixteen in the Washington state, he still felt bad that some of his thoughts elsewhere may be considered legal. Of course, Edward had his own opinions on criminals, working with them all the time. All he knew was that he didn't want to be one of them, despite how much his body wanted him to.

After he left Bella inside, his hand lingered on the handle. He sort of wanted to spend the evening with Bella and Honey – his current two most favourite people. Sorrow swept over him as he realized that it used to be _Rose_ and Honey. _Things change,_ Edward thought, and then began to drive to Port Angeles.

Bella was having great fun being with Honey. Her company was easy to be around and that was really vital for Bella. They watched Hannah Montana together and Honey told Bella that she looked like Miley. Honey dragged Bella to her room and pulled out all of her dolls including her mommy's favourite. A little pain flushed through Bella every time Rosalie was mentioned. Bella didn't know what happened, but she already didn't like that woman much.

After almost an hour of playing, Honey began to fall sleepy. After demanding a hug from Bella, she fell asleep in her arms. Bella was shocked as to how embracing she had been, especially after her reaction to it at the bakery. Now that they were alone, Bella had let all her guard down and let Honey sleep in her arms. She even stroked her hair as she slept, and Bella smiled to herself at how much affection she had for this child already. A tear slipped out of her eye as she felt maternal love for the child and she remembered her own mother.

She put Honey in her crib and stayed in her room for fifteen minutes to make sure that she was sound asleep. Afterwards, Bella didn't know what to do so she sat on Edward's couch and brought out one of her romance novels. She didn't really feel like doing much school work – she was too tired.

When she got to the bedroom scene, Bella felt especially wistful. _As he led her to his bedroom..._ she read. _I wonder what Edward's bedroom is really like?_ She pondered. She sat up and looked all around her at the eerily silent house. Then, a thought crossed her mind.

_No, Bella. You cannot just go into his room. That is beyond stalker-ish_, her subconscious told her. But she was deadly curious. Off their own accord, Bella's feet picked themselves up from the couch and placed themselves on the floor. She stood up and gulped. _Just a peek_, she told herself.

She remembered that his room was on the ground floor, and she tip-toed to it quietly. As she found the closed door, she pushed it open slightly and it creaked. The sound made her jump a little, but she moved back to the door and pushed it again so that it was fully open.

It wasn't as Bella expected it to be, surprisingly. It was plain white and matched the beams like the rest of the house, but that was all that there was to it. The sheets of the bed were clean and white and so was everything else in the room. It was sort of… _sad._ Had Edward really resorted to this after separating his wife? She wanted to cry for him. There were no pictures anywhere, nothing.

Bella began to yawn as her day began to creep up on her. Work had made her more tired and the previous week she had gone to bed at seven on Saturday night so it was tiring for her to stay up later. She decided to sit on Edward's bed and imagine what it was like to be him, lying in that room every night, all alone and broken.

She leant back and laid her head on the pillow, trying to picture what Edward would be thinking as he lay there. Maybe he missed his wife, or he would be thinking about his daughter or even…Bella. No, that wouldn't be possible. She was just the cake girl…and now the babysitter. Maybe he did think of her, but not in the way that she wanted him to. He knew her age, and she knew that he was righteous enough to respect that she was only seventeen.

She leant over to his bedside cabinet and noticed how clean and empty it was. There wasn't even a lamp or a book there. It was just an empty room. Surely, there was something in here that told her about him? She leant down and opened one of the draws, and then she saw it.

It was a photograph of him and Rosalie. They looked…remarkably _happy._ The pain hit Bella again. It _must_ have been jealousy – she had read about it often enough and she was suffering the exact same symptoms. It pained her to see how happy Edward had used to be and now how ripped apart he had been. She hated Rosalie for whatever she had done to her Edward. _Her Edward,_ she liked the sound of that. But she shook her head, it was wrong to think of him in that way. He was a friend. _Just_ a friend.

She set the photo back on the table as she couldn't bear to look at it for any longer. She lay back on the bed again, rested her hands on her stomach and looked up to the ceiling. She felt just as lonely as she imagined Edward would, lying in this bed. In fact, a fantasy was finally coming apparent to her just as she had hoped. It was just a little awkward that it came to her on Edward's bed.

She imagined that he was there with her, lying on his bed. She imagined that the room wasn't so white, but that they had decorated the room themselves and had just put Honey to bed and were both tired themselves. She pictured him lying by her side as she put her hand out and their fingers intertwined. Bella thought of this image and smiled as without realizing, she began to drift off…

Suddenly, Bella was woken up by a creak of a door. She sat up immediately and looked around, her hair all ruffled from the sleep and her eyes bleary with fatigue. She looked over by the door, and there was Edward, looking at her with confused and disappointed eyes.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

--

**A/N: Please please please review! Love ya, guys.**


	8. The Confession

**A/N: You lucky things – I was on a writing whim today and I decided to update quickly again! And also you naughty things – many of you wanted there to be lemons in this chap but jeez… Bella's a recluse! She can't even touch Edward's hand let alone his… anyway; they do make a lot of physical progress in this chapter, regardless. So, please enjoy…**

**--**

The work in Port Angeles was one of nothing major – just a client over-worrying about something – so luckily Edward had been able to return home earlier than anticipated. Maybe this would mean that he could let Bella get home early as she might have been tired from work, or maybe he could let her stay a little longer and they could talk some more. Either way, it was nice to come home.

It was pitch black when he returned, but it was only about ten o'clock at night. He wondered what Bella might have been doing. In his head, she was on the couch at home, waiting for him to return…_not wearing much_. The vision of Bella naked was enough for him to lose a little concentration driving. As it turned out, his sexual frustration was beginning to be a little bit dangerous in more ways than others. _Just friends. Seventeen years old._ Edward had to use chants in his head just to make sure he didn't get too sidetracked. He cursed himself for his lack of control but then his devious subconscious told him _she's going to be eighteen in a couple of weeks and she will have finished school_. He sighed.

As he got to the door, he listened intently…_nothing_. It was silent in the house – he couldn't even hear the television or anything at all. Maybe Bella was just reading – she had expressed how much she had liked it in their emails. He opened the door and there was still no sign of movement in the rest of the house. Edward's heart began to thud faster and faster as multiple abduction thoughts crossed through his mind. He walked into the kitchen, and there was no one there. There was no sign of anyone in the study, his office or the living room, either.

He raced in to Honey's room as quick as he could, as that was one of the first rooms he could get to. Thankfully, he noticed Honey stirring in her crib as she was slightly disturbed by Edward's rash entrance. He smiled at her lovingly as she fell back into a peaceful doze and tried to tuck her in however to find that she was already perfectly done so. _Good girl, Bella,_ he thought as he noted how well put to bed Honey was. _Bella!_ He thought._ Where was she? Was she okay?_

"Bella?" He called as he walked back out onto the corridor outside the bedrooms. However, there was still no noise.

Edward ran downstairs again and looked around the living room to see whether Bella had fallen asleep on the floor or something like that, but no. She was nowhere to be seen. As he paced up and down the room, he realized the only room that he hadn't checked was his bedroom_. Surely not?_ Although this had featured a few times in his recent fantasies, he really didn't think that Bella would be that sort of girl just yet. _Just yet?_ Edward thought. _What the fuck are you on, Cullen?_

He walked up to the bedroom door to notice that it was left slightly ajar. She must have been in there as Edward always thought to close the door of his bedroom as that was the only place that he liked to keep to himself and have no one in there – even Bella, for now. Why, Honey hadn't even been in there yet since it was no longer just the spare room.

He pushed on the door slowly and his heart stopped. There she was, and she filled every fantasy that Edward had ever had of her. She was stirring a little bit as the creaking of the door must have begun to wake her up. She squirmed and stretched as her shirt started to ride up just past her navel. _Holy shit,_ Edward thought to himself as he held his breath. Her long brown hair was spread all over the pillow and her legs looked long and luscious in her tight skinny jeans.

As she turned to sit up, Edward noticed something fall off the side of the table. It was a photo of him and Rose – one that he had not seen before. They had their arms around each other and it was at a time when they were madly in love – so it seemed. Then another thought crossed him as he looked at Bella sitting up and disorientated…_why did she have a photo of him and Rose?_

"Bella, what are you doing?" He asked her as she woke up. If he was honest, although the thought and the vision of Bella in his bed was absolutely awe-inspiring to him, he couldn't help but find it a bit disturbing that she had a photo of him and his wife. It was…_strange._

"Oh, um, uh," she stuttered as Edward stared at her for an answer. "I'm sorry; I must have drifted off without realizing. I am so sorry, Edward. I've let you down," she murmured whilst refusing to look at Edward. He could even see the redness of her blush as she was turned away.

"I wasn't talking about that – it happens, Isabella. I was wondering how you found…this?" He leant down and picked up the photo of he and Rose.

"Oh," Bella looked at him and then blushed profusely. "I don't know… I'm really sorry. I was looking in your drawer to see if you had any books and I found it. I'm sorry – I shouldn't be in here."

"You found it in my drawer? Which one?" Edward asked.

"That one," Bella exclaimed as she pointed to the one next to the bed.

"I didn't know it was in there," Edward explained, his brow furrowing. It was all a little weird how he had never seen the photo before and then Bella had found it in his room.

He looked at the situation, and then turned to the self-conscious Bella lying on his bed. Despite only knowing her for just over a week, he believed her. There was something about her personality that he had gotten to know over the past week that seemed honest and true. Edward felt his shoulders relax as he realized he must have walked in on a misunderstanding. He knew that he didn't know Bella amazingly well, but for some reason he felt like he could trust her.

"Right," he said.

Bella became thoroughly embarrassed. _What did it look like to him?_ If he had never seen the photo before then it must have seemed as if Bella had miraculously found a picture of Edward and his wife and had then fallen asleep on his bed with the photo. Even she had to admit it must have appeared beyond weird. _Oh God,_ she thought. _He must think that I'm a stalker._

She couldn't help it. She turned away from Edward and a nervous tear slipped out of her eye. She had ruined everything – how could he possibly want to be friends with her after this, let alone let him anywhere near his daughter again? She had already found that she bonded with Honey better than she expected and she was almost devastated to lose that connection, too. It was the first time that she had stepped out into the real world by herself and she had mucked it up beyond repair, it seemed. It also seemed that she wasn't as ready to face the real world by herself as she had thought.

"Hey, what's the matter?" He said to her as she refused to look at him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Can you take me home?"

Edward was annoyed that he had upset her – she hadn't done anything wrong and his curiosity and the incongruity of the photo had got the better of him. _How could she have possibly gotten a photo of him? _She was just a timid and shy girl and there was nothing she had done to make him angry, despite how he had appeared and now he had disconcerted her.

"I'm sorry I reacted like that. Rose must have put it in there, don't worry. I'm not annoyed," he told her.

Edward paused, his brow furrowing again. He sat down on the bed next to her and she stared at him, her eyes watered with tears and her cheeks rouge with embarrassment. He had never seen her look so vulnerable and…_beautiful_. He had expected her to look away, but she didn't. She just kept staring at him; it was _their_ stare and this was just _them_. Their emotions were raw and untainted. He lifted his hand hesitantly and she broke away from the stare and regarded his hand moving closer to hers.

Edward's emotions had been running on a high after the adrenaline of looking for Honey and Bella, seeing the photo and now Bella on his bed. Something strange was happening to him as his body off its own accord began to move closer to hers. She was…magnetic.

Bella's breathing hitched as she watched him edge closer. Inside her head, she was screaming. _Back off!_ She wanted to shout. _Is it too fast?_ However, she had gotten this far and to back out now would have been a felony. Her breathing was heavy, but to her ultimate delight, she didn't move away from him. She froze as Edward's hand touched hers and the electric current was more than apparent. But she didn't jump like she expected to. Instead, she found warmth beginning to run throughout her body and the urge to move even closer to him. The burn in her lower stomach returned and suddenly, she was on fire.

He didn't know what he was doing, but his body wouldn't let him stop. There was something about the way Bella looked so broken matched exactly how he was feeling – and it caused a longing deep within him to move closer to her. He could sense that she was nervous so he rubbed her hand tenderly and he felt her body relax. She looked back into his eyes and then she turned her hand upwards so that her palm faced his. They felt their fingers naturally intertwine and finally, their connection was confirmed.

There was no going back now, for either of them. For now, their faces were inches away from each other. Bella's nerves were running haywire through her body, but there was another urge that was fighting the nerves and suppressing them to an extent. Her other hand lifted off the bed and tentatively, she brought it up to touch Edward's face. He still looked broken, but concentrated. She didn't know what had exactly happened between him and his wife, but all she knew was that she was irrevocably falling for him and there was nothing that she could do to stop it. She wanted to wipe away any tears that he had ever shed and to hold him in her arms until he felt better. But for now, just to learn to touch him was the first step forward. So, despite her apprehension, she brought her finger out to touch him just under his ear lobe.

She felt him tense, but his eyes implored her and begged her to continue. The movements were painfully slow, but tentatively she traced down his jaw line, and he closed his eyes and smiled. He took hold of her wrist gently, and turned his face so that his lips touched the palm of her hand. He kissed it gently and Bella fought the small part of her that contained the urge to scream. Shockingly to her, the rest of her body was feeling elated and she didn't want him to stop. She was surprised at how easy this was for her – now her progress had finally been proven.

He kissed from her palm to her wrist and she had to suppress a moan – she had never known her wrist to be so sensitive. As Edward kindly kissed down her arm, he came to a halt and then stared at her. _Was he going to kiss her properly?_ She could withstand the holding hands and just about the kiss of her wrist, but she wasn't sure how she would act to a real life kiss. She had dreaming about it for most of her life, reading about it in her novels but now – her first kiss? Edward's beautiful face was so close now that she could feel his breath on her mouth.

She tried so hard to suppress her anxiety and apprehension, but it was no use. Bella had made progress that was for sure, but instinctively she turned her face away from him – she wasn't ready for it yet. But a part of her psyche told her that she would be soon.

He was a little disappointed at the small rejection, but he was already so pleased that she had let him kiss her, no matter where on her body it was. He was euphoric that she obviously felt the same way as he did and he also agreed with the pace she seemed to be setting. Although she had turned away, she kept hold of his hand and gave it a small squeeze to let him know that it was nothing personal; she just didn't think that she was ready for that amount of contact yet.

Edward used his other hand to gently touch her waist and she didn't reject him. He pulled it gently and moved her closer to him, so that she was almost sitting in his lap. She leant her head back so that it rested on his shoulder. He breathed in the scent of her hair. _Strawberry,_ he noted and then kissed her head sweetly. Now that they were silent and comfortable, he took the opportunity to speak.

"Isabella, I… I don't know what's happening to me," he said impulsively. It was true – he had no idea as to why he felt this attraction to her, but all he knew was that he did and he wasn't going to try and stop it anymore.

He felt her tense against him. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

He felt compelled to laugh. "For what?"

"For making you feel this way," she said as she wriggled out of his grasp. The loss of contact almost killed him. "I know…I'm young…and you have a wife…and…"

"Sssh," he calmed her. "It's okay, love. It doesn't matter. It doesn't change the way that I feel about you."

He felt her relax again against his chest. To his surprise, he also felt her hand touch his again. He opened out his palm and Bella took it tenderly. For a while, they just lay there: Edward planting kisses in her hair and Bella lying against him gently and lovingly. After what seemed like an hour, Edward noticed how Bella's breathing had become more regular and heavy; she was asleep.

Edward slowly moved from Bella and laid her flat against his bed. She looked so peaceful with beauty adorning her face and he couldn't help but smile to himself. He felt nervous that he had sort of confessed that he felt something for her, but it was overpowering him now. He wasn't one to lie back and just let things fall in to place; so he wasn't going to do that this time.

He took Honey gently out of her crib and then placed her in her seat of the car, being careful not to wake her as he strapped her in. She stirred a few times but after a while she remained asleep soundly.

Next, he returned back to his bedroom and brought Bella into his arms. She was surprisingly light even though he knew that she was small, anyway. She stayed half asleep in his arms but casually put her hands around his neck for support and also because secretly, she wanted to touch him.

It astounded Bella, even whilst she was almost asleep. How was it possible that after all of these years of being scared of anyone touching her, she suddenly wanted the exact opposite? It was as if just by touching him her world completely altered and brought her out of reality – it made her _forget_. She was definitely falling for him already.

As Edward lowered her into the front seat of his car, he took a moment to reflect on what had just happened. Guilt swept over him as he looked on at Bella. In some ways, she still looked like a child – especially when she slept. He couldn't help it though – the way he had felt as he held her; it was as if he had finally found his solace.

He drove slowly all the way back to Bella's house. It only took about ten minutes to get there, but the ride seemed a lot longer. No words were spoken, despite Bella being awake the whole time. She didn't want to ruin everything by stuttering something stupid. The moment they had just spent together was something incredible to her and she wanted to savour it for as long as she could.

As they reached the chief of Police's house, Charlie's car hadn't returned just yet. Bella closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep when she realized that Edward had noticed that her father wasn't home. Edward looked at her and regarded her beautiful serenity. He didn't want to disturb her slumber so he undid her seatbelt for her and pulled her out of the car.

He carefully double locked the car so that Honey was safe inside of it and he gladly carried Bella to her door.

"Key?" He whispered into her ear before gently planting a kiss there.

She smiled sleepily and replied with, "Pocket."

Edward did his best not to drop Bella as he gently reached into her jean pocket and pulled out the key from there. Bella shuddered a bit as he touched the top of her thigh so he removed his hand as quickly as possible. He unlocked the door and slowly pushed it open.

"Is your room upstairs, Isabella?" He asked her as he carried her into the living room.

"I'll just sleep on the couch," she replied, yawning.

"Oh no, Isabella – I've showed you my room, now you show me yours," he ordered, playfully.

Bella opened her eyes immediately and so quickly that Edward noticed how suddenly alert she felt. She gripped him tightly and looked at him with worry, as if to warn him. He knew that he had already pushed her boundaries today so he wasn't going to try anymore. Even though his intentions right then were perfectly clean, he didn't want Bella to get any idea that they were anything but that.

"Okay," he decided. "Couch it is."

He lowered her onto the sofa and then picked up a throw from the other and laid it across her, affectionately. She lay there quietly and calmly, but her eyes were still open, watching Edward's every move. She was fascinated and thankful for the way he cared for her even though she felt that he looked like a Greek god compared to the shy and plain seventeen year old that she was. Especially tonight – he looked just delicious in his suit now that his hair was ruffled and his tie slightly askew.

"Thank you for looking after Honey tonight, Isabella," Edward began as he stared at her back. "She loves you already."

"She's a lovely girl," Bella retorted with a smile.

There was an awkward silence between them as they both attempted to think of something appropriate to say that wasn't along the lines of "I would have loved to have sex with you on my bed tonight" or "I've never had a boyfriend or any sort of friend and I've only known you for a couple of weeks but I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Will you come to Crumbs tomorrow?" Bella asked hopefully.

"Maybe," Edward replied. "It depends on how much I get sorted out to do with Honey's arrangements. I mean, you can't babysit for her every day because you have school."

"We finish next week," Bella replied.

"Well, we will see then," Edward stated.

"Will you email?" Bella asked. She didn't realize that her desperation was sort of coming across in the tone of her speech.

Edward laughed. "I will see you again, Isabella – don't you worry about that. After tonight, well, I don't think I would like it if I never saw you again."

She froze as Edward's words reflected what she was truly thinking. "Me neither," she said with a little grin.

"Well, I guess I have to get back to Honey – she's on her own in the car," Edward said, sadly and not wanting to leave Bella's company.

"Thank you for having me."

"It's no problem. As I said, even though we didn't see too much of each other, I had a nice time with you tonight."

Bella blushed abundantly and smiled at Edward. He felt compelled to smile back at the wondrous being that seemed to feel the same way about him. "Goodnight Isabella."

"Goodnight Edward."

He leaned over Bella and hesitated before his lips reached her mouth. _Would it be taking it too far if he kissed her?_ He stopped just before he touched her and suddenly he felt Bella grab onto him and pull him tightly to her so that he fell from his stance. Their lips didn't touch, but this forceful embrace was something that Edward was stunned about and it pleasantly surprised him. He felt so glad that he could witness Bella finally coming out of her shell and becoming more confident with every move. _Baby steps,_ he thought as he hugged her more than willingly back.

He kissed her forehead lightly as he broke away from the cuddle, and then turned to the door. As he left, Bella felt a tear slip out of her eye. It wasn't because she was upset – although she missed him as soon as the door closed – it was because she was _happy._ She was happy that she was changing and it was because of him.

Her head rolled back onto the arm of the couch and she picked up the throw and began to walk upstairs. As soon as she reached her bedroom, she slowly walked up to the window and peered outside. She watched Edward's car as he pulled out of her drive, the throw still wrapped around her.

As the driver's seat of his car neared the view of her house, she watched his faraway face with delight. Before he drove off, she could have sworn that she saw him smile back.

--

**A/N: If there were any mistakes in this chapter I do apologise. I don't have a beta, and I had a pretty hectic (clubbing) weekend and consequently I am drunk with fatigue at the moment. Don't hesitate to tell me if there is something wrong! And as always, please review and tell me what you thought. I will love you for it! BG x**


	9. The Graduation

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. I was having a big ol' writer's block and it was really pissing me off.**

**Thank you to Parama who helped me sort out this chapter when I was getting annoyed with it. **

**And just so you know, Edward might be a bit of an idiot in this chapter – but he has his reasons. **

* * *

There was an unfamiliar pain in Bella's chest the following Monday morning. She couldn't work out what it was exactly, but she hated to admit that she knew why it was happening. It was _him. _

He hadn't been to the bakery the next day. It wasn't as if he promised to, but she expected it as he had been there every other day that she had worked there. Alice had been quite good at distracting Bella from wondering where he was, but it was only momentary. She couldn't stop thinking about him.

Now, it was Monday and she hadn't heard from him once since they had shared the painfully intimate moments on that Saturday night. He didn't even leave an email. She had checked her emails profusely, like clockwork every hour, refreshing the page on her computer to see if there were any new emails – but there weren't.

Bella had to hold back her tears as she struggled through the school day. It was lucky that no one cared much about her, because she never drew attention to herself.

She had lunch in the toilets by herself that day, just in case anybody noticed her weeping. She wasn't worried about the students of course, but more about teachers telling her father that she wasn't happy. She knew how much it made _him _happy that she was getting out of the house and also that she was making a new life for herself – evidence of that in meeting Edward.

She also didn't want the chief of police to know that there was a thirty-two year old man who had kissed her wrists and held her tightly as she lay in his bed.

After she had got home that day, she was glad her father was still at work so that he couldn't see her crying. She checked her emails reluctantly but there was nothing there. Slumping back in her chair in despair was beginning to become a regular occurrence.

Tediously, the week went by without a word from Edward. Bella didn't ask anyone about him or show that she had been seeing him and that she missed him so terribly. She was angry, that was for sure. The hours that they had spent together that wonderful night had seemed beyond anything she could have ever expected. The way she felt so comfortable in his presence was like she had finally found some sort of succour.

She didn't think he was the type of person who'd lead her on and then just drop her like a piece of dirty laundry. She'd read about those type of men in her books. However, when she thought about it she realized that maybe she didn't know him as well as she thought. After all, she had only met him one week prior to that night.

She decided that maybe, in spite of everything, he was a more callous man than he had let on. Maybe Rose was lucky she had escaped when she did because he might have been horrible to her too. Bella couldn't help but feel bitter. To come down from such a high to such a low was a real knock to the knees.

It was now Friday morning, and the day of her graduation. Bella had been looking forward to this day for a very long time. Not because she was going to college, or she couldn't wait to spend the summer with her friends, it was because she couldn't wait to get away from everything – to just live by herself. She thought that she was making progress in the real world, but all she wanted to do now was stay in her room and never come out. She was…numb.

"Come on Bella, it's time for the ceremony," her father said to her as he entered her room, finding her curled up in a ball underneath her covers.

"I don't want to," she explained, not moving a muscle.

"It's okay, baby. It's just one more day and then everything will be fine," Charlie soothed as he sat on the side of Bella's bed.

Bella moved the covers from her face. "Just one more day," she repeated.

"That's it, my love," Charlie answered and then moved Bella's hair out of the way of her face. "There's something that came in the mail for you downstairs, too. Get washed and dressed and then you should open it."

Bella was curious about the mail, but her dowsed mood was taking her mind elsewhere. She reminded herself of one of the other emerging reasons as to why she couldn't wait for graduation. It wasn't just the fact that she would finally be free from interacting with all those people at school. The truth was that she thought that maybe once she had graduated, she could see Edward more. She knew that Edward had sort of considered Bella doing some more baby-sitting once she had more time on her hands since his wife was gone.

_Maybe his wife was back._

The thought shattered Bella as the shower came down on her harshly. The water was cold, but it wasn't affecting her in the way that it usually would have. She didn't shiver; she just leaned against the side of the shower. Had she really fallen for this man so hard that she couldn't feel anything anymore?

After she had washed thoroughly, she decided that enough was enough. She had grown a significant amount in the past couple of weeks, and she wasn't completely stupid. She could contact him, so why did she have to wait around for him to speak to her? It was ridiculous that she was going to just sit back and be hurt. She'd read about girls like that – and she always pitied them. She didn't want to relate to the heartbreak that she feared she was about to share.

The hole in her chest was eating up at her; like it was tugging at her heart, to bring her down to the floor and to not let her up again. However, she wasn't going to let it. The feeling only reminded her fractionally of how she felt after the incident with her mother. She shook her head as memories invaded her brain and she grabbed her head to try and remove them. One of the reasons she had liked spending time with and speaking to Edward was that sometimes, he made her forget.

She'd finished getting ready; refusing to blow dry her hair as the last time she did that was in preparation for seeing Edward. This time, she left her hair damp, put on her Forks High tee-shirt since it looked like quite a warm day, and black tight fitting jeans that hugged her hips quite nicely. She put on her dark red converse sneakers and walked downstairs where her father was waiting with a camera. He snapped cheerfully and Bella blinked as the flash temporarily blinded her. She laughed.

"Are you coming, Dad?" She asked him, thinking that he would be going to work.

"The station let me have the morning off for this," he explained. "Do you really think I would miss my daughter's graduation? Your mother wouldn't let me hear the end of it," he sighed.

She agreed. Her mother had been so devoted to their family and wouldn't have liked Bella to graduate on her own. Then again, she would have been disappointed to see Bella throw all her new found confidence away on a married man. It was foolish just thinking about it.

"Oh, and before I forget, here is the parcel that came through for you this morning. Did you order something off the net?" He asked Bella, curiosity wavering in his eyes. However, she was just as ignorant of its content as he was.

"No," she answered. "How long do we have?"

"You've got about half an hour before we need to leave. Take your time, love," Charlie told her and handed over the package.

Bella took it up to her room, her heart thudding with interest. Who could it be from? For one moment her heart raced as it crossed through her mind that it could be something from her Mom. However, as she looked over the name that it was addressed to, she knew that it wasn't. Her mom only ever called her Bella. There was only one person who called her by her full name.

And that was Edward.

She opened the parcel and out fell a piece of paper. There was a solid cardboard box also in the parcel, but Bella regarded the note first.

_Isabella,_

_I'm deeply sorry for how everything has turned out this week. I wanted to come into the bakery and say goodbye to you, but it was too painful. After that night…I couldn't bring myself to. I was a coward and I'm sorry._

_Honey and I have relocated to Seattle. We still have the house in Forks but I couldn't possibly find someone to look after Honey in the week for all of those hours. I hope you understand._

_Maybe our departure wasn't completely a bad idea either, Isabella. What I feel for you is real and it scares me. I'm thirty two and I'm still married. You won't have even graduated from High School by the time you receive this. I don't know how anything would work._

_I have added some contacts in the parcel for you. Call me if you need me. _

_I'm sorry._

_Edward_

Bella felt a tear slip down her face and the hole in her chest doubled in size.

He had left her and she wasn't even prepared for it.

In a way, she had expected him to say something that concerned the morality of their growing relationship…but not leaving town. Would this mean that she would never see him again? After how much he had helped her and she thought she was starting to help him, too. _I was just the girl at the bakery, _she told herself.

But he hadn't been that to _her._ He had shown her a way out of her reclusive state – he had given her hope of trying to be something else in her life – a chance at being _normal_. However now, it seemed like her hope had been smashed to smithereens.

Despite Bella's diffidence, she was not a quitter. After everything had happened with her mother and she started her reclusive state, her father had suggested home-schooling for her post-traumatic stress. However, Bella had refused the offer and had promised herself that she would continue her normal education at Fork's High right until the very end. Her mother was a fighter, and Bella knew that she wouldn't have wanted Bella to give up on life completely.

She wondered what her mother would say about Edward. She closed her eyes and thought of her mother's face and tried hard not to imagine it like the last time she had seen it, but in happier times. The hole in her chest ripped at her as she strived for hope, something to make the pain go away.

_Mom,_ Bella thought. _I don't know what to do._

As if the image of her mother's face before her was almost authentic, she thought of what she had always said to her. "Never give up on what you believe in, baby. If you want something – you should always go after it. Don't listen to what other people say – just go for it."

Of course, this was a flashback on when Bella had told her mother that she wanted to be an author at the age of five. Her father had laughed and told her that an author wasn't a proper job.

Her mom was a pugilist, even up until the tragic end. Bella wasn't going to let her down and sink into a depression over something she could do something about. If she was going to lose something that had given her such a sense of optimism, then she wasn't going to lose it knowing that she hadn't tried to save it.

_I can't just let him go_, she thought. His feelings were _real_… Edward had even said it in the letter. She thought of how weak she was becoming, and then picked up the box that Edward had sent her in a fit of rage and threw it across her room. It was hard to find some sanguinity now.

Bella breathed out heavily through her mouth, trying to keep composure after her zealous outburst. It was the first time she had ever been… _angry. _She was usually sad and pensive, but now heat engulfed her body and crawled through her skin. She was completely impassioned.

As the box hit the wall, Bella noticed something small and black fall out of it. She ran over to the broken box and looked at what was now lying on the floor.

_Oh my God,_ Bella thought as she picked it up. She couldn't help but to let a slight smile creep across her face. It was a BlackBerry. She'd heard of those things before – Jessica Stanley was always raving about hers; saying that _every_ celebrity had one.

She looked over it and found the 'on' button. She watched in awe as she looked through the phone… but it wasn't really a phone – it was like a mini-computer. Maybe Edward had considered she didn't know how to use a mobile phone so he'd got her something closest to the thing she was most familiar with. But this was just…beyond anything.

She scrolled over the contacts sign and hesitated. She then clicked the button and her heart fluttered when she saw that she already had two contacts in there. _So that's what he had meant about the contact thing in his letter. _One was her household number which she was pleased to find already programmed in there – she wouldn't have been able to do it herself – and then the number she would have wanted the most in the whole world. _His number._

"Come on Bells, it's time to go," Charlie called from downstairs.

"Just coming!" Bella answered and looked quickly up at her computer. She was still on her email page and she looked over the 'compose' option. She needed to find something to prove that she wasn't giving up… not just yet. She needed to get his attention, to let him know that she wasn't going to just let what they had go like this. She had an acquiescent and submissive personality, but she wasn't ready to

let someone she was falling for leave her so suddenly. Her mood was strung-up and adrenaline filled, so she was starting to feel a little bit reckless.

"Quick, Bella," Charlie called. "You'll be late!"

She didn't have time to write a message so she pressed 'send' without anything written down. It was childish, she knew that. If he thought of her as a child anyway, she didn't see any harm in acting like one.

Bella hopped into the police cruiser outside and sat in the backseat. Charlie didn't question why, but it was because Bella was still holding her BlackBerry and she didn't want Charlie to see it. He would enquire why Edward had given it to her and probably get angry. When she had told him that she was going to baby-sit for Edward, she could read slight suspicion in his eyes and she didn't want to add to that.

Whilst her father was driving to Forks high, there was quite a lot of traffic which gave Bella time to explore her new gadget. Fortuitously, her father knew that she didn't like to talk in the car so dismissed her curious silence. Inside though, Bella was screaming.

Bella found that Edward had also wired her phone so that it contained her emails on it, too_. Huh, _she thought as she flicked through all of the features. She was surprised at how competent she was with it.

Bella then found the button to compose an SMS message. Did that mean a text? The little icon for it had a little phone and an envelope beside it, so it seemed logical. She clicked on it and selected Edward as the recipient. Her heart thudded certainly as she thought of what she could write.

As soon as she tried to think of something to say – something not weird and something that might get him to consider talking to her again – the car pulled up at Forks High.

It was time.

Bella quickly put the device in her pocket, trying desperately to hide it before her father noticed. Thankfully, she had covered it just as he father had finished parking and turned around to face her.

"This is it, Bella," he said to her, a wide grin appearing on his face.

Bella returned the smile, as it would make him feel better. As for Bella, she was beginning to jitter with nerves. She would have to go up and receive her diploma and that would be in front of everyone – most of Forks residents went to watch. Now that she had experienced this setback with Edward, how could she be sure that she could go on with it? And not just mentally, but physically too?

She went into the hall with her father, and then registered silently. She was taken and ushered away from her father to grab her robe and hat whilst he was seated out on the football field, ready for the ceremony. She put them on unenthusiastically and gave trivial smiles to her euphoric classmates who were clearly over-excited about the whole process.

"I so can't wait to throw my hat in the air," Jessica Stanley mused to the prime jock, Mike Newton.

"Me neither," he sighed back. "I can't wait to leave this stupid rainy little town."

"Yeah, I know. College is gonna be so much fun," she sighed.

They began talking about college life and Bella found that she was glad that she wasn't going there. It seemed like school… but further exaggerated with more social life and people interaction. However, she felt a pang of guilt as she knew how much her father wanted her to go. Nonetheless, she had made her decision and although she was beginning to rethink putting it off for a few years, her setbacks had confirmed her initial decision not to go at all – not if she couldn't even get through a day at school without wanting to weep.

"Right everyone," Mr Banner called from outside the field as everyone began to line up in their gowns ready for the ceremony.

"Let's go."

Bella's nerves surged through her as she walked through with the rest of her senior class and her knees felt wobbly. _Was she able to do this? In front of all those people, everyone in Forks practically watching her?_ She took out her BlackBerry from her pocket and looked through the contacts.

"Ready to go, Swan?" Mike asked from beside her as they walked onto the field. Bella jumped out of her skin – he never usually spoke to her. She dropped her phone out of shock and then leant down to pick it up before a warm hand got there before her. She flinched at the contact and then gulped.

"Allow me," Mike said as he picked it up off the floor for her as people pushed past to get through.

"Please," Bella stuttered as she held her hand out, and fear overcame her. She was so upset that she had dropped Edward's gift that she couldn't put a coherent sentence together – not that she had ever attempted to speak to the jock louts at her school anyway.

"Oooh, a BlackBerry. Jess's dad got her one of these – they're awesome. Hey, hang on, who is this? Edward Cullen? The rich lawyer from Seattle? Jess is crazy about him." He asked, facing the phone to Bella so she could see that he had found her contacts. "Why do you have his number, Swan?"

She grabbed her phone off from him as quickly as she could. She gasped as if someone had found out her dirty little secret. As if the day could have gotten any worse. She pleaded with Mike using her eyes, begging him not to tell anyone. Even though she had barely ever spoken to him, she was terrified that he had picked up on her contact with Edward. She tried to ignore his concerned stare, but suddenly all her nerves and frustration from the morning came onto her all at once. She almost fell to the floor as she became weak and the tears started to flow out of her eyes.

"Woah, woah," Mike said apologetically, his arm touching her shoulder. She shrugged it off immediately and looked to the ground. "I'm sorry, Swan."

She attempted a smile as she sobbed whilst trying to keep equanimity. It wasn't his fault, but his actions had set off her rage and frustration again. _Stay strong!_ She heard her mother's voice inside of her head. Bella gulped and walked the other way with the rest of the students, her hands shaking abundantly. Mike tried to put his arm around her, just to make sure that she was okay as he didn't mean to upset her, but the look on her face told him that she just needed to be left alone.

It was a shame really; he had always thought she was beautiful.

Bella looked at the BlackBerry vigilantly and thought about what Edward had said in the letter that had come with it. As a final tear slipped from her eye and the hole stretched inside her she realized that she still had an option.

_You can call me if you need me._

Her finger hovered over the green phone button that signified that it would call the contact. There was a crowd of people now, all waiting for the valedictorian, Angela Weber, to give her speech and present everyone with their diplomas along with the headmaster.

She pressed the button tentatively and it was abruptly calling. Her heart hammered furiously as she placed the phone to her ear. When he answered with his soft and velvety voice, Bella almost fainted with emotion.

"Isabella?" he said.

"I…" she began.

"The ceremony is about to start Bella, put your phone away," Mr Banner said to her as he began to round everyone off into alphabetical order.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked.

"No, I…"

"Phones _away,_ Bella!" Mr. Banner ordered.

Bella reluctantly put the phone in her pocket after she had pressed the 'end call' button. This had been the second ambiguous message that she had left him and she felt like a fool. Her plan to never give up seemed to be slipping; it was further and further away at this point. Maybe once she had graduated, she would return to her room, curl up in a ball on her bed and stay there forevermore. She was truly falling apart… on her graduation day – the day that was supposed to finally free her.

Caught up with her thoughts, she realized that the class was already through the first half of the alphabet. Luckily, she was near the end with her name so it meant that she could prepare herself a little better. However, now that she was farther in the queue, she could see the amount of people waiting on the field and her legs began to shake again.

Just in front of her was Jessica Stanley, and she was watching Bella's every move. She looked at Bella for a while, paused and then furrowed her brow before speaking to her.

"Mike told me you had Edward Cullen's number," she said, curiously watching Bella twitch with nervousness. "Do you think I could have it? I mean, I've heard he's broken up with his wife now… all the women in Forks are after him."

Bella pursed her lips at Jessica and was suddenly frightened that more people were starting to know that she had been in contact with Edward Cullen. He was obviously very well known across Forks, and so was she. Bella's fears were suddenly rising to the surface as Jessica spoke his name – what would happen if more people knew that she was in contact with Edward? How would she explain it to her father? Swiftly, Bella became more nervous as if suspicions may be raised. Her heart thudded so loudly she could feel it in her temples.

Also, the fact that Jessica had also noted that all the women in Forks were after Edward disconcerted Bella to a large extent. However, with all her conflicting thoughts currently consuming her, there was no way that she could put a rational thought in about what other people thought about Edward. All she knew was that she liked him, and she didn't want anyone else to.

"So can I have it? I know he's a little old but hey, he's a daddy I'd like to f-"

"And Jessica Stanley," Angela the valedictorian spoke. "Graduating from Forks High School and studying Theatre Studies at the University of Washington."

The crowd cheered and Jessica went up to receive her diploma and Bella watched her smile and pose for the camera as she stood with the headmaster and Angela.

_This is it,_ she thought. _Think positive Bella, that's what Mom would have wanted. After this, it's finally over and I've done it. I've finished High School and I never have to go back._

"And Isabella Swan," Angela smiled at Bella as she nervously walked onto the stage to receive her diploma from the headmaster. She took it sheepishly and smiled to some extent at the camera, desperately trying to ignore the crowd in front of her that were staring. The flash gave her a headache.

"Graduating from Forks High School and aspiring to be an author," she read, and everyone looked around as they noted that Bella was one of the only ones in the class not going to college. She was well known for being clever and people guessed that her reclusiveness was a result of constant studying. Little did they know.

She ignored the mutterings instead of applause that other people received as she went to stand with the others. She stood next to Mike and Jessica as they smiled at her and Mike mouthed 'You were fine'. She gave a diminutive smile back, appreciating that he was being pleasant to her on her last day here. She knew just from watching the jocks that he always had a kinder heart than the rest of them, and just for a little while, her nervous jitters simmered down slightly.

"So," Angela finished after everyone was done. "As the future lies before you, like a field of driven snow, be careful how you tread it, as every step will show."

Although it was just a cheesy poem to finish off the graduation ceremony, Bella thought about those words carefully and found that it possessed some meaning to her. She didn't want to end up alone and she certainly didn't want to remain a recluse for the remainder of her life. She knew that she was still young, and there was still time to make things right.

As everyone threw their hats into the air as a symbol of freedom and a last goodbye, Bella kept hers on and looked into the crowd that watched. She tried to blink away the image she thought her mind was conjuring to fill a hopeless fantasy, but she could have sworn that there was a pair of green eyes staring back at her. She stared back and for the first time that week, she smiled genuinely and then, she threw her hat up into the air.

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**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews so far. They're pretty amazing. **

**If you don't already, you can follow me on twitter under ****bondgirrl**** for more stuff about this fic and when it will be updated. I'm hoping to do it on a weekly basis every THURSDAY. **

**And as always, please leave a review. I love hearing your thoughts. BG**


	10. The Return

**A/N: Et voila! Sorry it's a little later than I said – I was so tired last night and the time difference meant that I couldn't post it until the next day so I am sorry for that.**

**Thanks again to Parama for her beta skills. **

**Hope you enjoy the next chapter!**

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The relocation to Seattle was a lot harder on Edward than he had originally anticipated. Leaving his home town, even just for a week, was almost painful. However, it wasn't just the fact that he was leaving Forks – he was leaving her with it.

He had spent most of Sunday trying desperately to find someone locally to look after his daughter for the week whilst he was in Seattle at his office. Despite there being many women who were keen to offer him their services, he finally admitted to himself that he didn't want to leave Honey anyway. It would have pained him to know that his daughter was in a town extremely far from any of her parents. So, the decision was made to take Honey to work with him.

Luckily, his personal assistant Lauren was more than enough help when it came to looking after Honey. Edward was able to make his own coffee and let Lauren stay in his apartment in the day and he forwarded his dictation to his apartment's computer so that Lauren was able to still keep up during Honey's sleeping hours. Plus, he was still paying her for her PA duties so it was no financial hardship on her and after all, she had two grown up kids herself so she was perfectly able in the care department.

However, despite sorting out something for Honey, Edward was left with an empty feeling inside of his stomach for the rest of the week. He wasn't quite sure what it was exactly but he guessed some emotions that might have been the cause running through his head for the most part of the week: worry, regret, guilt, and longing.

The part of the night which he spent with Isabella had been more than he could have ever imagined. How he could feel that way about a seventeen year old was far beyond him. Ever since he had set his eyes on her in the bakery, his mind and his body reacted positively to everything she did – and it frightened him. Even as a grown man of thirty-two, he had never felt so scared in his entire life.

That's when he made the regrettable decision of leaving her in Forks. He had so much baggage – the fucked up marriage, the child, the stressful job – she was just a young, wise, and beautiful girl who had her whole life ahead of her and for her sake at least, he didn't want to burden her with all his old man shit. He was falling for her more than he had let on and he was freaking out about it, to say the least. It was almost impossible not to email her or do _something_ to just remember how she made him feel. The way he wanted to drop everything just to spend time with her was more than unusual and he had to stop it before he fell in too deep.

On the other hand, part of his subconscious left him a channel of contact between the two. They still had each other's email address even though Edward had tried to force himself to delete hers. After thinking about her became too much, he remembered that he hadn't even paid her for when she had baby-sat for Honey. He also remembered that she had told him that she didn't have a phone and then, he had a miraculous idea.

The BlackBerry was perfect. It was like a computer (which he knew Bella was used to so that it would be easier for her to use), it was something that showed that he thought her help was more than just appreciated and it also left him with some form of communication; it left him with some hope. In his mind, this let him feel like it wasn't completely over.

He didn't expect her to contact him even though he had left his number on the device. He had left her with no word about what he was doing even though the time they had spent together the night before obviously meant something to her similar to what it meant to him. He knew that if she had done the same thing, he would be almost as devastated as he was to leave her in the first place. However, his psyche told him that it was for the better that they were apart now – she needed to live her life without an old broken man like him.

That was until he received her email. Her contact was like water in a drought to him as he logged onto his email account on the morning of what he knew to be her graduation day. He knew she must have received his letter and his gift and maybe she would tell him to piss off or maybe – he had wistfully hoped – that she missed him in the way that he missed her.

To Edward's utter dismay, there was nothing. The email contained no subject and no written message – just blank. For some reason, it worried him beyond belief. His reaction bothered him even more as he realized how much he was really obsessing over her welfare and her potential safety. Was she trying to get his attention? Was it an accident? Did she need him?

He decided that whatever it was, he would do his best to help her in every way that he could. The week had been torture without speaking to her or knowing that she was okay. Even though he still had one working day left in the week, he knew that he couldn't go one more day without seeing her and making sure that she was okay. It was pure torture knowing that she had tried to contact him and he couldn't see what she was trying to convey. He was going to her graduation.

As he was driving in his car all the way back to Forks, his foot a little harder on the gas and only one thing on his mind, his phone began to buzz violently. Tentatively, he took a quick glance at the caller ID and almost swerved into the curb when he saw who it was. It was her_: Isabella Swan_, the caller ID told him. He answered the phone as carefully as he could whilst trying to keep his eye on the road.

"Isabella?" He answered.

"Hi," she said back to him, with worry in her voice. His hands tensed as he was frustrated he couldn't be there for her.

"Are you okay?" He asked, eager for the answer.

"No I –" but then she was cut off after he heard a male mutter something and then the line went dead. Edward's fingers clenched with more force on the wheel and his foot pressed harder on the gas pedal as he edged closer and closer to Forks.

~*~

After everything was over and the entire crowd dispersed and the green eyes vanished, Bella rushed down from the stage and tried desperately to find any glimmer of green. Suddenly, she was interrupted by her father with open arms.

"Well done. I'm so proud of you," he whispered as he embraced her. Was he _crying?_

"Thanks Dad," she replied and smiled in relief as she realized everything was finally over. As she hugged her father, she kept her eye out for Edward. She really hoped it hadn't been her imagination because the hole in her chest was attempting to close and her stomach was throbbing with want.

Suddenly, as people moved from the field, her stomach seized as she saw him waiting there, his arms crossed and concern etched across his face. She immediately broke away from her father's hug and couldn't stop staring at Edward. He was dressed in his work clothes and Bella wondered whether he could ever be more attractive. She then came to the conclusion that no, that wasn't even humanly possible.

As her father muttered to her about how he didn't think she was going to throw her hat up in the end, Edward signalled to her that he was going to leave the field and then wait for her outside. Obviously, Charlie might have had something to say or get worked up about if Edward had come to her graduation. She also feared Mike or Jessica's reaction if they noticed that he was here, too. _What if they told their parents and then they told Charlie? _She instantly became fidgety again.

Charlie took her by the shoulders; attempting to shake her out of her apparent reverie. "Bella," he asked. "Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, Dad," she replied. "I didn't think I was going to throw my hat, either."

"Well, it's done now – it's finally over. I have to get back to the station now; do you want me to drop you off home on the way?" He asked her.

She looked over to the field where she could see him just disappearing. "No, it's okay Dad – I can walk home. Now it's over I think I need to clear my head a little."

"Okay, love. Just so you know, I think _she_ would be really proud of you," he whispered, pride swelling inside of him.

Bella felt her emotions running high again and she forced a smile at her father. "I know," she replied.

As Charlie walked off across the field, Bella sat down on one of the benches to calm herself down. However, she found that she almost felt serene knowing that Edward was almost in her presence. The football field was now empty except for the used bunting that was flowing in the wind and the feeling of the sky becoming overcast as the weather was becoming more fervent: storms were not unusual in this town.

"Isabella," she heard a voice say and she turned around instantaneously.

She froze before she spoke. She had missed Edward so much in even a space of just a week that it almost hurt her to see him again. "Hi," she managed to stammer before he sat down on the bench next to her.

There was an awkward silence that filled the air as he sat almost half a foot away from her, knowing how much his body would react if there was any contact. Words escaped him as he realized how utterly stupid he was to leave this girl behind. Although their time spent together hadn't exactly been copious, he knew that she needed him and in reality, he needed her.

"So," he began with hesitancy. "How are you doing?"

She looked at him with her large brown eyes and then smiled nervously. "I'm a bit overwhelmed, actually." Then she furrowed her brow and pursed her lips before she spoke again. "Did you just come from Seattle?"

He smiled at her realizing the intensity of his rush to get to Forks – just so that he could see her again. "Yes, I did. It was a little reckless of me to leave my office on such impulsive needs but… you sounded so hurt on the phone. I thought you needed me, Isabella."

She looked down to the ground, crossed her hands in her lap and frowned. "I'm sorry, I couldn't…I didn't know what to do when… I don't know… I feel so lost, Edward."

His heart broke for her as he could read her pain even from where he was sitting. He leaned in to take her chin gracefully in his hand. She didn't even shiver at his slight touches anymore – she craved them. "I'm so sorry I left, Isabella. Things were… difficult – with Honey, with Rose, with my job…with you."

"I thought you'd left me for good," she replied, sorrow tainting her voice.

"I tried," he said. "I thought it was for the best."

She looked up at him and tears began to glisten in her eyes. "Do you still?" She asked.

He laughed and then draped his arm around her shoulders and she couldn't help but lean in, still nervously checking that no one else was on the field to see it. Thankfully, everyone was already on their way to Jess' 'After Grad' party by now and the teachers had left for their annual post graduation lunch before they came back to clear everything up.

"No," he replied. "That's why I'm back."

She leaned into him even more, rested her head in the crook of his armpit and failed to suppress a small sniffle. He rubbed her shoulder delicately and pulled her in even closer. He noticed how she was no longer as apprehensive and warmed to his touch rather than trying to shy away from it. They stayed in that position for a while and then he noticed a tear fall from her face.

"Why are you still sad, Isabella?" He asked her.

"I'm not," she retorted. "I'm happy."

As Edward looked up from her face, awashed with relief that he had made it back to her and that she didn't hate him, he noticed a figure standing at the end of the field and he jumped back from Bella reflexively. She bounced back from him as he made her jump and she turned around to see the person who had so graciously joined them.

"Mike," she whispered.

"I'll tell him not to say anything," Edward said as he stood up from the bench, his hands clenched into fists.

"No, please don't," Bella subtly begged. She thought quickly and apprehensively and then stood up, too. "I'll talk to him," she said, although it was more in a way of trying to convince herself.

"Are you sure, Isabella?" he said, eyeing the boy up and down like a predator to a prey. Bella had never seen him like this and it shocked her that she felt even more attracted to him this way. Edward, on the other hand, was seething. He was mostly outraged that someone had walked in on his clandestine obsession.

Bella walked over to Mike and she was shaking a little, probably aided by the wind that was now blowing ferociously. The hole in her chest was closing, but she was still feeling terribly nervous about speaking to this boy. She knew that he knew about Edward's number on the phone and now she was about to insist that nothing was going on. Plus, it pained her to walk away from Edward.

"Hey," he said to her as she approached him.

"Hi," she said back, not really knowing when to begin.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come to Jess's party with a group of us – we're just leaving now," he stated, looking back at Edward on the pitch.

"Um, thanks but I'm gonna head on home now," she replied, smiling gently at him.

"Listen Bella," he said as he moved in closer. Bella instinctively moved back. "Are you sure you're okay? I know we don't speak that much but… I know when someone's upset." He looked over at Edward and then frowned.

"I'm fine, thank you. I babysit for the Cullen's and I forgot that I was supposed to be doing it tonight. I panicked, that's all," Bella said, trying to explain. She knew it didn't sound completely suited to what her actions were suggesting but it was all she could come up with. It would have to suffice, for now.

"Oh, okay," he replied. "Well, it's a shame you can't come. I hope everything goes well for you. You know, in life."

She smiled at him with surprised confidence. "Thank you, I hope you have a good time in college, wherever you're going."

He laughed. "Unfortunately I am only attending the community college in Forks, so I won't be too far away. See you around, Bella."

"Okay, Mike."

As Mike walked off, she watched him and then felt a sturdy pair of hands fall onto her shoulders and she smiled. Edward kissed her nape and although she did shudder, it was out of rapture rather than fear. "Let's get you home," he whispered. "You've had a long day."

During the drive back, neither of them felt as precarious as they did on their way to school. Most people were out having graduation celebrations so they weren't around to see them together. Bella was silent in the car but she still noticed Edward watching her from time to time. She couldn't help but grin to herself; she was so happy that he had come back for her.

As he turned into her driveway, she froze in horror as she noticed that someone was parked there. It was a large red Chevy truck that looked rusty in a sort of worn-in and homely way. She had never seen a truck quite like it – but she liked it.

"Is someone in?" Edward asked her, ready to pull out of the driveway and perform a speedy U-Turn.

"I don't know," she said fretfully. "If you wait here I will check and see if any of Dad's friends are over. It could just be Mr. Clearwater from the Rez."

"Okay, I'll be waiting here for you," he replied and her heart soared at those words. How was it possible that everything in the world she craved had fallen into this one being?

Of course, he felt exactly the same. It had been a mistake trying to hope that things would mend themselves and that if he ignored his problems they would just go away. He should have been there for her in one of the most important weeks of her life – but he wasn't. For that, he would never forgive himself.

He watched Bella as she walked up to the Chevy. He was instantly reminded of how much of an effect she really had on him. The way even her simple faded blue jeans clung to her every mouth-watering curve and her simple white t-shirt just worshipped her body in the way that he so badly wished he could. Her luscious brown hair fell delicately in loose waves down her back and he had to stop all of his impure thoughts before they got him into serious trouble.

As she moved over to the other side of the truck, he heard her gasp in horror. He immediately got out of the car with haste and moved around the side of the truck to see what was wrong. Then, he saw a large bow tied around the wing mirror, and a piece of paper that Bella was reading with a smile from ear to ear.

She turned to him. "It's my graduation present!"

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**A/N: I have written quite a bit of the next chapter already so the update MAY be before next Thursday. I'll keep you all updated on Twitter under **_**bondgirrl.**_

**And a review would really make me smile :) **


	11. The Kiss

**A/N: Slap my wrists…seriously. I know that it's been a month since I last updated and I am very sorry. Unfortunately, I had to write a 10,000 word dissertation on French 19****th**** cent. Politics which clearly shouldn't be more important than writing FanFic. However, you can't always ignore RL (even though I definitely wanted to).**

**Anyway, it's done now, as is this chapter. I hope it makes up for the wait.**

**Love to all readers who have been very patient. **

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They had been in Bella's house for a while now; Bella was rapidly coming out of her shell when she was around him. She could laugh without debate, speak her mind about things in which she delighted and which she despaired, and much to her enjoyment, she noticed that maybe, she was even _flirting._

After Edward had so graciously made them both lunch and Bella made him a cup of coffee, Edward decided to speak out again. "I don't want to stay away from you anymore."

Bella pushed her plate away from her indicating that she was full. "Please don't go again."

"I will have to return again tonight to pick up Honey, but I will be back for the weekend, I promise," he assured.

"Where is she?" Bella asked.

"My PA Lauren is looking after her at the moment. Just until I find something more permanent," he told her.

"You have a PA?" Bella asked, dumbfounded. "No one in Forks has a PA," she then stated with an impressed smile.

"Well, technically she is only my PA when I am in Seattle," he grinned.

"True," she replied, and then she yawned.

"Sleepy already?" he asked her.

She laughed. "Yes. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep recently."

"Maybe you should go and have a rest," he suggested. "I'll tuck you in again on the couch, if you like," he joked.

"Mmm, that wasn't as comfy as it looked," she noted. "I think I'll just lie down on my bed for a while."

"Okay," he agreed. "Well, I will come and see you in the shop tomorrow and maybe we can talk about some more…"

Suddenly, he was cut off by something he was astounded at. She was holding his hand – not hesitantly or nervously anymore. She was firm and compassionate. "Please don't go." She paused and pursed her lips. "Not yet," she begged.

She didn't let go of his hand as she began to walk upstairs, slowly and sheepishly. Of course, inside her mind was running haywire and she literally had no clue as to why she was leading a thirty-two year old man up into her bedroom. No one had been in her room before – except Charlie, of course. Now, she was taking _him_ there.

She was nervous and apprehensive, but she didn't want him to go. She wanted to share something with him like he had with her, but she felt as if she had nothing to give. By showing him her room, she hoped that maybe he would see how much she trusted him now; that she wanted him.

She hoped that he wasn't getting the wrong impression – but he must have known by now of her intentions. She knew from her books that when a woman led a man up to her room it wasn't as innocent as what she was doing, but Edward knew that she was growing and their pace needed to be slow.

He sat down on her bed beside her as she lay down smoothly, her head feeling heavy and her eyes becoming weak. "Oh," she moaned softly. "Why am I so tired all the time?"

"Well, it's been an emotional day, Bella. I'm exhausted just being around you," he chuckled lightly as he turned so that he was lying on his back and his head rested on the pillow next to hers.

Bella's nerves rose slightly as Edward lay next to her, but not to the extent where she was worried. In fact, she felt slight comfort that he was laying next to her. Even though she felt more at ease not being around people, she couldn't help but hate being alone.

She listened closely to his breaths as he lay next to her in silence, and watched his eyes as he stared up to the ceiling with what appeared to be almost as much anxiety as she was feeling. She didn't want to be rude, but she wanted to know what was bothering him and felt that talking to him was now almost easy.

"Are you scared, Edward?" she asked him, tentatively.

He turned to face her and gave a forced smile. "No, why would I be scared?"

Bella frowned and Edward's smile immediately dropped from his face. They hadn't known each other for long but already could read one another like an open book.

"You don't believe me?" Edward asked, resting his head on one of his hands.

"No," Bella answered.

"I'm not scared, Bella, I just…"

She cut him off. "You're scared, Edward. Trust me; if anyone knows what scared feels and looks like, that's me."

He sighed and rolled back onto his back and continued to stare at the ceiling whilst Bella stayed on her side, still watching him intently. "Fine," he admitted. "I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?" Bella asked.

"Everything," he answered.

For some arbitrary reason, Bella began to giggle incessantly. "What's funny?" Edward asked, taken aback.

Bella tried to find a quick excuse for her impolite outburst of chuckles and could only come out with one that she didn't find very believable. "I think I heard that line in a film somewhere," she replied. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Edward sighed. "It's nice to see you laughing for once."

She tried to laugh again, seeing his eyes light up as she did so for his benefit, however the familiar broken look on his face proved it impossible not to keep calm and collected.

Instinct overtook her as she battled with her weaknesses. She wanted to care for him; she hated that he was scared and it pained her almost as much as it obviously pained him. She wanted to tell him that she could look after him; that she would do anything within her power to make sure that he was okay. But after everything that had happened to her, all her past overcoming her every time that she had tried to move on, she knew that all she could do was temporarily console him; to try for him.

"Edward," she started. "Are you scared of _me_?"

He laughed and then it turned into more of a guffaw. "What? Why would I be scared of little you?" He said, and then turned over to tickle her lightly. Instead of pushing him away in recoil, she laughed again without force as he kneeled on her bed and tickled under her arms and along her ribcage.

"Stop!" she said, tears of laughter appearing in her eyes. "Edward!"

Immediately, he stopped tickling her and the worried look fell back into his eyes. "I'm sorry; did I take it too far? I didn't mean to Bella…I…"

Bella grabbed her pillow from behind her head and playfully bashed Edward lightly on the side with it. "I was having fun," she exclaimed. "You didn't have to stop."

The crooked smile appeared on Edward's face again and definitely, one appeared on Bella's that almost mimicked his. His hands were still on her ribs where he had been tickling her and almost at the same time, both their eyes fell on where he hadn't let go. Edward's smile dropped from his face, lust grew apparent in his eyes and he almost let go.

"Don't," Bella said.

"That's what I'm scared of," he replied, his hands still at her waist, his eyes not meeting hers as she stayed there, laying on her bed beneath him.

"You said you weren't scared of me," she begged.

"I'm not," he said.

"Then what are you scared of?"

He sighed, still keeping his hands on her, and then falling from his knees slightly so that there were only inches apart from their bodies touching.

"This," he stated, indicating the space between them.

"What is it?"

"You know its wrong, Bella," he said, disappointment showering him.

"But you came back," she said, confused and blinking harshly as if to stop the tears pouring out from her eyes as his words suggested that he would leave her again. They reflected what they had said in the letter that he had sent her and she couldn't go through with that again – not twice in one day.

"I know, and it was stupid of me."

"No it wasn't," Bella begged. Her emotions started to heat up, and before she knew it she was speaking confidently. "It's fine. No one knows, so its fine!"

"What about that guy on the football pitch? What if he tells your father, who I might add, is the chief of fucking police?"

His hands removed themselves from Bella's ribs and suddenly, she couldn't fight the tears for any longer. His cursing shocked her and his angered tone even more so. One tear dribbled down the side of her face as she watched Edward bury his head in his hands. She hated to see him like this. Was it the end?

"Don't, Edward, please…I…"

"I don't want to do this to you Isabella, trust me, I really don't. But can't you see how this is just going to cause absolute havoc? I have a daughter; I'm probably going to go through the worst divorce battles in history – in which I will probably _lose_ my daughter. I work all the way in Seattle, solving other people's problems even though I have more of my own. And now, all I want to do is stay in Forks and never go out again because stupidly, I'm falling in love with a seventeen year old girl, who I've known for not even a month, who works at the fucking bakery! Can you not see why I'm fucking scared, Isabella?"

_Falling in love? _Her heart stopped, but she could see why he was scared now, and it scared her, too. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, tell him that everything would be okay. But it wouldn't. He was right. Bella was wrong – but for once, she was going to do something right. She wanted to take away his pain, and there was only one thing she could try to do exactly that.

"Sssh," she soothed as she moved closer to Edward, her hand tentatively moving to his head, stroking down the side of his cheek. "I want to make it better."

"You can't. You're seventeen, Isabella. No matter how much happiness you bring me, just by being with you, you can't make things right. Better, maybe. But not right. It will never be _right_."

"If you just try, Edward…"

"No – you need to look at reality now. Where do you see us in a few years time?"

"I don't know…"

"Exactly. So you can't be sure about this. We've known each other for a month and look how fucked up it is already? And for what? _Nothing._ We're just irrationally infatuated with each other, I know that, Isabella."

Bella thought for a moment, and then decided to tell him something. Weirdly, she felt as if her Mom was channelling something through her – something forcing her to speak her mind in the way that she had resisted for twelve years. She held Edward's head in her hands and he stopped looking down and moved his gaze into her deep brown eyes. His piercing green colour almost shook Bella from reality, but she stuck to her plans. She could do it.

"I was laughing earlier when you told me that you were scared about everything…" she began.

"Yes," he answered. "Line from a film?"

"No… well, the truth is that I've only seen about four films in my life – all Disney. Before I turned five."

"Right," he said, his mouth almost turning into a smile. "Not a Disney quote then?"

"Not a Disney quote," she confirmed.

"Why, then?" His eyes were full of confusion and curiosity.

"Because…it humoured me that you were scared. Not in a sadistic way, as that sounds – but because… the only time I'm _not_ scared is when I'm with you."

Edward bore an adoring smile, confused a little but still appreciative. Bella tried to return it but she wasn't finished. She trusted him. "This isn't for nothing, Edward. I know you know nothing of my past or why I'm like this – but you've helped me so much already and you don't even realise it."

"My mom died when I was five," she continued. "It was hard on me and my father, but me especially. What happened that night… I just never wanted to leave the house again, Edward. My father insisted that I went to school and that; I could deal with – just about. But I never had any friends. The job in the bakery was my father forcing me out – he knew how unhealthy I was, and it was hard. But I made friends with Alice, and even on my first day… I met you. And then everything just felt just that little bit easier. So yes, this is probably the most I have spoken to someone since I was five years old, and I'm scared too; I'm absolutely terrified. But this thing between us isn't for nothing – not for me anyway."

She breathed out after speaking, watching Edward's reaction carefully, wondering if he would laugh at her or instead say the words '_See ya!_' and walk out of her door, thinking that she was a crazy little girl. His reaction was neither.

"Can I just try something?" He asked.

"Anything," Bella whispered, wondering what an earth he could have wanted to try after her melodramatic speech.

He placed a hand on her neck unexpectedly and she pleasantly shivered underneath his touch. He looked into her eyes with intensity and she stared at him back, wondering what he was doing, revelling in the fact that she could feel him so close; that she could feel his breath on her mouth as he was getting closer. _Wait, was he…_

His lips touched hers and her body heated up rapidly in response. Her lips were tingling with might, even though their lips were just touching slowly and without force. As his lips pressed closer to hers, she practically melted and ignored the urge to pull away. She'd read about this moment in so many books and now it was finally happening to her.

At the time of picturing the first time, she'd imagined that she would be scared, cry, even, but she didn't and she wasn't. The only thing she felt she needed to do was move even closer to him, to taste him properly.

Her body reacted to his touch as she instinctively moved closer to him, feeling his hands move back to that sensitive spot on the top of her ribs where they had been previously. Her hands moved back to his hair and the side of his face and suddenly, she parted her lips and then, she tasted him.

He tasted of everything she could have ever wanted: manly, yet sweet; tainted, yet wholesome. The one thing that she couldn't work out was how this wasn't even enough for her, despite the overwhelming surge of hormones that were vibrating in her body everywhere.

As he pulled her closer, she felt another unanticipated thing. His tongue gently moved against her lips and she couldn't help but give a soft moan as she allowed it entrance to her mouth. Naturally, their tongues moved together in a slow and sensual way, as if to establish their connection and relish each other. Inside she was screaming, but not in the way she was used to. She was screaming for more.

Bella moved closer to him, her breath hitching, attempting to move her legs so that she was able to press her stomach and chest against his. Her brain wasn't controlling her at the moment, no; her brain was begging her to stop. Her body, on the other hand, was doing anything to move closer to Edward – and it seemed that his body was having the same effect.

As Edward ran his hands up and down Bella's waist, he felt something strange that was happening to his body. He hadn't felt it in what seemed like a long time, but the feeling was becoming more and more prominent as he explored the length of Bella's tiny frame, becoming very aware of where her breasts and ass started, and being careful not to touch there.

After all she had just told him, he felt his heart swell uncontrollably. He knew that Bella and he had something between them, but he didn't realise that he meant as much to Bella as she did to him. In fact, he had felt exactly the same way. That's what he had meant when he said he wasn't scared of her – she was the only person to bring him any kind of solace and to know that that was also what he did to her, only heightened his need to try something that he had been longing to do ever since he had laid eyes on her.

But they were going too far. Not just for her, but for him also. Another reason as to why he was scared was his physical need for her. He knew that she was still underage in most of America and it certainly stuck in his mind every time he imagined her in her underwear – which wasn't infrequent. He knew that if he started something, he wouldn't be able to stop. Plus, the way his body was reacting proved that if Bella got any closer, she might have had a heart attack at the _solid_ response of their body contact.

He gently broke away, moving Bella slightly away from him so he could physically stop attacking her with his lips. He was surprised at how far she had gone with him today, but content all the same. This was proof of how much progress they had both been making mentally and that brought their connection to a whole new level.

"Do you believe me now?" Bella asked, still panting a little, her lips slightly swollen and her skin glowing.

Edward leaned in and pecked her gently on her lips. "Yes," he said, before kissing her on the nose, putting his arms around her waist and falling with her so that they were lying on her bed in a spoon position. He nuzzled into her neck, savouring the sweet strawberry smell from her shampoo. And, he was smiling.

"You can go and pick up Honey now, if you want," Bella stated, still smiling from the kiss.

"Are you kicking me out now you've had your way with me, Isabella Swan?" Edward teased, burying his head playfully into her neck and squeezing her tightly. She let out a laugh and Edward had to laugh with her – it was absolutely contagious.

"No," she giggled. "I…just think she probably misses her daddy. I know how much I missed her daddy when he was gone…"

His smile dropped from his face. "Isabella…"

She nudged him from behind with her elbow and laughed. "Edward, I was only joking."

"Did you just make a joke, Isabella?"

"Well, I did say I was joking."

"You really are changing aren't you?" he said with admiration.

"I told you," she replied.

"And your knowledge is perfect – I guess I should go and get Honey now," he said before closing his eyes and resting against her.

Five minutes later, they were in the same position, appreciating each other's company and the silence they both shared.

"I'd better go," Edward said, before reluctantly breaking away and moving off the bed. "I wouldn't have minded spending the rest of the day with you though, Isabella."

"Me too, Edward," Bella said, sleepily. She really was exhausted. "But Charlie gets back at six so…"

"Six?" Edward said, alarmed and looking at Bella's digital clock beside her bed.

"Yeah," Bella replied.

"Isabella, it's 5.58!" He said, suddenly panicking and all his previous thoughts returning. He ran over to Bella's window and looked outside, thankfully noting that Charlie's car wasn't in the drive as of yet.

"Shit," he exclaimed. "I can't stay any longer, Isabella, I have to leave."

"Okay," she said silently, wishing he could stay.

"I promise I'll be back," he said, his hand on the door, ready to run.

"You promise?" she said.

"Yes, listen, you have the BlackBerry now – I'll call you as soon as I'm home to tell you exactly when I'll be back and then we can see each other. And Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"You don't scare me."

She laughed sleepily and before she could respond, he ran through the door at lightning speed, and heard him close the door but not too loudly, and then listened to his car leave the drive and performed a hasty U-Turn by the sounds of it.

As her eyes began to close and her dead beat mind began to drift off, she smiled to herself as she heard her father pull into the drive just moments after Edward had left. She repeated his words in her head and she smiled, realising just how far he had helped her come, and that now, she seemed invincible.

_Falling in love? _Yeah, that sounded just about right.

* * *

**A/N: So their relationship is starting to become more intense and even more immoral, but Bella isn't going to let that stop them. Next chapter: someone knows something…**

**As usual, new readers or even current ones can find me on twitter under bondgirrl for teasers, crap and whatnot.**

**I'm also going to be a plug and tell you that I now have a new story which is VERY different to this one but is also with a young Bella and an older Edward – Dom/sub style. I know that's not for everyone but if you do like that sort of thing, check it out – it's called 'His Darkest Realms'.**

**Oh, and what did you think of this chapter? BG x**


	12. The Decision

**A/N: RL is hectic and I hate it. I wish I could update more! **

**Thanks to Parama for more reassurance and beta skills. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The next day, Bella was completely all smiles.

After she had gotten up in the morning after a much deserved rest, she took the time in making her appearance look acceptable as she knew who would definitely – she hoped – be visiting that very morning. While looking in the mirror, she noticed how much happier she looked after being with him: her skin was glowing, her eyes were sparkling and her whole demeanor was just completely changed.

She remembered how she lay with him and talked to him about her life. Something inside her forced herself to spare Edward all of the details about what had really happened the night that her mother had died as she didn't want to force those memories onto anyone else. She had told him that her mother's death was the reason that she became reclusive, but she didn't explain to him why she was scared to go out because of it and why it still haunted her to this day.

Bella was smiling as she drove herself to work that morning rather than her father giving her a ride in his police cruiser. The truck wasn't the most practical car, but she loved it. The heaviness and the creaks it made when she changed gears gave it personality, in her opinion. She found herself drawn to the things that were flawed.

As soon as she got into work, Alice noticed her change instantly.

"You've kissed him," she stated, as soon as Bella had put her apron on and moved over to the counter.

"What?" Bella asked, trying to hide all traces of knowledge from her voice.

"I can read you like a book, Bella Swan," she started. "You've been cavorting around with Edward Cullen. You know he hasn't even filed for divorce yet? My mom told me the other day."

"Ssh," she begged, noticing the concern in Alice's voice. It was different when the truth came out of someone else's mouth but Edward's. "Don't tell anyone please. I-I know it's wrong and, um, I don't know…I just…"

"Hey," Alice said as she held out her hand for Bella to take. "Why would I tell anyone? We're friends, aren't we?"

Bella sighed in relief and also contented agreement at Alice's words. "Yes," she replied. "We're friends."

As they continued to work throughout the day, Bella found herself relating to Alice more than she had ever imagined. She found that in actual fact, Alice was proving herself to be one of those friends that Bella had read about – you know the ones that are just there for you, listen to you, and don't even judge you. Bella had never found anyone that she got on with quite like Alice, so work was starting to become a comfort rather than a hindrance.

Bella enjoyed listening to Alice speak, and even found that she could have her own input into the conversation rather than just being a boring bystander which is what she would have usually been. Thanks to Edward, it had seemed she was evolving into this whole different person that she had never even dreamed of becoming after everything that happened. For once, she had her own identity and her own voice.

She even told Alice to go for it with Jasper, despite their boss being out of town to grieve about their breakup. Tanya had been especially withdrawn and distant since Jasper had dumped her out of the blue. Bella was sorry about it, but Alice clearly wasn't.

"You know when you just find someone and there's that connection there, and you can't even describe what it is – but it's definitely there. You want to see them all the time, even though you don't even know the basic things like what their favorite food or color is, yet you feel like you've known them your whole life…" Alice sighed, as she pondered over her feelings for Jasper.

"More than you know," Bella said, as she let out a deep breath.

"I mean, we've only been texting and he came down to the reservation the other day because he was looking for some hiking gear. I mean, he knows that my parents moved there a while ago, but you'd think he would have gone to Newton's here in Forks!"

"He obviously came to see you," Bella said and smiled.

"Yeah," Alice replied. "I hope so. He did mention in one of his texts that he wanted to know whether I liked hiking or not…do you think he wants me to go with him? Isn't it weird that he came to the rez and came by my school just when I was walking out of class last week because maybe he wants me to go hiking with him?"

Bella laughed at the absurdity of the situation, but grinned at how happy she was for Alice that it was going somewhere and she could speak freely of it. She didn't think she had the same situation with Edward and she was pretty sure that he didn't really want to go hiking with _her. _

"Who are you going hiking with?" a velvety voice asked behind Bella. She froze and pleasurable tingles were sent up her spine when she realized where the voice had come from.

"'Sbella!" Another voice sounded from down below. He had brought Honey with him.

"Hello there, Mr. Cullen," Alice said sweetly and almost curtseyed for him. Bella fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"Hi, Alice, how's your mom?" he replied. and then he turned to Bella with an intense look on his face that only set off memories in Bella's head of the fiery kiss that they had shared the night before. She felt that familiar feeling tugging at her lower abdomen again. It was utterly ridiculous – this effect he had on her.

But how was she supposed to act around him? Last night had changed them completely and altered their relationship for sure, but they still needed to keep things under wraps as people weren't supposed to know. Bella was still, even though for only a few more days, seventeen years old, and Edward was still married.

"Hi Edward," Bella said to him with as much calmness as she could muster and not swing open the counter flaps and perform a rerun from last night. She saw Honey and in the most affectionate way, she used her as a distraction from her father.

"Hello Honey," she began, as she looked down from the counter. "I haven't seen you for a long time. How have you been?"

"Goood," Honey said sweetly. "I'm twoo years old now, 'Sbella."

"I know," Bella said. "Aren't you a big girl now?"

Honey laughed such a cute laugh that even the other people in the shop turned to have a look to see whose adorable mouth it came from. Honey's personality was so infectious that Bella even felt that she liked seeing Honey nearly as much as she liked seeing her father.

Edward was caught up in the moment. After their talk the day before, he couldn't stop thinking about this girl. He loved the innocence about her and the fact that Honey was warming to her already just made him feel even more for Bella.

The way they had spent the time they had together had sparked something inside of Edward; a change was occurring in him, one that he had hoped would finally happen.

He couldn't think of Rose anymore. Not once, when he was with Bella did he think of Rose; only when he brought up the complications with Honey was she in his thoughts. He didn't think of her in a wistful or pained way anymore, at least not romantically. His mind was focused on Bella now, and even though he knew it was fucked up that it was a seventeen year old girl that had taken place of his beautiful wife inside of his head, ironically, it was the only thing that was beginning to feel right.

He looked around the shop just to make sure that there weren't any bystanders watching. Seeing they were all so engorged in Honey attempting to talk to Alice about her play group, he took the opportunity to take Bella's hand over the top of the counter where she was leaning in.

She flinched at first but Edward rubbed her thumb gently so she calmed down. "Edward, there're people around," she said, loud enough for just Edward to hear, and maybe Alice too.

"Can you meet me after you finish work, Isabella?" he asked her, longing in his voice.

She smiled and blushed – evidently excited that he wasn't going to leave her this time and his intentions were quite the contrary. "Of course," she said.

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"I can drive now," she grinned, obviously proud that she now had a car she could call her own.

Edward smiled. "Brilliant," he said, and then took his hand away from hers. "How about you stop by my place after you finish?"

"Sure," Bella said, and then smiled sweetly at him. "I'll see you around six."

Edward smiled back at her and then their familiar stare lingered for a little longer before they were interrupted by a rude cough coming from behind Edward. Bella had been too captivated by the man in front of her that she hadn't even realized that another customer had started a line behind him.

"Irina," Edward seethed.

"Hello Edward," smiled the woman that Bella had recognized from before. Bella's stomach felt funny when the woman looked at her disapprovingly and then when her gaze turned to Honey. "It's funny seeing you in here again, Honey. I didn't know your mom lets you eat so many cakes."

"'Sbella gives me cakes," Honey said, and then smiled a big smile of pearly whites.

"Isabella Swan? The chief's teenage daughter? How pleasant," Irina exclaimed through an incredibly forced smile. Edward had never liked her, and Bella was already terrified of her.

"Come on Honey, we have to get some things done," Edward said while keeping his eyes fixed on Irina, being careful not to prompt Honey into saying anything else about Bella.

"Okay, Daddy," Honey smiled and planted her face into her butterfly cupcake that Bella had given her.

And with that, Edward left the shop as quickly as he could, picking up Honey in his arms as he left. He couldn't take anymore drama.

"What can I get you?" Bella asked Irina through gritted teeth and her head slightly lowered. She couldn't ignore her nerves; she had seen how uncomfortable Edward had been around this woman.

"Oh, I'm not hungry anymore," Irina smiled, staring at Bella. "I was just wondering how Honey Cullen is so friendly with you, is all. I'm friends with her mom and I don't think it would sit well with her that her husband is up to God knows what with a teenager."

"I'm sorry, miss, but I just work here," Bella said timidly, her voice wavering slightly.

"Whatever you say, sweetie," Irina smiled sourly, and then the smile dropped and her face screwed up maliciously.

"But…" Bella started, and then her voice trailed off.

Suddenly, after she'd finished with her customer, Alice stormed over, pushed Bella back slightly and put her hands on her hips. She looked extremely ferocious for someone who was barely five feet tall.

"Leave Bella alone, missy," Alice pointed. "Edward and Honey are both regular customers here at Crumbs and always have been. Just because Bella speaks to them does not mean you have a right to come in here and accuse her of all sorts!"

Irina laughed. "You really think you can tell me what to do?" she spat. "You're both naïve teenagers – you have no idea what a real adult's life is like. Although," she turned to look at Bella who was trying to shield herself from the scene by hiding behind her hair. "Edward obviously doesn't seem to mind."

Bella was hurt, but she was more worried. There were local people sitting in the shop who knew her father.

Alice was speechless. "You… you…" she spluttered.

"Everyone's watching you, Isabella Swan," Irina said cruelly and then turned on her heel to leave. Bella looked around the shop and thankfully saw that people hadn't been paying much attention to the little brawl that had just happened. The risk of all these people knowing just reinforced Bella's fears of just how taboo her infatuation with Edward Cullen was.

Her breathing became erratic again. Alice pushed her into the back as quickly as she could.

"Don't worry, Bella. It's going to be okay – don't listen to that little bitch," Alice soothed, holding Bella's hand affectionately.

"But more and more people are finding out about it," Bella sighed, her eyes beginning to well up. She didn't want it to turn out the way it was heading – she just wished that she and Edward could be alone with no one else to worry about. Why did they both have to carry so much baggage? Why couldn't things just be simple? She just wanted to be the right person for him and yet she knew that ultimately, maybe she wasn't.

"They just know that you know him, Bella. No one thinks – except for that whore Irina – that anything is actually going on. You have nothing to worry about."

"But what about Mike?" Bella asked, biting her lip nervously.

"That kid from your school?" Alice smiled. "So he saw you and Edward together, so what? Just try not to think about it, Bella."

Alice did have a point. No one was saying that anything was happening between them – it was just a couple of people seeing them together. Bella's father knew that she had started to babysit for Honey so if anything ever got back to him, he would have no reason to worry; Bella, in theory, had no reason to worry.

"Please, Bella," Alice said. "It's going to be okay."

Bella sniffed and smiled at Alice. She was so happy that she had a friend like her, even if she was the only one.

"Thanks, Alice," Bella said.

"Anytime," Alice grinned. "Now, let's get back out to the shop and discuss how I'm going to get things going with Jasper before Tanya gets back."

Bella giggled and together, she and her friend walked back into the shop.

Bella felt the cool summer's wind fly through her hair as she drove along the winding roads through Forks to Edward's house with the windows of her truck rolled down. She had to ignore what had happened in the shop with Irina because even though it rocked her slightly, she was more excited about the man she was going to see. She'd dropped by her house quickly on the way to run her hands through her hair and change into something a bit more attractive than her Crumb's uniform.

She parked in Edward's luxurious drive next to his BMW and smiled as she got out of her truck.

Edward had already opened the door when he had heard Bella's noisy truck pull up into his drive. He could hear it from his study.

He watched Bella get out of the truck, her tight long-sleeved black T-shirt and slim fitting khaki Capri pants made her look even more delectable than he had remembered. Resisting her was going to be even harder than he thought, but first, he would tell her about the decision he had recently made.

He looked around his enclosed drive to make sure that no one was around, and then he ran up to Bella who was walking towards him and to her surprise, picked her up, his hands on her ass pulling her into him enthusiastically. Bella flinched but when he put her back down and she saw how happy he was to see her, all her anxiety faded away.

Her breathing picked up as he put his hand behind her neck and stroked there, still staring into her eyes. "Hi," he said, smiling at her.

"Hey," she said back, smiling at him.

"Is it okay if I…" he began, but Bella smiled nervously again, going with her instinct this time rather than answering her fears. She moved her lips closer to his and put her hand tentatively on his arm.

He pulled her neck gently towards his face as he kissed her lightly. He felt her body tense but soon relax after he softened his lips against hers so that their embrace was gentle, rather than following the force that his body needed.

After they pulled away, a familiar sense of belonging kept them connected. When they weren't together, it felt easy to question the relations that they were sharing. But when they were together, there were no questions, except wondering what was going to happen next.

"I've got something to tell you," Edward said, as he took Bella's hand.

"Okay," she said to him, waiting for the bombshell.

"Let's go inside first and then we can discuss it," Edward said, leading Bella inside. They walked into the kitchen and past the table Bella had previously eaten at with Honey and her father. She felt herself glowing at returning to the place where she realized that she had feelings for Edward Cullen.

He led Bella into his study which was a first. Bella had been curious about that room, but hadn't ventured in there like she had with his bedroom. He sat on his desk and then motioned her to sit down on his office chair in front of him. Her curiosity was intense as she wondered what was so important that he needed to bring her here to tell her.

"I'm getting a divorce," he announced. "Well, I'm filing for one."

"What?" Bella said, astounded. She had pondered on the fact why Edward wasn't getting divorced from Rose even though she had cheated on him in their marital home while their baby was sleeping in a nearby room. She didn't doubt that Edward knew the ins and outs of law so she believed him when he said he was just scared of losing Honey.

Sometimes she just had to wonder if he still loved his wife.

"You're... di-divorcing Rose?" Bella asked.

Edward flinched at the mention of his wife's name. "Yes," he paused and furrowed his brow. "I can't just pretend I have the perfect family anymore. Not since…I met you," he admitted. He couldn't look at Bella in the eye: she was the living proof of how he just couldn't feel anything for his wife anymore.

Bella placed a hand on his. "I think…you're making the right decision."

"You do?" He looked a little worried. "What if I lose _her_…?"

Bella knew that he was talking about Honey. "You won't. You're a good father…"

"Yes, but a father who works too much."

Bella thought for a moment. She wanted to be someone that Edward needed. "What if I look after Honey? While you're at work? I've got nothing else to do."

Edward smiled sympathetically. "Bella, I'm not going to take your life away from you just for my sake – that's not fair. You might not think you have anything to do, but trust me, you will find something soon. I don't want to tie you down."

"You won't Edward," Bella said. She hated how young and naïve she sounded when she talked to Edward who knew pretty much everything. "I want this. I want…_you_."

She still felt uncomfortable revealing just how vulnerable her emotions were around him, but she felt him pulling away. She needed him to know how she felt, or it might turn out to be too late. "I know you want me, too," she said, before gulping.

Edward rose from his desk and he took Bella with him in his arms. "Of course I want you, you silly girl. I just don't want to take away your future. Do you really want to be a full-time nanny?"

Bella thought for a moment, feeling his breath on her mouth, he was so close. "I want to be with you."

Edward laughed and held her away from him. "I'll only be back at weekends, Bella. You won't be able to see me in the week, don't you understand? Plus, Rose doesn't work. The court will put week custody with her mother, by and large."

"Oh," Bella sighed. She felt stupid for offering herself like that.

"But I appreciate that you would do something like that for me," he began. "It means more than you realize."

Bella smiled slightly.

"I want to be with you, too," Edward said softly to her.

Bella's smile grew, but then it faded.

"What's the matter?" Edward asked her.

"I…I just…" she started, but she couldn't seem to put a sentence together.

"Tell me, Isabella. I need to know."

"I don't want my father to know. Or anyone else… I just…I've just started to get my life back, after almost thirteen years…and I don't want to ruin it," Bella said, her voice shaking.

"Well we're not exactly parading it about – I want to keep it as secret as you do," Edward said soothingly. "I admire how much you're trying, love. Why do you think you'll ruin it?"

"Because…I know I'm only seventeen and I just don't want you to leave because I can't be someone you want," she said, with her sudden apprehension and fears spilling out.

"Isabella, I've just told you I want to be with you and I'm willing to go at your pace. You won't ruin it. I know you're young and you know, we've established that it isn't ideal but when I'm with you, it doesn't matter. Age is just a number, Isabella."

"I know. I'm just…scared, like you are," she admitted.

"It's going to be okay," he soothed.

"Mmm," Bella murmured.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, taking her hand with his and pulling her close to him. His hands moved to her waist and stroked her there, bringing her warm body against his so that nearly every part except their faces was touching. Edward's six feet towered over Bella's five feet and three inches, but she felt protected. Their physical contact was reassuring.

"Yes," she said before he kissed her.

"Please don't worry," he said before he kissed her again. "It'll be okay."

"I won't," she said against his lips.

Edward's hands of their own accord explored her body that was held against him, not even by his proclivity anymore. She was holding herself against him. They kissed each other this time with trust and care as his hand roamed across the small of her back and near her ass. He then brought his hands up to her collar bone and across her chest.

Bella gasped but she didn't stop him. His body was reacting rapidly to her heat against his. Without hesitance, his hands came down to her hips and moved her around so that her ass was now pressed against the desk. Edward's kisses became more frantic as his hands were entangled in Bella's hair as he tried to drown himself in her embrace.

Bella was struggling to stay calm, but she had it just under control. Her body was responding well to Edward's actions but in her mind she wasn't sure if she was ready for that amount of contact. She loved his hands exploring her body and when his fingertips traced across her chest, she almost wanted to beg him to trail even lower. She had wanted this kind of contact for a long time – her loins were begging for it every time she was near Edward – but now that it was actually happening, it suddenly felt wrong and wanton. This man was still married and his child was sleeping near them. However, in this instance, her body ignored her mind and gladly, her hands explored him.

Edward groaned against her mouth as she pulled against his hair desperately and it startled her. She pulled away from his kiss, shocked but still deprived. His groan sparked an even more intense feeling inside of her that she never knew she could produce. She was worried that she would lose control and she couldn't let that happen. Not now.

Her hands hadn't left his hair, however. Edward's sexual frustration had made him almost feral and unthinking as he stared at her. When she bit her lip as she stared at him, temptation was too hard to resist. He lifted her up higher by her hips so that she was sitting on his desk, beginning to pant. Had he gone too far?

Just as he was about to ask if she was okay, she parted her legs slightly as if inviting him to kiss her again. He felt especially gratuitous as her pleading eyes made her look especially young, but all his pent up feeling for her were begging to be released.

He kissed her again as the insides her legs shyly brushed against the outside of his. "I trust you," she whispered. "I trust you," she repeated again, her eyes closing and her mouth forming a smile as Edward moved his kisses down to her jaw line. She whimpered a little as his kisses began to pepper down her neck. She wanted him, but she was scared.

His hands rose up from her hips. He battled in his mind whether to touch her breasts or not. Everything in his mind wondered whether he was going too far. His thoughts of her seemed dissolute, but he couldn't help it. Cautiously, his hand brushed over her left breast.

Abruptly, Bella pulled away. Her breathing began to pick up even more and suddenly she felt terrified. Her mind cast back to the night with her mother, when she… when Bella saw…

"I'm sorry," Bella breathed. "I can't…not yet."

"Hey," Edward said soothingly. "I'm sorry, I got caught up. Don't worry about it," He removed himself from her touch and she flinched as he did so.

She had never felt so safe yet so terrified in her life. She knew that she would have to face this at some point in her life after she had come out of her reclusiveness. She thought she was ready as her body had begged for Edward to touch her. But she wasn't.

"I have to go," Bella said, not wanting to show Edward how it was affecting her.

"I'm sorry, Isabella. I shouldn't have… you don't have to go yet. Stay for dinner?" Edward pleaded. Sometimes he forgot about her situation.

"I need to make Charlie something to eat," Bella said, as she began to walk out of Edward's study.

"Hey, don't leave yet," Edward asked of her. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Bella turned around and looked at him. "I'm sorry, Edward. I need to get home."

Edward sighed. "I know you're not ready and I shouldn't have let myself lose control like that. It was stupid of me. But please, can you just stay a little bit longer? I…" He paused for a bit, wondering how he wasn't going to come off like a needy old man. The truth was that he felt happy in her presence. He felt safe. She made him forget.

Bella waited for what he was going to say, but it never came out because Edward's phone rang.

"Sorry I have to take this," Edward explained. Bella waited for him.

"Hello, Edward Cullen speaking. How can I help you?"

Bella tried to listen to Edward's conversation on the phone, but she couldn't make out what it said. Either way, Edward's face looked worried.

"Jenks," he sighed. "So you got my papers."

Suddenly, Edward's face grew panic stricken. "She's what?"

"No, no. No, Jenks! It's not like that! She's been babysitting for Honey on a couple of occasions, but that's it. You can't use a babysitter against me in court! You have absolutely no proof of these 'liaisons'…."

"Oh really? From whom exactly did you hear this from, Jenks? Irina Denali? Well, that explains it. She's been giving me stick ever since me and Rose separated. You do know that she and my wife are friends, right?"

Edward's face screwed up even more, and even his face of perfection showed lines of despair and stress. Bella gulped and grew worried for him.

"A meeting? What, now? No, Jenks. I'm not in the middle of anything and no, of course I'm not with the chief's daughter…"

Bella flinched and she edged near the door.

"Yes, fine. I will see you in five minutes."

Edward hung up the phone, fell back into his chair and threw his head into his hands. Bella walked over to him sheepishly as she feared he was about to cry. She put her hand on his shoulder and he jumped.

"Isabella," he said with regret in his voice. "You need to leave immediately."

"What's going on?" she asked, wondering if she really wanted to know the answer.

Edward ran a hand through his hair. "Rose is refusing to sign the papers. She has claimed to her lawyers that I have been unfaithful and is using Irina Denali as her witness."

"But…you're not together anymore, and you promised me no one was going to know," Bella said, her voice tainted with uncertainty. Why did everything have to be so hard?

"Isabella… we're still married. _Rose and I are still married_. And if she can get this past me, then…then…"

"Edward, it's going to be okay… everything will be fine… you'll pull through… you're fine, you're…"

She stopped as he looked up at her, fear written across his face. It scared her.

"Isabella, I might lose my child."

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**A/N: Agh! More drama…please don't shoot me.**

**I don't know when the next update will be but follow me on twitter under bondgirrl and I'll keep you posted.**

**In the mean time, I would love it if you left a few words in the form of a review. **

**BG x**


	13. The Rude Awakening

**A/N: Aghhh! You probably all hate me for my lack of updates and I'm really sorry! I'm doing my A-Levels at the moment and unfortunately they have to come first - I need to get my uni place next year! So I am sorry, but I have tried my best. I finish all of my exams and have no work for the rest of the summer from June 24th so updates-a-plenty after then, 'kay? **

**And yes, I have changed my username to "edieswan". It's not longer "bondgirl". I had some complications with my email address because I am a techtard. So I had to change everything. My brother thought it was funny that I had "die swan" in my username. I'll let you decide for yourself.**

**Anyway, thanks a lot to Parama, as always. **

**Please enjoy the chapter!**

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Work had been a chore on Sunday, but Bella decided to make the most of a quiet day and enjoy the fact that it would be the last weekend for her as a seventeen year old. After her hasty and painful exit from Edward's house the previous day, she couldn't think of anything other than coming of age so that he could see her in a different light; so that she could help him and maybe he could start seeing her as an adult and the person that she was, rather than the chief of police's seventeen year old daughter.

Meanwhile, at work, Alice had recounted the previous evening in which Jasper had come by to ask her if she wanted to go hiking with him, so she was in a superfluously chirpy mood. Bella was pleased for Alice, but couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous of how simple their relationship was, even though there was a similar age difference. Bella wondered why intricacy had chosen her, but was thankful that it did or otherwise she wouldn't have met Edward.

But now she was scared – scared for him and his family. She was also scared about _them_, and scared about how Edward would push her away once he knew that she posed a high risk that might lead to him losing Honey. She hated being a burden and she knew that it was definitely how she felt like at the moment.

Edward hadn't contacted her since she had left that evening, but she of all people knew when space was needed. Yet, that still didn't stop her from going to the back of the shop every five minutes to check her BlackBerry.

After work was over, Bella left the shop somberly and walked to the car park where her truck was parked. She fingered the key ring that her father had given her delicately; it was a tulip – her mom's favorite flower.

Bella had begun to think about her mom even more than usual, as she recognized that her eighteenth birthday was coming up. Also, the close contact with Edward had done nothing but spark up the memories from the night her mother died which, in a way, terrified her even though her father promised that nothing would ever happen to her, just so long as he was there. She knew that even though her father was on the police force and the fact that she didn't go out much made her security a little more assured, she also knew that nothing was certain.

She could still be in danger.

As Bella attempted to brush her thoughts of anxiety and noted to herself that she had been safe for over twelve years, she found her car key and removed it from the rest of her keys to open the truck. However, there was already someone waiting for her at the door.

Bella's body seized up in terror. _Not again, not again, not again…_

Irina eyed her up and down before she spoke. "Hello again, Isabella."

Bella was too scared to even move, let alone speak.

"Cat got your tongue?" Irina laughed. "Or maybe Edward Cullen has." The next time she laughed it seemed to resemble more of a witch's cackle.

Bella felt horribly uneasy, her body so stiff as if she had gone into rigor mortis. She felt red sweep across her cheeks as she blushed at the mention of his name, and she wanted to cower, to hide; to return to reclusion.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that even though Rose is not at all happy about Edward's decision to divorce her…"

Bella scoffed inside although her hands were trembling.

"…and obviously the allegations of him gallivanting with you in their marital home aren't completely solid yet."

Bella tried not to cry. She hated the word "gallivanting." That's just not what it was. It was special to her – and she hated someone else knowing about it and giving "it" a name.

"But we are on this, Isabella. I'm Rose's friend and she was heartbroken the day that Edward threw her out of her own home! But the fact is, Isabella, you will never match up to what Edward and Rose had. They were childhood sweethearts, _married,_ and they have a child together. And what are _you_? You're just a stupid girl barely out of school."

Bella gulped and then, to Irina's surprise, she spoke, her voice wavering. "There's nothing happening with Edward, and…me."

"Well, I sincerely hope for your sake that that's true, because Rose never loses," Irina jeered. "And through this divorce, I am on her side all the way to get Edward back; to give Rose her old life back – through whatever means possible."

Bella's eyes started to pool with water. Irina's eyes made her scared; the malice in them only reminded her of the malice that had occurred that night with her mother over twelve years ago . She hated it being replayed over and over again in her head, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't erase what happened from her memory, but she would have given anything to.

Bella gulped whilst trying to swallow back her tears. She couldn't let someone like Irina affect her this way. She needed to stand her ground, although she had felt a lot better when Alice was there with her. "Okay," she whispered, her bottom lip quivering slightly.

She moved closer to Irina cautiously before muttering gently under her breath, as if it was all that she could muster. "Can I please get in my truck, now, Irina?"

Irina didn't move instantly. Instead, she smiled deviously as Bella attempted to move closer to the truck. Bella looked up, her hair forming a slight curtain between herself and the vicious woman in front of her and then she spoke. "Please?"

Irina cackled and then moved away but as Bella moved closer, she whispered in her ear. Bella could feel her warm, malicious breath on the side of her neck. It sent horrified tingles all the way down her spine.

"You'd better watch your back, Isabella Swan – because you won't see what's coming to you."

It had been rather difficult for Bella to drive home; she was still in shock. Her hands were stiff on the steering wheel and it was starting to rain. At one point, Bella had to pull over to the side of the road just so she could stop and breathe for a second. Intricacy – yep, that was something surely attached to her life right then.

After Bella had managed to get home, she still felt weak and especially feeble. She had eventually calmed down significantly since she had the unfortunate encounter with Irina, but she was still shaken. However, she needed to stop the feeling as soon as she could because her father was home. She cared for her dad and she hated worrying him.

Immediately after closing the door behind her, she dropped her now-soaked bag and keys on the floor and went over to slump down on the sofa next to her father who was watching something on ESPN, as per usual. He barely acknowledged her return, but as soon as she sat down next to him, he moved his arm and placed it around her.

"Gee, Bella. You're shaking! And you're freezing!" Charlie remarked, as Bella sidled into his welcoming arm. She didn't say anything though, but tried hard not to shiver and was thankful that she could blame the rain rather than her overloading nerves, thanks to Irina.

"It's raining," she lamely stated, her quiet voice barely heard over the sound of the football cheers on the television.

"No kidding," Charlie sighed. He kept his eyes back on the screen. "Still, its June, now, it's hardly cold." He chuckled but then realized the truth of his words. "What's the matter, Bells?" he asked with concern, despite his eyes not leaving the game.

Bella tried to put her fears aside as she spoke to her father. Thankfully, she was a lifelong expert in keeping her feelings at bay – especially from her father. "Nothing in particular," she replied, attempting to seem firm, confident, and perhaps uncaring.

"Are you sure? You seem a bit vacant these days, what with the baby-sitting for the Cullens and whatnot," he sighed. He squeezed her shoulder caringly, but the contact made Bella jump slightly. Despite her best efforts, she was alarmingly on edge.

Bella shook her head as if her father could see it. "No, Dad, I'm fine."

Then, Charlie grabbed the remote and switched off the TV abruptly and turned to his daughter, earnestness adorning the chief's face. He sighed again.

"You do know that you can do this at your own pace, Bella. I know I wanted you to get out more, and that you have done and I'm very proud of you. But you don't need to do everything at once. I know you like Edward and Honey Cullen, but don't you think you should try getting another friend?"

Bella hesitated before she spoke; confusion just kept getting the best of her. How did her father know that she was spending time with Edward and Honey except for when she baby-sat for them once? On the other hand, she wanted to steer the conversation as far away from the Cullens as possible at that moment, so she forced out something else. She stuttered before she spoke, but then suddenly had the perfect distraction. "I do have another friend, Dad. From the bakery."

"Really?" he asked. "What's their name?"

"Alice," Bella retorted cleverly. "She lives on the Rez."

"The Brandons?"

Bella frowned. "Yup. How did you know?"

"Her parents are quite well known down at the Rez – they're proper business people, commuting to the city and all that. Seattle, I think they work." Bella gulped at the mention of someone working in Seattle. It was ridiculous that anything to do with Edward made her stomach do stupid flips over and over again. She attempted to ignore them plus the Irina shock and concentrated on what her father was saying. "Alice Brandon," he said with deliberation. "Nothing is ringing a bell, Bella, but I will do some digging in the office to see if they're okay."

Bella giggled, trying not to seem nervous although it was proving to be hard. She was still shivering. "Dad, you don't need to check the criminal records of a potential friend's family. Just… just be glad that I might have finally got one, okay?"

She wondered what her father's response would be to her abrupt assertiveness, but Charlie just ruffled Bella's hair. "I know, kid. I just want you to be safe, you know that."

Bella smiled weakly. "I know."

"It's been thirteen years now though, Bella. I think we're going to be okay."

"Yeah, Dad," Bella replied, but uncertainty still tainted her voice. She didn't know if she was going to be okay, but there was no point in wallowing in self-pity anymore. She knew that she had to move forward, and she was going to do exactly that. Yet there was still something terrifying her – in fact, at that moment, there seemed to be more things scaring her than not.

"Say, why don't you invite Alice over tomorrow night for something to eat? Don't worry, I'll let you have the TV; it's only the highlights on ESPN tomorrow evening, anyway. And you can order pizza."

"Sure," Bella replied.

"I think it would be nice for you to, you know, do something normal. Have a girly night or whatever they call it? I know you're trying Bella, but you obviously need some more time."

Bella hesitated at his words. In her mind, she didn't need anymore time – she was so eager to move on with Edward that she dismissed most of the progress lacking in her real world, not just her fairytale forbidden romance with Edward. However, her father might just have been right – especially regarding her reaction to Irina. "I'll call her. But right now I need a shower, Dad. The rain was cold. And then, um, I'm going to bed – I'm really tired."

"Already?" he asked, a little incredulous. It was only five o'clock and she hadn't had anything to eat.

"The bakery was busy today," Bella said, her voice sounding just as feeble as her excuse.

"On a Sunday? Well, okay, Bells. You sure everything's okay?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Okay, well, goodnight, kid.

"Night, Dad."

As soon as Bella entered her room, she instantaneously dropped onto her bed. She felt a bit sick. She wanted to go to sleep as soon as possible, to take everything off her mind. She needed to forget again.

After her shower, Bella wrapped a towel around her naked body and made her way over to her bed. She was too exhausted and shaken up to do anything else – even getting dressed into her nightwear. She still felt a little bit nauseous and disappointed that her favorite way of forgetting things needed to forget his own problems.

There was no point in checking her BlackBerry at that moment. She was sure that Edward had too much on his mind to deal with any other problems and she knew that she was just a constant reminder of how life threw crazy things at people. He didn't need that right now, even though she desperately needed him; just to see his face, at least. For now, she would leave the phone until the morning after Edward was back at work and was perhaps thinking a little clearer. The previous night must have been hard on him.

Even though she wanted so desperately to sleep and get things out of her mind, she found that closing her eyes that early just made her daydream more about things that bothered her, like Irina's eyes and laughter as she cornered her in the parking lot. Bella tried not to be scared, but it proved harder than she anticipated.

Instead, she got out a book. This time, she decided to read "Of Mice and Men" – a change from her usual romance novel. She needed a break from that world. She found herself enjoying the change in genre and warmed to the flawed character of Lennie. However, when the chapter came when Curley's Wife's neck was snapped, Bella couldn't help but picture the woman looking a little bit like Irina.

Her eyes grew weary as she tried to concentrate on the rest of the book. Then, Bella was asleep.

Edward could hear the rain pouring down outside his window which just accentuated how alone he was feeling.

There he was, sleeping in a pale white empty room – no decorations, no color – just an alarm clock – in a huge massive house that he had built for his family. Except, he didn't have any family anymore. He was just alone.

The meeting with Rose's lawyer had gone well – there was no evidence for what Irina and Rose had been saying, and he was let off the hook when he claimed Bella was just a babysitter. It was a relief, that was for sure, and his file for divorce had been done successfully. All that needed to happen now was for Rose to sign the papers, and then everything would be finished.

However, Edward still felt empty. Yet in other ways, he felt full; full of pent up anguish and fury at the fact that his "perfect" family had been torn apart.

Rose had come over in the morning to collect Honey as Edward would be working the next week and she didn't want her daughter to be looked after by Edward's PA whom had no formal qualifications in childcare. Edward knew that Lauren was one of the best people for looking after his little girl and wanted to add that at least she wouldn't fuck a man in the next room while Honey was sleeping, but he remained quiet and let Rose do her job. After all, Rose was Honey's mother and he could never take that away from her. He knew what being a parent felt like and despite how much hate he now had for Rose, he knew she was human, at least in the way that she felt about their daughter.

So now he was empty and alone. It was the feeling he had feared the most about the outcome of his separation from Rose, but he knew that it would come eventually. He just didn't know how much it would hurt – to truly be alone.

He had never been alone. He had always had Rose from the beginning, and even in the last few months she had still been there, and so was Honey.

Now, there was no one.

He couldn't sleep, not like this – it was impossible. He tried to think of happier times – with his wife, with his daughter – yet the only person that kept appearing in his head when he closed his eyes was Bella.

He questioned this obsession he had with her every day since they had met. He called himself foolish for letting himself get carried away with a young girl like her, but her soul was so invigorating that he couldn't ignore her just like that. She was pure, innocent, and inspiring. And she had the pain behind her eyes which he recognized in himself, and that, for him, made the connection undeniable.

So he switched his thoughts to Bella. Bella, Bella, Bella. It had seemed like ages since he had seen her blush – yet it was only the previous evening. He clenched his eyes shut, trying to become accustomed to thinking about her like he did most evenings, but this time he couldn't sleep; it wasn't working.

He tried tensing all of the muscles in his body, and then releasing them, trying to create an aura of fatigue so that his body might just fall asleep. He despised feeling like this; so obsessive, so empty without her, without Honey; just missing Bella.

Maybe he could call her? _No, don't be ridiculous Edward_, his psyche told him as he turned to his alarm clock and saw that it was 2.30 in the morning. Just a text then? Maybe that would give him just a little bit of consolation that he had formed some sort of contact with her since the night that the lawyers had been over.

One text, he agreed, would be fine. He pressed send as he lay back in bed, still wide awake and forlorn.

Then, his phone began flashing the little red light, alerting him that he had a new message. He smiled to himself as he clicked on his inbox, but was greatly disappointed to realize that it was just an email from a client. He ignored it and waited for Bella.

Ten minutes later, Edward's eyes were bloodshot with weariness. He had been staring at the phone and hadn't seemed to blink once. He was a disgusting old man obsessed with a seventeen year old.

_Eighteen soon,_ his psyche reminded him. But then he shut it away, still in disgust.

Impulsively, Edward sent another text, just in case Bella had decided to wait until the morning to answer him. He needed to let her know that he was still awake and needed to talk to her. It was pathetic on his part, but crazy with exhaustion, he was just about desperate at this point.

Another ten minutes later, he had given up. He tried ringing her to see if it would wake her up. He cared about her sleep, of course he did, but nothing seemed logical to him at that moment. If he was awake, she would be awake. Their pains were so in sync with each other that Edward just assumed a lot of things. He tried ringing her, and the phone rang which meant that it was still switched on, but there was no answer.

Finally, he had had enough. He sent her one last text before getting out of bed.

After what felt like hours later, Bella suddenly woke up to find herself still wrapped up in the damp towel and her room completely dark. She was still shivering, but this time it was just because she was still slightly wet from the shower, and her bedroom window had been left slightly ajar. She had forgotten to close it.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes so that she could see a little better. Something must have woken her up as Bella had always been a deep sleeper; as if she wished to block out everything around her that could harm her and sleep seemed the only way.

She then stood up to gain a little bit of consciousness, feeling her matted hair and cold body prominently. She looked around the room, a little apprehensive in the dark, looking for something that was behind her waking up prematurely. Through her peripheral vision, a little flashing red light caught her eye. It was her BlackBerry.

She moved over to it, her towel slipping from her as she moved. Her curtains were still open as she had fallen asleep too quickly, but her digital clock told her that it was three AM and so no one would be awake to see her naked body through the window. She was still a little bit shaken from the previous day, so everything was still like a blur, as if she was moving through the day with no soul.

She moved the cursor on her BlackBerry to see what was behind the flashing light to realize that she had three unread messages and one missed call on her phone. Since only Alice and Edward had her cell phone number, she knew it was probably some sort of emergency. Her heart started beating more outrageously.

When she checked her phone, she noticed that all three messages and the phone call were from the same person. They were from him.

_Hey, Isabella. How are you? I'm sorry about the other night and for not speaking to you since. How about now?_

Bella wondered what the urgency was for, and her heart thudded relentlessly. Then she opened the second message.

_Isabella, I know it sounds stupid and ridiculously desperate, but are you awake? __I think I just want to hear your voice._

Her heart fluttered at his words, and her previous fears almost melted completely away. She then opened the third message.

_Fuck it, I'm coming over._

She shook her head and laughed at the absurdity of his texts, but she was grateful nonetheless. Just when she was about to text him to say that her father was in and asleep but she still wished he could come over and that they could talk tomorrow after he had finished work, she noticed something outside of the window.

He was here.

And she wasn't wearing anything.

Granted, it was dark, still raining, and he probably wouldn't even be able to see anything with it being in the middle of the night, but that didn't stop Bella from slowly stepping away from her window and moving down to the floor and out of sight. Embarrassment was rippling through her whole naked cold body; she could even feel it fizzling in her fingertips.

Then, her phone lightly buzzed making her jump out of her skin. She crouched on the ground and then crawled over to her phone.

_I know you're awake. Don't worry – it's nothing bad. I just needed to see you._

The fizzling continued. Bella grabbed the nearest thing on her floor to cover herself up with. Not only was she embarrassed, but she was freezing, too. She grabbed the "Fork's High" sweatshirt from the floor and pulled it over her head. She then grabbed her flannel pants and put them on her cold legs. So she looked like a tramp, but at least it was something. She didn't want to keep him waiting – he had obviously been awake for a long time.

She sneaked down the stairs as stealthily as she could manage, her heart thudding as she did so, apprehensive that her father might wake up, and also wondering why the hell Edward was at her door at three in the morning. She was extremely pleased to see him though, even so.

She opened the door tentatively, and there he was. Her heart came to a halt when he gazed into her eyes, only the very slight moonlight illuminating his features, and raindrops dripping off his eyebrows and sliding down his face. He was painfully stunning to her.

"Edward, what…" she whispered, but her voice trailed off as he got closer to her.

"I…I'm sorry I woke you up," he murmured. "And I'm sorry I'm here in the rain. At _this_ time."

"It's okay," she said back, blushing, knowing that she had been asleep in her towel, and that it had fallen off when she had gotten up to look out of the window. However, when she looked into Edward's deep green eyes, she forgot everything else.

They both stared at each other, wondering what the hell to say next. Edward didn't know why on earth he was there now that he had woken up properly, but all he knew was that when he couldn't sleep, she was the only one he wanted to see.

As he tried to think more clearly now that she was standing there in front of him, and he was there soaking in the rain, he realized just how crazy he had become. He wasn't sure why. He knew that the past couple of weeks of seeing Bella had meant a lot to him, but surely he wouldn't be leaving his house at three AM just to see a seventeen year old girl who worked at the bakery? But the fact was he did. He couldn't sleep.

He needed her.

"I couldn't sleep," Edward whispered, worry pouring out with his words and his posture falling slightly.

"It's okay," Bella said again, sensing the uncertainty in his voice. She didn't know what else to say. "It will be okay."

"There's nothing anyone can do at the moment. It's only been Irina's allegations against me, and obviously there's no proof. Plus, we're separated now. I've filed for divorce – officially," he beamed, but then his smile faded.

"That's brilliant news, Edward," Bella said, but also failed to be happy for him when he still looked nearly as pained as he did when she had first laid eyes on him. She refrained from telling him about her run-in with Irina earlier on in the day; it would have been callous to bring anymore stress onto this man's shoulders.

"But why are you still sad?" she asked, timidly bringing her hand up to his head, yet confidently stroking the side of his forehead as if to comfort him. Edward found her slight touch consoling.

"Rose has taken Honey back to her parents for the time being until I can 'sort my shit out.' As a lawyer, I guess it's best for the time being as it doesn't sit well with custody battles that she's being looked after by my PA in the week. Obviously Rose misses her, too. Who wouldn't?" he laughed a little, but his face was still lacking something.

"That must have been hard for you," Bella responded, her voice shaking a little. It was cold outside in the rain, especially since her hair was still wet from the shower. "But it was the right thing to do. And…" she paused. "I'm here for you."

"I know!" Edward chuckled looking up into the sky, but getting more wet. In Forks, they were used to it. "At three in the morning! Fuck, I'm sorry Isabella. I shouldn't have come. I just…needed to see you. It's fucking weird, I know – the fact that I can't sleep so I have to come over here at _this_ time?" He paused to run a hand through his soaking wet hair. "But I guess I couldn't stop myself."

He paused and leant forward to grab her hand. "I'm sorry about everything you've had to go through. All my shit and, you know, with Irina and all that. She can be bit of a handful sometimes."

Bella tried to force a smile to pretend as if she wasn't worried. "Don't be sorry." She squeezed his hand back. "I want to… I want to be here for you…and help you."

"And me, you. I know I've probably been a bit of a hindrance to you, with Irina, Honey and…Rose. But I do care about you, Isabella. I don't know why, all this, all of a sudden" – he laughed – "in the middle of the night. I'm stupid. You must think I'm drunk or something."

Bella shook her head and smiled. "Nope. It's…kind of cool."

"Cool?" he laughed.

Bella held his hand even tighter and Edward's laughter lines straightened out and his face returned to sincerity. "This is crazy, isn't it?"

"A little." Bella couldn't articulate a brilliant reply, but she knew that she had to agree with him. Sometimes, she even thought that her and Edward's story outdid any one of her romance novels – although him coming to see her in the night certainly seemed like something out of a book, and Bella knew what was about to come next.

"May I?" Edward asked, his hand staying wrapped around Bella's, meanwhile his other hand moving up to hold the bottom of her chin.

To his surprise, Bella moved into the kiss before Edward did, wrapping her arms around his neck as if her life depended on it. And he was glad. Because he was depending on it; his sanity depending on _her._

They kissed outside in Bella's drive in the middle of the night, in the middle of the pouring rain—an unusual amount even for Forks— for what seemed like hours. Their fingers remained intertwined, as for one moment they forgot everything around them. For now, all that mattered was just him and her.

Edward was getting divorced – finally – and he knew that his daughter was in safe hands with her mother, despite causing a tiny hole in his heart which longed to keep her as close to him as possible. He also had this beautiful person who he had seen gone from a timid girl to an almost confident woman within a matter of weeks. And he was besotted with her and she made him happy, no matter what; no matter how shitty his life was becoming. Her innocence drew him in – she was untainted and _pure._ And she made him forget.

Bella was finally getting used to the outside world, with a lot of help from Edward. She had finished school, she had a job, and she had an avid connection with this unbelievable man that she couldn't help but be unconditionally and irrevocably obsessed with. All thoughts of Irina and memories of her mother's last night temporarily vanished when she was with Edward. She was finally…content.

They both forgot their worries as they embraced each other underneath the calming rain.

But what they also seemed to forget was that the chief of police, Charlie Swan, had been trained to be a light sleeper. And that his bedroom window looked over the front drive.

* * *

**A/N: Damn, Charlie boy. You're in for a shocker there.**

**So to thank me for managing to write during my A-Levels (hehe), you are now going to write me a review. Yes, you. Don't make me get angry Charlie! :)**

**And the new username for me on twitter is in fact _edieswan_. If you've already been following me under bondgirrl then don't worry, you don't need to follow me again. I'm still there. **

**Until next time...**


	14. The Birthday

**A/N: Here is the next chapter and I haven't taken a month to post it! Wahoo! I have my last exam on Thursday so after that I should be updating more often. Thanks for all the support with the exams! I've need it...**

**Anyway, enjoy the next chapter. Thanks to Parama for beta-ing this bad boy. It's a bit like I vomit angst.**

* * *

The sun was shining brightly through her window for once. There seemed to be birds singing a morning song, and everything seemed different; because today was different. Bella pulled her covers from her, swung her legs over to the side of her bed, stood up and genuinely smiled.

Today was her eighteenth birthday.

She looked at her alarm clock to see that it was 9:00 AM already, which was a little confusing as on every other birthday, Charlie had woken up before he had gone to the station so that he could wish her a happy birthday and give her a gift. However, she then noted her truck in the drive and assumed that was her present this year, despite being given it for graduation.

The last few days had been tough with Charlie. It was now Friday and they hadn't really spoken much in the week at all. Suddenly, Charlie was spending more time in La Push with Harry Clearwater and sometimes coming back after Bella had retired to bed. It wasn't completely unusual as she was used to spending time apart from Charlie as he was on the police force and was on call 24/7. This week, for reasons that she couldn't work out, Charlie had been somewhat distant.

She brushed it off as just a coincidence though, and concentrated on her upcoming birthday – the big one-eight. She saw that there was a piece of paper left on her bed before she headed down for breakfast. It was from Charlie.

_Didn't want to wake you. I'll be back at 4__:00 today. Don't do anything stupid, Bella. _

Stupid? _Her_? She frowned as she tried to decipher what her father had meant by it. He had never been concerned about what she was doing while he was work, so his words were a little curious, but Bella had been used to Charlie's weird mood in the past week, so again, she passed it off – even the fact that he hadn't even said "happy birthday"— as a coincidence. She had more important things to worry about.

Before she left the room, she remembered her BlackBerry that she had kept hidden in one of the boxes that Edward had given her so that her father hopefully wouldn't find it. She took the phone out from its box and saw that she had two messages on there. She read them while grinning.

The first was from Alice.

_Happy Birthday, Bella! Eeeek! I'm so happy we're both adults now =]! Can't wait to see U later! Last Monday was fun =] Have a great day before I get there! Alice xo_

Bella laughed under her breath. Last Monday, Bella had invited Alice over just as Charlie had requested for a movie and pizza, and to meet him to assure that his baby girl was starting to make friends finally, but for some reason he didn't decide to come home that night. So Alice and Bella had a great time together – gossiping about Jasper mainly, and eating ice-cream. Bella actually enjoyed their time together; she liked Alice and was glad that they were friends. She was also glad that Alice was coming over later when Charlie returned for her birthday.

She then opened the next message with an even bigger smile.

_Happy Birthday, Isabella. Welcome to the adult world! It's a little scary, but you get used to it. Sort of. Missing you. _

She beamed as she put the phone back into the box. She missed him, too.

Ever since that night that he had shown up at her house, things felt a little different; slightly easier, perhaps. It meant the world to her that even with his current state of affairs, he would still go to her house in the middle of the night just because he couldn't sleep without seeing her face. It was beyond romantic and Bella couldn't help but scrunch her face up in glee every time she thought about it.

She still hadn't told Edward about the Irina situation. She hadn't been out much in Forks, other than to pick up some groceries that her father had forgotten, so she hadn't encountered Irina again. There was no need to tell Edward if nothing was happening, right?

They had been texting and emailing all week since Edward went back to work. Some evenings when Charlie had been gone, Edward was able to call Bella on her BlackBerry. Bella found herself being completely comfortable talking to Edward now, even as much as with Alice. She didn't feel nervous anymore when she heard his voice; just soothed and positively contented. Thinking of him no longer felt wrong.

She'd found her solace.

And now that she was eighteen, legally she was an adult and she hoped that in Edward's mind, she was now an adult, too. Sometimes she felt as if he was slightly restrained; as if he was still holding back because she knew that her age bothered him.

Now, she was no longer a seventeen year old school girl who was too scared to even come out of the house. Now, she was a more confident young woman and she wanted Edward to know that. She texted him back.

_When are you back from Seattle tonight_?

She put the phone back in the box again and headed down for some breakfast, and couldn't help but wonder if Charlie had left her a little something – usually he cooked her some breakfast in bed on her birthday, so he might have done something similar this time, as it was her eighteenth, after all.

However, there was nothing downstairs. Literally. Her father seemed to have stopped buying food this week. It was particularly odd. Bella decided to ring him at work to ask him if he wanted her to pick up anything while she went to the grocery store.

"Chief Swan speaking, how can I help you?"

"Hey Dad, it's me," Bella said, with a slight question in her voice.

"Bells?"

"Yes."

There was silence at the end of the phone as her father waited for what she had to say. He didn't even wish her a happy birthday; instead he just remained silent.

"Um," she began, "I was just going to head down to the store and get some stuff for tonight."

"Okay, you know there's some money left in the jar on top of the counter."

"Yeah," Bella replied and bit her lip. "I was just wondering…"

"Are you okay?"

"Of course, I'm fine."

"Well, I'm at work at the moment, Bella. As long as you're just going to the groceries then that's fine with me."

She couldn't work out the sudden concern for her leaving the house. In fact, he usually encouraged her to leave the house as of her recent circumstances. However, she tried to just put it down to being tired.

"Oh," she stammered. " Well I was only ringing to ask if you wanted me to get anything for you?"

"No, Bella, it's fine. Just, go to the groceries and then come straight back home, okay? And it's just Alice coming over today, yes?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Okay, then."

"I'll see you later, Dad."

"Bye, Bella."

And then the line went dead.

Bella sighed and fell into the couch. She knew that her birthdays were always a little harder than other days of the year because of her mom. Her mom used to make a huge deal about birthdays and would go completely overboard. She'd buy balloons, invite all the family over to celebrate, shower Bella with presents, and even buy what she had called "special groceries". This is where she would buy cakes, fizzy drinks, chocolate, and _everything._

Ever since her death, her mom's family didn't visit Bella and Charlie anymore. It was too painful for them to keep visiting – Bella looked too much like her. Charlie's parents had died before Bella was born and he was an only child so there were no crazy aunties or uncles to visit her on her birthday.

Bella didn't mind, though. She was happy – just her and her dad. They didn't spend much time together, but they stuck with each other. They would share her birthdays together and even though her father wasn't brilliant with things like balloons or "special groceries", they still made the most of it and they remembered Bella's mom.

So Bella's eighteenth must have been especially hard on Charlie. It must have been emotional to know that he had raised Bella to adulthood for thirteen years without her mom. Bella decided to give him his space.

Shopping for groceries was morose, even when they were "special". Bella still wanted to keep the tradition up, despite it being juvenile. She wanted to remember her mom in a good light, despite the circumstances of her death.

Bella walked around somberly with her shopping-cart, trying to find something that might cheer up her father and something that Alice might like. She didn't know what they were going to do together: her, Alice and her father, so she picked up a movie as well.

As she took her shopping to the checkout, she looked up and saw a familiar face in the cashier.

"Oh, hey, Bella!" he smiled.

"Hi, Mike," Bella smiled back.

"Well, this is embarrassing," he said indicating the checkout. "Don't worry; this is just a summer job until I get to college. I'm not a full-time cashier – only the mornings in the week."

"Hey," Bella said with a surprising grin. "I'm not judging."

Mike laughed while putting her shopping through the till. "So why are you buying all this cake? Someone's birthday or something?"

"Something like that," Bella muttered.

Mike's smile dropped from his face. "Shit. It's yours, isn't it?"

Bella smiled.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. Happy Birthday," he said apologetically.

"Thanks. You know, you're the first person to say that in person today," she sighed.

"Really? Not your dad?"

"Nope," Bella replied. "I slept in too late – he had to go to work. He's coming back early tonight though. So I guess he'll say it then."

"Ah, right. So you're having a party?"

Bella giggled. "Um, no, Mike. Not really. I've got my friend Alice coming over at about three, but that's about it."

"Great," Mike smiled. "I'll see you at three."

Bella's mouth dropped open. "You're kidding, right?"

Mike finished putting Bella's last item in a plastic bag for her. "Well, I could pop over and give you a card or something," he shrugged after seeing her expression. "I don't know. Unless you don't want me to."

She didn't know what to think about Mike's proposal, but she remembered how her father's face lit up when he had found out about Alice…before the whole silence thing. Maybe one more person on her birthday might make him feel a bit better.

She smiled at Mike. "Sure, if you want."

"Cool," Mike retorted. "So, uh, see you then."

Bella handed Mike her card, paid for the groceries, and smiled at him before she left. She walked out of the store and looked around before crossing the road to where her truck was parked. She loaded the bags into the back of her truck, then for some reason looked around as if her subconscious was telling her to. From the far end of the parking lot, she could see a blonde woman sitting in her car with her sunglasses on reading the newspaper. Bella wasn't sure who it was and she wasn't even sure if the woman was looking at her or not, but it still made her heart speed up. She got in the truck and drove back home without hesitation.

At two-thirty, Alice knocked on the door.

"Happy Birthday, Bella! I'm sorry I'm early; I just couldn't wait to get over here. It's boring not being at school anymore. Plus, I wanted to see your face and give you this."

She presented Bella with a large box that was beautifully wrapped in what seemed to be crochet silver paper and tied with a purple velvet ribbon. Even the wrapping seemed too extravagant to Bella – she wasn't used to presents since her mom had gone.

"Wow, Alice," Bella exclaimed. "I really wasn't expecting presents. You didn't have to, honest."

"Well consider it a 'thank you' for doing me a favor. It gave me an excuse to go up to Port Angeles and do some shopping – my parents don't usually like it if I go more than once a week."

Bella shook her head in astonishment, but smiled all the same. It warmed her to know that someone cared enough to give her a present.

"Thank you, Alice," she said, delight lighting up her eyes. "I'll open it in a bit. You can help me get some food together first."

"Sure," Alice said and almost skipped inside.

Mike arrived slightly after three o'clock. Bella wasn't really sure what to do about him coming over – Alice didn't know him and Bella wasn't exactly the friendliest person. She hoped that it wouldn't be awkward. Fortunately, Mike warmed to Alice's outgoing personality straightaway, even though most of his attention seemed to be on Bella. Bella was glad that Mike was kind to her. Usually the jocks of the school would call her names in the corridor – "freak" and "vampire" were the usual jibes – but not Mike. He was something else and Bella found she was almost glad that he was staying in Forks to go to college through the fall. She knew that Alice was leaving for college in Seattle so it would be nice to still have a friend in Forks, if she could call Mike that. She hoped that she could.

They watched television for a while and they all seemed to get on very well as a trio. The food was a success which was good because Bella didn't eat much and Charlie preferred his steak and beer rather than sherbet lemons and coca-cola. Bella had cooked a steak for Charlie for when he returned from work. He was expected home at four, but when the clock approached five, Bella started to become a little worried.

"Isn't your dad supposed to be home now, Bella?" Alice asked looking at her wristwatch.

"Yeah, he must have got caught up in a case or something. Sometimes that happens," Bella murmured. It didn't happen too often – especially not on her birthday.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and it made Bella jump.

"That must be the chief," Mike cheered. "I need a break from talking about shoes."

Alice looked dismayed and a hand to her pretend-shocked face. "Michael. You just went a full ten minutes talking about your favorite Louboutins."

Alice started giggling when Mike brought a cushion from the couch and playfully whacked Alice around the head with it. They were special.

Bella just laughed at them before turning to the door, wondering why her father was knocking. He had been behaving so odd recently that she just accepted any strange behavior from him, such as knocking on the door of his own house.

However, the expectant visitor at the door was stranger than any of her father's recent conduct.

"Hey," sounded a musical voice. It was Edward.

Blood pulsed through Bella's veins at one hundred miles per hour as she stared at him in shock. He was at her house in broad daylight with her father expected home at any minute and Alice and Mike in her house just a few feet away. Not to mention that he looked absolutely breathtaking in his light grey work suit and his hair all disarrayed from the working day. Bella almost fully swooned when she saw him. It was weird that he still had this effect on her. But what the hell was he doing?

"Edward," she began, nerves hitting her full force, making her look around her drive and behind Edward for any sign of a police cruiser or a bitch named Irina.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to stay, I was just on my way back from Seattle and I thought I would drop off your birthday present," he smiled, handing her a small box tied with a red ribbon. Bella's heart sank.

"You don't need to," she said, hesitating about taking the gift from his hands.

"Go on. I want you to have it," he said. "I know it's nothing amazing, but I felt like I should get you something. I _wanted_ to get you something."

"Thanks," she murmured, feeling awkward accepting the gift from Edward. She was pretty certain Alice and Mike could see who was at the door as their banter had stopped and she could no longer hear them laughing.

"Well, I'd better get back home then," Edward said to Bella, and then leaned in to touch her face before he was cut off.

"Mr. Cullen," Charlie said. "I thought you were living in Seattle, these days."

Bella didn't see him coming. His car wasn't parked in the drive.

"Dad!" Bella said, alarm bells ringing inside of her head. She needed to think of an excuse as quickly as she could, even though she wasn't sure if she could hold herself together as the weak feeling in her knees suddenly increased eightfold. Then, she realized that Charlie knew she was babysitting for the Cullens on occasions.

Her voice came out as a stutter. "Ed – I mean Mr. Cullen was just wondering if I could babysit for him tomorrow night."

"Right," Charlie said through what appeared to be gritted teeth. Bella was nervous, but Edward remained unperturbed.

"Thank you very much for doing it on such short notice, Isabella," Edward smiled before turning out to the drive to face Charlie.

"You have a nice evening, Chief Swan," Edward said, before walking down the drive and back to his parked car. "Goodbye, Isabella."

"Bella, I don't think you're available tomorrow night. I'm taking you to the steak house for your birthday, remember?" Charlie said with an alarming amount of impatience. She didn't remember, but she knew to go along with it.

"Okay, Daddy," Bella replied, but then remained silent as she concentrated on what was transpiring between her father and Edward. They seemed to be exchanging some sort of look, as if Charlie was defending his territory.

"However, I'd like to talk to Mr. Cullen quickly so if you wouldn't mind going back inside for a bit, Bella – I'll be there in a minute. Heat up a steak for me while you're in there," he said, shooing her as if she wasn't important. But she immediately did as she was told.

Edward was suddenly apprehensive. What did the chief of police want to talk to him about? If it was going to be something about his divorce then he was sure that he would go crazy. However, as he knew that he was falling in love with the chief of police's teenage daughter, he was suddenly more seriously troubled.

Perhaps it was a stupid idea to go to Bella's in the day time on the way back from Seattle, but he couldn't wait until the weekend. It was her birthday, after all, and he just wanted to see her. He didn't see much harm in dropping a present by on the way back, but it seemed that he had caused more of a problem than he had anticipated. He really did do unintelligent things when it came to Bella.

Bella stepped back inside and pushed the door closed tentatively. There were tears brimming in her eyes as she did so. She was starting to piece some things together: why her father had been distant this week and his face as he had seen Edward at their door. Before his weird behavior, Charlie had been fond of Edward and spoken of him in a good light and was happy for Bella when she had baby-sat for Honey. Now it all seemed clear – his weird mood since last Sunday.

He knew.

She couldn't hold the tears in any longer.

"Bella, are you okay?" Mike asked from the couch.

Bella turned to Alice and Mike who were staring at her with concern and confusion. She couldn't even see them properly; her eyes were full of water.

Alice ran to her side immediately. "Hey girlie, don't cry. It's okay," she said, pulling Bella into a hug. "He might not know – it's probably just some sort of man talk. Don't worry, it will probably be nothing. I mean, how would he know anything except for Irina's stupid talk? Your dad isn't going to believe something that she said, Bella. Everyone knows that woman is a nasty piece of work – including your dad. Even if it was to do with you and Edward, I'm sure Edward will clear it up. It will be okay!"

Alice was rambling, but her words consoled Bella. She was only thinking the worst, after all. She was sure that Edward would reassure him that nothing was going on between them, assuming that was even what Charlie was talking about.

She ran up to her bedroom and looked outside of her bedroom window and watched her father and Edward talking. The conversation seemed civilized and from what she could see, Charlie was speaking calmly and Edward was nodding. She couldn't see Charlie's face, but it didn't seem like he was particularly angry. Bella's heart rate slowed as the two shook hands as Edward departed. Everything seemed to be okay.

She watched in despair Edward's car drive away from her house. She hated how needy she was because despite the dangerous nature of their relationship, she still needed him like oxygen. Seeing him turn up at her house like that felt so familiar, but also completely satisfying. She was falling for him harder than she had ever anticipated. It scared her because even her father's potential judgment of their relationship almost didn't seem to change anything. She would care for him no matter what.

As the car had left, she looked down and noted her father staring up at her from the drive. His eyes were serious and it made her jump. She immediately moved back from her window as if to pretend that she was never looking. Suddenly, her father scared her and she winced as she heard the front door opening downstairs and the greeting between her dad and Alice and Mike.

Bella walked downstairs and wiped the remainder of her tears from her face. She didn't want her father to see how his contact with Edward upset her. She was on dangerous grounds.

However, her father seemed more relaxed as he saw her. "Happy Birthday, kid," he murmured, as Alice and Mike watched the two apprehensively – as if the situation couldn't get any more awkward.

"Well, my mom's probably wondering why I haven't come home from work yet," Mike said to fill the silence. "So er, I'd better be going. I had a nice time, thank you for having me, Bella. Chief." He nodded at Charlie and then headed for the door.

"I'll see him out," Alice said, and flounced off with Mike leaving Bella and Charlie standing there, facing each other without a sound.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Bells," Charlie said, before walking over to the kitchen table where Alice had gotten his steak out of the oven for him. Even a beer was set up next to his plate. "I feel bad that I couldn't be there for your big day, but there's an important case going on at the moment. I'd tell you all about it but there's the confidentiality, ya see."

Bella stayed silent, expecting something else.

"And I'm sorry if I've been a bit distant this week."

Bella sighed.

"I do love you, kiddo. And sometimes you need to realize that a parent has to do what a parent has to do. It's difficult when there's only one of them, too."

She shuddered.

"Some things that parents do are for your own good. Sometimes if it seems mean, it's not. In the long term, it's for the best."

Charlie looked at his daughter's upset expression and suddenly felt a wave of guilt spill over him. She still only looked like a baby, and all he was doing was protecting _his _baby. It was the right thing to do, even though he hated seeing her looking so pained.

"About neglecting you in the week because of the case, of course. I need to set a good example of dedication to work, Bells." He looked apologetically at his daughter. "You understand though, right?"

Bella nodded but kept silent. She was glad that her father was talking to her again, yet she still seemed perturbed after the talk with Edward.

Charlie took a mouthful of his steak before turning back to Bella who was still staring at him. He smiled at her and his tone of voice suddenly loss some sincerity. "Oh, yeah. I was just asking Edward about something in Seattle – a crime he had been working on, also. It got a bit carried over to Forks," he explained vaguely and then motioned to Bella's face. "Stop looking like you thought I was going to shoot him."

Charlie laughed lightheartedly but Bella froze. That situation wasn't completely impossible.

"Oh," Charlie said before taking another mouthful of steak. "And he doesn't need you tomorrow, after all. He said he's returning back to Seattle or something. I guess you don't need the money, though. You haven't spent any money from working at Crumbs…"

Bella shook her head. "Are you actually taking me to the steak house?" she asked, questioning Charlie's words. He had seemed so certain when he had said it in front of Edward, yet now it seemed like a passing comment.

"Yeah sure, if you want," Charlie muttered.

He then went on to ramble relentlessly about normal things and how he didn't know that Bella was friends with the "Newton Kid" while eating his steak, but Bella had tuned out. Edward didn't want to see her anymore? He was returning to Seattle? She felt numb as she pretended to listen to her father talk about something she couldn't concentrate on.

"Bella?" her father said.

Bella snapped out of her trance. Sort of. "Sorry, what did you say, Dad?"

"What did _I _say? I think you're going a bit crazy, kiddo. Alice said she needs to get home now," her father laughed.

Bella tried to zone back into reality, but she couldn't concentrate. She couldn't believe her father's version of his conversation with Edward. There was something off about the whole thing and it was incredibly disquieting. Bella couldn't help but worry which meant that her surroundings suddenly became irrelevant.

After a second too long of silence Bella turned to her side to see Alice looking at her expectantly.

"Bye?" Alice said, waving a hand.

Bella quickly came back down to Earth. "Sorry, Alice. I had a bit of a weird moment there. I'll see you out. Sorry again," she mumbled. Her knees felt weak at the prospect of Edward leaving again. She couldn't get it out of her mind. It was as if she had just about put her mind at rest that he wasn't going to do that to her. However, now, she wasn't completely sure.

As soon as they were out of earshot of the kitchen, Bella opened her front door and Alice stepped outside and turned to her. "So Charlie didn't seem too bad…"

Bella laughed nervously. "I'm not completely convinced," she admitted. "I don't know what to do."

"Sleep it off," she said. "I'm sure Charlie will be fine later."

"I guess you're right. I just need some rest. It's just he said that Edward's going back to Seattle tomorrow, and it's the weekend…"

"Maybe it was a cover up from Edward? Speak to him? You still have your BlackBerry."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow at work. We'll have some fun since Tanya is out of town…again. We'll cheer you up, I promise. I'm sure everything was fine with Charlie and Edward."

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you tomorrow, Alice."

"And text me when you've opened my present! I know you'll like it – I just want confirmation," Alice smiled before turning.

Bella smiled. "Okay, I will. See you. And thank you."

"It's no problem, like I said, I do love shopping."

"Not just for that – for everything," Bella whispered.

Alice smiled and pulled Bella in for a hug. Bella was a little shocked at the contact, but she warmed to it. She felt secure in Alice's tiny arms. "Any time, Bella."

Bella went straight to her bedroom after Alice had left. She walked upstairs, taking her presents from Alice, Mike, and Edward up with her. She didn't even bother saying goodnight to her father – she almost felt angry about how he had been treating her; as if he was the one repelling Edward – making him go away again. She knew that if her worst nightmares came true, then he would have a reason to be off with her. But she didn't know that and yet it still angered her.

She sat on her bed with the presents and decided to open the one from Mike first. It was a stuffed animal from Piggly Wiggly. She smiled at the gesture and put the toy with the others on her bed. She read his card. His handwriting was scrawly and cute; she liked Mike.

Next she opened Alice's. She was careful not to destroy the packaging – it looked too neat and artsy. She pulled out the item of clothing from the box. It even felt expensive in Bella's hands. She pulled it out and put it in front of her – it was a deep purple dress, just like the velvet ribbon. It was strapless and around the waist there was a silver band with black jewels encrusted around the edge. It was stunning.

Bella would try it on another time, but for now she concentrated on the smaller simpler box that she had received from Edward. She opened it with hesitation after discovering that Edward might be going back to Seattle, but she was still eager nevertheless.

It was a bracelet. A charm bracelet with a single charm on it. A cupcake. Bella laughed at the choice of present, but it wasn't a mean laugh. She laughed because it was cute and sort of ridiculous. A cupcake? She then read the note inside of the box.

_I know you probably don't want to be associated with cake all the time, but the shop assistant said I should get you something meaningful for the first charm. I know it's a little ridiculous – you can change it if you want – but I thought this might mean more than anything else. Happy Birthday, Isabella. I'm so glad I met you._

She fingered the note left for her after putting on the bracelet. She loved it. However, when she smiled it was melancholy.

She went over to her BlackBerry box and saw that there were two missed calls from him and also a couple of messages. She read them, bracing herself for something bad.

_I'm just coming over quickly to give you something. Don't worry I won't stay long enough. We'll distract Charlie with some babysitting story – I'll be five minutes. Miss you._

_I'll be at yours in 10. Can't wait to see you._

The other message was sent an hour after the other two. It was obviously after Edward had left the house after speaking to Charlie. Bella breathed in before she looked at what the message said.

_He knows. He fucking knows, Isabella._

Her heart sank to the pit of her stomach. She wanted to scream out in frustration. She wanted to cry for Edward and the turmoil he must have been in after Charlie had spoken to him: his fear for his daughter and also his taboo relationship that he had with Bella. Of course he would want to get away from everything, to leave for Seattle and never return. There were too many risks. Bella could feel a tear slip down her cheek as she realized there was still one unread message in her inbox.

_I don't want to leave you. I don't know what to do. I'm fucking stuck. Cornered. Fuck, maybe this is just a sign that we shouldn't be together? That there are so many things threatening this, Isabella. __Your father said he would kill me if I ever went near you again. Maybe I should go back to Seattle tomorrow. I don't know. This is just so fucked up. _

Bella texted him back straight away, tears streaming down her face.

_Don't go. Please don't go.__ Not again._

She awaited his reply, sniffing and wiping her tears away, feeling the cool metal of the cupcake on her bracelet pass across her face as she did so. The little red light on her phone began to flash. Bella's hands were shaking as she opened the message.

_Come with me. _

* * *

**A/N: Will Bella go with Edward to Seattle and risk what her father will think/do? Or will she respect her father's words on how everything he did for her was for the best? Hmm.**

**Twitter people can follow me under **edieswan**. I also have a blog which is **edieswan(dot)blogspot(dot)com **on which I post teasers and other random drabbles.**

**And reviews are not necessary, but you know I love 'em.**

**Edie x**


	15. The Exile

**Author's Note**

**This update is far later than I intended and I'm very sorry! I've been travelling around Europe this summer and only when I got to Geneva did I have a bit of time to write. I'm back now but I'm moving from London to Plymouth (By the sea! And my very first OWN house!) in mid-September so everything is still busy but I will do my best!**

**Thanks to my beta, Parama, for Americanizing my stuff and her words of wisdom. **

* * *

Renegade thoughts were running through his head at an almost unthinkable speed. There didn't seem to be any logical reasoning behind his current behavior, yet irrational thoughts and premonitions were still transpiring. How was it that one person could make him act like this, despite his seamless repute for being conscientious, caring, and completely based on reason?

It was stupid, well, _he_ was_ being _stupid – at present, anyway. His character seemed to be surprising himself at every turn since four months ago when he had found Rose in his bedroom _in flagrante_. However, the text message had been the most unanticipated so far, even for him. He couldn't even tell whether his mind had even meant it or whether he had just become so desperate because he feared a loss. It wasn't a loss like a twenty dollar bill or even a lost investment – it was a loss of his solace; a loss of one of the few things that was urging him to keep on going.

He had Honey, and of course that meant the world to him, but Bella brought him a different kind of sanctuary and succor to his life. Edward had always lived for Honey, but Honey was a part of his family life with Rose. Although the association to his estranged wife didn't make a difference to his unconditional love for his daughter, he found that his extraordinary relationship with Bella was just about the only thing he could claim as his own: his personal delicate discovery.

Perhaps asking her to come to Seattle was completely unfounded, of course it was, but he was desperate. After that alarmingly terrifying conversation with her father, he became scared. All of a sudden, he was no longer the well renowned attorney with a confident facade and a brilliant persona; he was a scared little boy with no direction. Where was he supposed to go from here? It seemed specious to stay in Forks after a stern word with the Chief of Police, so Seattle seemed the perfect option. But was it right to leave Bella?

At first, yes, he had thought it would have been the best option: to leave her there before her feelings, like his, grew any more powerful or unfathomable. She could make a clean start; she had only just turned eighteen, after all. Someone at that age would likely treat it as a learning curve or a strange anecdote to use in a few years when recounting past mistakes. However, Bella was different. She was unlike anyone he had ever met and that, to him, was what made him send the text message. She was too exceptional to just leave behind.

Conceivably, it wasn't the best way to let her know that, despite the world being at odds against them, what with her father added onto the list with Rose, her lawyers, and of course the terrible excuse for a human being, Irina. On the other hand, it was probably an accurate manifestation of how serious Edward felt about this girl. It was strange how they could both feel this way so quickly and so suddenly. But how can anyone really explain the connection they feel to the person they love? _It just happens_, Edward thought, _and it just did._

He waited for Bella's response as he drove up to Seattle, relishing the long roads of nothingness that were calming his psyche. He wasn't sure of how he wanted her to respond; he just wanted to let her know that he was still going to be there for her, if she would let him.

Then, his phone made a sound.

_Edward, I know you're leaving and I know what my father said to you and I'm so sorry that it happened, but I think I'm going to stay with him. I can't go to Seattle. I'm all he's got. Bella x_

However so blunt, Edward needed it.

He almost breathed out a sigh of relief, but there was still a yawning pit in his stomach that was beginning to override the release. Was that _it_? Was he never going to see her again? Evidently, he would have to make a return to Forks at some point, but was her text a way of saying that it was the final straw for her? He understood the added drama he had brought to her life just at the time she was beginning to come out of her shell and experience the world for what it really was. Maybe it was for the best that he left her and that she stayed with her father. Yes, that's what she was saying. _She was slowly letting you down, Edward, after you've fucked up her life enough_, his subconscious harshly told him. He didn't know how much truth those words possessed, but he feared their veracity.

He pulled into the nearest motel and parked. He then buried his head in his hands and tried to cry.

Bella sighed after she had sent the message but in her view, there was nothing else she could do.

How could she leave her father after everything they had been through together? Obviously her heart and her mind belonged to Edward, but she couldn't allow herself to be so egocentric. She knew that her father would have never left her in any clause, so she gave herself no sanction to do the same.

She cried that night into her pillow, almost hating her devotion to her father that allowed Edward's lone departure. In a way, she felt selfish again, knowing that Edward had felt alone and that when they were together, she had helped to wipe that poignant emotion away. She felt melancholy as she remembered his pained look on the first day that she had met him when he had come into Crumbs, and then compared it to the look on his face after he had kissed her. She saw how contented she made him feel, and she knew that he made her feel exactly the same.

As she wept into her pillow, she regarded the bracelet that Edward had given her and she cried even harder. Why did everything with her have to be so distressing and complicated? For the first time since she had met Edward, she just wanted to be normal.

That night she dreamed of Edward Cullen. She dreamed of his touch and nothing else.

In the morning, she was awoken by her father. She was surprised that he hadn't left for the station yet.

"Bells?" he asked, standing by the side of her bed.

"Yes?" she replied.

"You have work this morning."

"Oh," she yawned, realizing that it was a Saturday. "Okay, I'm getting up."

Charlie moved nearer the door. "I'll make you some breakfast before you go."

Bella swung her legs over to the side of her bed before standing up uneasily. "Thanks," she said, blearily. She still possessed an element of resentment for him after last night. After all, something in her mind was blaming Charlie for Edward's egress.

"Bella, listen..."

Bella cut him off. "I'm not really in the mood for listening right now."

Charlie suddenly became enraged, but more shocked at Bella's tone. "Isabella Swan! Don't you dare speak to me like that, young lady!"

Bella's ire and annoyance with her father was still bubbling just underneath the surface. It was as if she hadn't even let enough emotion out yet, despite her outpour into her pillow the previous night. It was inexplicable. She loved her father and she cared for him very much, but she couldn't stand being treated like the reclusive ten year-old that he always perceived her to be. She had changed now and she didn't just _want_ her father to know that, she _needed_ him to.

"Dad!" she yelled, much to Charlie's chagrin. "You can't just tell me not to speak to you like that when you... when you know how much you've upset me."

Charlie knew what Bella was talking about as soon as she had begun to speak. "How much I've upset you? Do you have any idea how much it upset me to find that man – who by the way is effectively double your age – on our doorstep in the middle of the night doing God knows what with my teenage daughter! So don't even get me started on 'upset'."

Bella felt a tear slipping from her eye. "You have no idea what it is between us, Dad. You have no idea. It isn't like that."

"You're right, I don't have any idea, and quite honestly, I don't want to! And to be even more honest, Isabella, you're not who I thought you were. You were never the type of girl to lie to your father to meet an older man!" Charlie began to laugh in shock. "An older _married_ man!"

"I didn't lie, Dad," Bella said, crying. She hated how her father had put an emphasis on the word _married_. "I was babysitting for Honey, and, and..."

"Stop right there. I do not even want to think about the rest! The idea of you and him makes me sick to my stomach, Bella!"

Bella didn't know what to say. She was beyond frustrated as everything was finally coming out. "Stop it! Just stop it right now!"

"Stop being annoyed that my seventeen year-old daughter is secretly meeting a married man?" Charlie gave a breathy chuckle. "How did you think it was going to work, Isabella? Everyone knows you in Forks, and everyone knows Mr. Cullen. How do you think this reflects on me? I'm supposed to be the most respected man in this town – that's how I earned my position in the force! Did you ever think about that?"

Bella's tears were uncontrollable, but not as much as her anger. "For one thing, I'm _eighteen_, Dad, I'm an _adult_. I can make decisions and they reflect on _me_, not _you._ And, well... I don't know how it was going to work but I do know that it sure as hell isn't anymore, because he's left town! Just like you told him to!"

"Can't you see how good that is for you? You've finally ventured into the real world Bella, and I'm so happy that you've done that, but instead of spending all your time sneaking around with Edward Cullen, you can finally figure out what is good for you and what to do with your life! You know, sending you to work in Crumbs was not so you could meet a boyfriend! You don't even know what you're doing!"

"I know what I'm going to do with my life!"

"What? Be with _him_?" Charlie smirked in surprise. "Somehow I don't think that's going to work, Bella. This just shows how you're not ready for all of this yet. You need to get yourself a real life plan, like applying to college."

Bella almost growled in annoyance. "You think going to college would help me be ready? I can't think of anything worse! You know, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not ready. But the only time that I felt like I was, was with him. And when I was with Edward," – she nearly smiled at his name – "I was happy. Yeah, for once since Mom died, I was happy. Really, really _happy_!"

Charlie winced at the mention of Bella's mom. He then raised his eyebrow. "He made you that happy?"

Bella scrunched up her face to stop herself from crying. She wanted to prove to her father that she was serious about what she was saying and that she wasn't a little girl anymore. "Yes, Dad. I was really happy," she confirmed. "And now there's nothing I can do because he's gone."

Charlie put his face in his palm and refused to look at his daughter. Whenever Renee was brought into conversation – especially with Bella – something inside of his body s seemed to give a painful tug.. He had tried to pick up the pieces after the tragedy for his daughter without giving himself time to even grieve or deal with his own heartbreak. To hear that the only time that Bella was happy since then had seriously hurt him, despite his hard demeanor. He turned mostly away from her, wondering where he had gone wrong.

After watching his face as he contemplated, Bella noticed a tear form in Charlie's eye. He went and sat over on Bella's bed away from her and she watched him regretfully. She hadn't seen him cry for as long as she could remember, except for when her mother had died. Even then, it was brief and only because she had caught him by surprise.

Without delay, she wanted to reach out and hold him and tell him that she was sorry, but a stubborn teenager inside of her wouldn't let her go to him. She was still hurting inside from Edward's departure and she was determined to stand up for herself. She was standing her ground and she would not splinter.

"I'm sorry, Dad," she allowed herself to say. She inhaled to try and retain her composure. "I'm just...not a little kid anymore."

Charlie looked at her and frowned. Then he looked away again and rested his head heavily on his hands. "Don't you understand, Bells? You're so young and naive. I don't think I could go through with losing her all over again."

Bella's compassion for her father instantaneously returned. He was scared about losing Bella – just like he had lost her mom. After all, the circumstances leading up to her death weren't too dissimilar, in Charlie's mind, to how Bella was reacting now. But Bella couldn't just stay under her father's watch and orders for the rest of her life just because her father didn't want to be alone. She wanted to be there for him as much as she could, as he was there for her, but she stood by her reasoning that she was eighteen now, and it couldn't be helped. She was no longer his little girl.

Bella sat by her father softly, taking note of his fragility at this moment. She no longer felt any vindictiveness towards his judgment anymore; he just wanted his girl to be safe.

"Dad," she began. "I-I..."

He cut her off and surprisingly, he smiled. "It's times like these where I wish your mom was here to tell me what to do. She _always_ knew what to do."

Bella smiled back at him and almost felt compelled to laugh. "You know what, Dad? I think Mom would want me to be happy."

Charlie shook his head. "Of course she would. Any parent would."

Bella sighed. "Then why...?"

"Think about it, Bella. I've tried to see it from your point of view, I really have. But imagine being a father and finding his only daughter lying to him about seeing a man who is twice her age? I mean, I had to say something to him for your own safety. I know you're not going to agree with me, but these things are usually for the best, kid."

"Yes, but this is unusual!"

"You might think that now, but how can you tell? I mean, he's only just filed for a divorce, which kind of says a lot, doesn't it? I mean, I'm a man, Bella. There are times when men might feel alone and seek someone else to fill that lonely space with..."

Bella almost cringed, but she spoke before her father's speech progressed. "It's not like that, Dad. I know it's not. And even if it was, I've enjoyed the time we've spent together because before I met him, I really wasn't sure about easing myself into the real world, as you said. I know it's going to sound corny, Dad, but he's helped me through this. He's the reason why I wanted to keep going."

Charlie smiled and reached out for Bella's hand. "Well, I'm glad you've found that in someone. But can you not see things from my perspective and see why someone your own age might be better for you? What about that Newton kid? He comes from a nice family."

"You can't help who you fall for, Dad. And Mike is nice, but he's just a friend."

"I know, but at least I'm trying."

Bella laughed, but then her smile turned more serious. She became sad again and her slightly aggressive tone returned. "Well, you don't need to worry anymore, Dad, you see, because what you said to Edward worked. He's already on his way to Seattle."

"He's left Forks?"

Bella felt hesitant, as if she didn't want to believe it herself. "Yeah, I think so. Not forever…well, I don't know. I haven't really spoken to him since."

Charlie sighed, but in relief. Then, he paused for a thought. "Wait, how have you been in contact with him? Did he come in the house?" Charlie sat up in anger.

Bella shuffled uneasily, tugging her father's arm so that he sat down again. "Well, when I babysat and stuff, um, he kind of bought me a phone to say 'thank you'. Well, he bought me a BlackBerry."

"A _what?"_

"Well, it's kind of a computer and a phone put together, so you can pretty much do anything on it..."

"Bella, I know what a BlackBerry is. I am just astounded that he bought you one. Is he paying the bills for it, too? My God, what does he think you are, a wh –"

"Daddy, _please_!"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm your dad; it's my job to be protective of you, okay? I just want you to take it from me that someone that broken is not good for someone like you. You need someone you can lay your problems on, not shoulder their burden, too."

"Well, I'm staying with you, Dad," Bella managed to say, even though something inside of her was pleading with herself to go. She could still see Edward's face inside of her head which was making her constantly question to stay with Charlie.

Charlie sighed and put his hand on Bella's shoulder. "I'm not saying you have to stay with me here forever, Bella. I can see that he made you happy. But these people in Forks, well, they like to gossip. And I'm sure if I picked up on something, someone else will as well. You don't want people in this town thinking all this stuff about you, so it's probably best that it all ends now. Okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, maybe you should say goodbye."

"And go to Seattle?"

Charlie sighed and put his heads in his hands again. "Think of it as a compromise. I'll let you go and say goodbye to him – only when he returns to Forks – but as long as you agree to end it there and then. I'm still not too keen about you going to Seattle by yourself, even if you are eighteen."

"But Dad..."

"I think that's a pretty reasonable solution coming from a father with a gun, don't you?" Charlie laughed.

Bella's emotions were bubbling up again. She felt herself being pushed towards a brink, her tears reappearing in her desperate eyes. "I'll…I'll never see him again, I don't know… I don't know if I can do that, Dad."

"Bella, listen to what you're saying. I'm going to let you see him one last time – which, by the way, is a very out of character decision for me considering I want to kill the guy - so be grateful."

"Be_ grateful_? Dad, are you crazy? What if he comes back and he stays? He might not stay in Seattle and if he comes back, I'll still be here and…"

"Bella! People in Forks talk – and actually there are some people in Forks that are dangerous; you all of all people should know that. You need to say goodbye, and that's final."

Bella clenched her fists as hard as she could. "Everyone talks! All the time! Why do you care so much about what other people think?"

"You know why and don't you forget it. I don't want my daughter to be…"

Bella sighed in aggravation, cutting Charlie off. "You know, Dad," she said with tears streaming down her face, standing up in front of her father, determination apparent. "I'm not Mom."

She walked out of her room, slamming the door behind her. She didn't want to hurt her father, but she couldn't help but feel hurt that the death of her mom, in Charlie's eyes, had set out her whole life. She wanted a chance to be her own person and she was determined that one day she would be able to it without hurting her father.

She then wondered if she was going to cry again. She did as soon as her father left the room and went to work. She did in her truck as she drove to Crumbs, but by the time she got to work, she was finally all cried out.

Edward woke up in the morning to find himself staring at some dirty white walls. He sat up and realized that he had, in fact, spent the whole night at a squalid motel. Then, he remembered why and he fell back down into his bed of pity and recounted how his life had become so fucking messed up.

He turned over in his bed and leaned over to the dresser to retrieve his phone. He noticed that it was already 1 PM and there were small sears of light shining through the cheap window shutters of his room. He then returned his focus to his phone and noticed that there were two messages and three missed calls present on the screen.

The missed calls were from Rose, so he immediately called her back. There could have been an emergency with Honey.

"Hello? Edward?" she answered.

"Yeah, hey, Rose. Is everything okay?"

"Um, yeah, I was just ringing to ask if Lauren would be able to look after Honey next week since I have a couple of er, meetings to attend to and my parents are out of town. I will actually be in Seattle so I can drop her off at your apartment on Monday morning if that's okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Edward replied, perplexed about Rose's meetings since he knew full well that she was unemployed. He brushed it off, nevertheless, as he felt better when Honey was under his care, even with a little help from Lauren.

"Okay, good, well, Honey sure misses you. We miss you," Rose said, wistfully.

"Miss her, too," Edward replied groggily, it pained him to keep saying things to spite Rose. He wasn't going to lead her on again after what had happened last time. He needed to make it clear that there was no way in hell that he would ever even consider getting back together with her, and he certainly couldn't use the excuse that he had met someone else he valued more than her now, even though he had.

He hung up on Rose to think about Bella.

He was instantly pained again. He hated that he always managed to lose everything that he thought was so perfect. He had his perfect family, and then lost it. He had found his perfect cure to his pain, and then seemed to have lost that too. He had thought of so many ways that he could have saved his relationship with Bella. He could have been more secretive – hell, he definitely shouldn't have turned up at her house that night in the rain; it was far from vigilant.

Also, the issue with Irina certainly didn't help. He was sure she was up to something anyway, but ultimately it was Charlie's decision to keep them apart that broke the camel's back. Or was it even his? Perhaps it was Bella's? Edward had to consider it despite the conversation he had with Charlie, who mentioned killing him if he ever went near his daughter again. However, he was a father, too. He had to see things from Charlie's perspective. Even though Honey was young, he couldn't imagine how irate he would become if he was put in Charlie's position. In fact, letting Edward go like that was like a godsend compared to what Edward would have done.

He looked at his phone again and decided to read the two text messages, expecting them both to be from Rose trying to get through to him earlier. He was right with the first text; however the last one wasn't from her. Edward froze for a moment. It was from Bella.

_When are you coming back to Forks? B x_

Even though the words were simple, he could sense the neediness behind them. His longing mirrored hers, and he almost stroked the phone's screen to try and be near her through her text message. He was desperate, or beyond that even. Perchance he was right at the end of his tether. He needed her more than he could have ever imagined, and dreadfully sat there in the motel room feeling so regretful and contemplative over a text message. He was utterly ridiculous.

_Tomorrow. I miss you._

He smiled as he sent it, but he suddenly felt nervous, as if scared of what her response might be. He caught his tired and pallid reflection in the dirty motel mirror as he noticed the lines on his face becoming clearer. What if she told him not to come back? _Don't be stupid,_ his psyche told him. _She's an eighteen year-old girl – don't let her affect you like this. _However, he couldn't help it and his stomach felt heavy and agitated when he received a response.

_I miss you too xxx_

The next day went hellishly slow for Bella at work. Alice had been sick the previous night so it was just she and Tanya working together that day. Bella wanted so badly to talk to someone about seeing Edward that night, but she would have to make do going through with it by herself. She wasn't exactly going to talk to Mike about it – for some reason talking about guys with other guys made them feel a little uneasy. However, Mike would have probably been a better option than talking about her final goodbye with Edward to her father.

She didn't know what to expect. Edward would be returning to Forks to gather all his and Honey's essential items to take to Seattle with him before sending his PA to bring the rest of the stuff out and to auction off anything else that the Cullens didn't want or need. Bella understood that it would probably be too painful to keep coming back to this town which had hurt him so much, so this would be the final goodbye.

There had been many final goodbyes in her romance novels, yet Bella was not sure if this one would be like them. She knew that there would be a lot of desperation and, she hoped, a lot of physical yearnings. She couldn't stop thinking about Edward's touch from the moment they had experienced that electric shock between them. She had to admit that she had tried to pace herself and had often been nervous when she thought that their kissing would progress to something more, but that didn't mean that she didn't feel a longing for him to touch her. She had dreamt about it for a long time, but she was scared, just like any other girl with the same experience as her: none.

Sex was something that Bella had obviously only really considered since meeting Edward. Certainly, she had read a lot about it in her novels and it seemed to have a completely different spectrum depending on the characters. In some books, she would find that sex was just something treated lightly, as if people did it with whomever, whenever. Bella didn't see it that way. She preferred the books that represented it as a union of two people in love with a final connection to be established. She was upset that she would most probably never establish that connection with the person that she loved: Edward.

Sure there was that final chance when she saw him that night, and thoughts had been running through her head all day imagining what she would do if it happened. However, when she noticed the clock getting closer to the shop's closing time, she realized that she couldn't possibly be ready for something like that so soon. It had barely been two months since she had gotten a job and met Edward, well, met anyone she could even consider a friend. Yet here she was, contemplating making love with a married man.

But this wasn't a romance novel. This was her life and how she was with Edward. She was eighteen now – which she had to keep reminding herself – and she had the right to do as she pleased. If she felt ready later on, then it was a decision she would freely make. Perhaps this was her last chance, and she should make the most of it. As the clock reached four and Tanya told Bella it was time to go, her heart raced as she made her exit to her truck.

Her hands shook as she brought out her BlackBerry to let Edward know that she had finished work and she would be at his house in half an hour. Edward texted her back to say that he couldn't wait to see her and he would have dinner ready, made by himself, of course. Bella smiled at his caring words as she drove home to pick up some things and let her father know that she was going to say goodbye.

She had picked a simple white floaty knit dress to wear. It was a warm June evening and for once in Forks, the sky had been clear. The sun was beginning to set and despite the gloomy end that was approaching one relationship, the weather certainly didn't see it that way. Bella hoped that perhaps it was a sign that things were going to turn out alright, after all.

She let her long brown thick hair loose so that it descended down her ivory back in bouncy waves, rather than straightening it. She put some mascara on just to accentuate her long eyelashes, and a slight bit of blush to warm her cheeks up. She looked into the mirror and was pleased with her appearance, although she wondered whether it was a good idea to look her best when really it needed to be as easy as it could be to part with Edward.

She pondered on how much they had fallen for each other over such a small space of time. She didn't know how it was possible, but she didn't care. She slipped on some suede brown ballet flats and then she headed downstairs to let Charlie know what she was doing. She had even given him her cell phone number just in case he needed to contact her.

As she drove in her truck, she reflected on what had happened and realized that even though it was time for the end, Edward had helped her through an important transition in the most enjoyable means possible.

* * *

**Author's Note**

**I know that it seems a bit like this story is coming to an end, which it is, but not as fast as it's conveying. I would say we're about 2/3 of the way through. There is a huge part of the storyline still to come and lots more drama after the "final goodbye" (oh God, not MORE! - I hear you cry!)**

**Lots of people have recs in their stories so I feel a bit left out. I don't read much fanfic at the moment but I've been listening to Eminem's new album "Recovery" which is amazing. I've also almost finished the Vampire Diaries books which I have actually adored and in the fan world, I am continuing to love "Finding Bella" by my Twitter bud ekimmuh.**

**While you're waiting for the next chapter, you can follow me on twitter under edieswan, review (yeah? Go on) or just chill.**

**Edie :)**


	16. The Connection

**Author's Note:**

So here is the next chapter - it will probably be the last one before I move out! I loved writing this, but it was sad, too. I just wanted to portray a connection so strong and innovative (plus a nice lemon) and I hope I've done that! Oh and I was going to put some lyrics in this one but then decided against it. But if you wanted to know, I felt that Coldplay's "The Scientist" was a perfect song choice for this chapter.

Thanks to Parama for all the help and Ross for inspiration.

Enjoy!

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Edward saw Bella as she got out of her truck and slowly walked up his driveway. He carefully watched the way she walked and noticed how it was uneven, how it almost mirrored the way she had walked the first time he had met her. However, he couldn't help but feel proud about how much progress she had made during their time together. Now that he had to leave, he felt as if not only was he doing himself a great deal of damage, but to Bella too.

Edward paused before going to the door and waited for Bella to ring the bell. Bella also became hesitant as she reached for the bell, and looked around the driveway just to make sure no one was watching and to check that the situation was calm and quiet. When she finally pressed the white button beside Edward's front door, her insides were turning. As the door was opened, immediately the tension between them felt palpable. They both wanted to reach out and grab each other, but neither one knew how.

"I…" Edward began.

"You…" Bella started almost simultaneously.

They both let out a nervous laugh together before Edward locked into Bella's gaze. "I've just put the dinner on for us. Spaghetti bolognaise is okay, yes?" he asked her, wondering how obvious his nerves and apprehension were in his tone of voice.

"Yes," Bella said tentatively. "That's fine." She then took a gulp.

She was confused. She pondered on how they had finally grown so fond of each other and revelled in each other's company, and yet this was so incredibly awkward and they were both finding it so hard to truly speak to one another. Maybe they both knew that the end of their whirlwind romance was imminent, so why bother trying?

She followed Edward as he led her through his familiar hallway to the kitchen where she affectionately remembered eating before when she babysat Honey. She sat down in a chair that Edward had pulled out for her and there they remained in silence. She didn't quite know what to say or how to bring up that this could possibly be the last time that they saw each other. There was so much to admit, so much to conquer; and yet the only way her lips would move would be to purse together to stop some sort of drivel from spilling out.

She watched silently as Edward brought the food from the stove. Perfection, he thought as he looked at the meal he had just made, and yet he couldn't feel completely satisfied because he knew that in a couple of hours, Bella would be leaving. He moved everything out onto the plates and set it up in a way which proved that he was a natural cook, and then put them onto the table in front of Bella. He then sat down too, and they began to eat.

After a couple of minutes of silence Bella forced her mouth to say something. "This is delicious," she finally said.

"Thank you, Isabella," Edward replied.

Then, the silence returned.

Bella chewed her food slowly, looking down as she did so. She was worried that if she caught his eye or something, she might lose what she thought was her cool. As she continued to chew, she dared to let herself have a look at him. And just as she did so, Edward seemed to be doing the same.

Swiftly, Bella dropped her fork on the floor in surprise. The sound made a loud clatter on the kitchen tiles. Without delay, they both jumped down from their chairs to retrieve the fork, instantly touching each other as they reached for the suddenly important piece of cutlery.

Bella unexpectedly clasped Edward's forearms as they were both kneeling on the ground. Concurrently, both their heads rose to look at each other as if in sync already. Bella blushed, but also noticed how natural it seemed to be touching like this – as if she were born to hold him. Without noticing much, they seemed to have moved closer to each other, leaning into an embrace. There was no awkwardness now; there was just the electric current that felt all too familiar, yet still just as exhilarating and hitting at full impact.

"Please don't leave," Bella pleaded, her eyes wide with hope.

"Not tonight," he whispered.

"And…" she breathed in deeply. "You're not scared anymore? Of this? Of me?"

He gave a silent chuckle and leaned in to stroke her hair. "This – not tonight. You, well, I'll never be scared of you."

She smiled at him while he returned the equivalent expression.

He inclined more towards her and her breathing picked up straight away. His lips just brushed past hers, sharing his deliberate breaths with hers. They stayed like that for a long, long time. Edward seemed to be enthralled to be giving Bella something that she needed—something just as indispensible as oxygen. For most people, the stillness of their bodies, the silence, and the sustained eye contact – for neither of them had shut their eyes – might have been too much. It might have felt as if they had thrown themselves into each other's personalities too far, that they were losing definition and becoming a delicate part of each other before one kiss had even been completed.

"I think I love you," Edward finally said.

Bella gulped and looked at him, like a deer caught in headlights. Sure, she felt exactly the same way about him, maybe not very long after they had first met even, but to hear those words from his mouth was an unqualified revelation.

"Oh, Edward," she began.

"Look, you don't have to say anything. Fuck, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I don't know. It just came out of my mouth. I'm sorry," Edward admitted.

"Edward," Bella said again. Why was she so incompetent that she couldn't even say it back, even though it was so truthful that it hurt?

"Oh, love. What are we going to do?" he said as he stroked her hair. "My love."

"I…I don't know," Bella admitted. She still struggled to say something useful, even through Edwards words were melting her inside.

"You're not coming Seattle, I can't stay in Forks," he stated. "But I just can't bear to be away from you."

"I don't want you to stay away, I just…"

Then the silence came again. So she couldn't say those words, but surely she could show him?

Edward watched her as Bella crawled into his arms, wide-eyed and looking at him intently with her large brown eyes. For one second, he could have sworn that they were almost lustful, but he knew that they were determined. The thought of her excited him and the electric current made a return with full-force. He sat there with the girl that he loved in his arms and waited for the shock.

But he had to talk to her before this happened. They needed to figure everything out.

"Bella, Bella, Bella… love," he said, holding her arms. "Please, humor me for a second. What are we going to do?"

She pursed her lips and thought for a moment, even though she had been thinking about the outcome of this for longer than she would have wanted to. She was about as clueless as Edward. She wanted to tell him how she would die without him, but she would also die before she hurt her father. She knew that someone would hurt whatever she chose, so she tried for the easy way out.

"I…I just want you," she said and then noticed Edward shaking his head. "Please, Edward. We don't have a lot of time."

Edward sighed, almost admitting defeat; he had always been defeated by Bella. He knew that they would need to talk at some point, but Bella was right – there wasn't a lot of time. She wanted to love him and he wanted to love her.

Words would have to come after.

Bella leaned into him, her hair falling in front of her, which would have formed a curtain hadn't she impulsively tucked it behind her ears. They both stared at each other; love, adoration, and yes, it was definitely lust, Edward decided, radiated between them. He wanted to hold Bella so tight to him and never let go, but his arms were not moving from her face yet. As she leaned even closer, he grasped her jaw gently and let his thumb trace her nose, down to her lips, to sweep lightly across her chin and jaw line before pausing to look into her eyes. She was the most beautiful girl – no, _woman_ – he had ever seen.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as he made the final closure between their lips.

And a kiss had never been so sweet. Bella had been pretty sure that no kiss could have beaten the ones that they had shared already, even if there were few. However, this knocked them all off the chart. Their lips moved together as if made for each other. She sucked onto his bottom lip while he nibbled lightly on her top one. Soon, she was sitting on his lap, straddling him on the kitchen floor so that they could reach a higher level of contact, as if finally realizing that kissing wasn't enough.

Edward held onto Bella's hips firmly as their kissing intensified; her hands wound deeply into his hair while his mouth was firmly attacking hers in a very lustful manner. She clawed at him and became breathless as she peppered more and more kisses onto his lips. She couldn't get enough of this man beneath her, and she definitely didn't want to. She needed to taste him as much as she could before it was too late.

Similarly, Edward was having parallel plans. He wanted her in more ways than he could have imagined, but he would settle for anything just as long as it was with her. As her hips got closer to his and her legs wrapped forcefully around him, he found it impossible to keep his evidence of longing at bay. He knew what had happened last time after his hand had brushed past Bella's breast – she was scared – yet this time she appeared more forceful and demanding. But, he still didn't want a repeat of what had happened, so he tried to keep her hips and pelvis from grinding into his crotch area, which seemed to be what she was attempting to do.

"Isabella," he moaned in between their kisses. It was proving so hard not to give into all his wildest desires and not take the woman that he loved there and then, on the kitchen floor. That specific thought wasn't exactly helping matters, though.

"Edward," she replied, desperately. She didn't want to waste time talking when she could be kissing him like this. She looked at him, hesitated and then went to intersperse kisses onto his neck. Edward was pleasantly surprised at this action of hers, yet he could still sense her tentativeness. He knew that taking this too far could hurt her, and he didn't want her to get the wrong idea. He didn't want her to think that he was trying to get some sex out of her before he left, even though making love, rather than just "sex" was constantly on his mind. He wanted to make love to her, but he also wanted to just love her – and for her to love him back. And if that meant resisting, then he would resist her as far his body would physically let him.

"Isabella," he breathed and then groaned as he felt her breasts press into his chest. "It's okay, you don't have to…"

She stopped immediately, her doe eyes spacious with discontent and rejection. "You don't want me to?"

He smiled at her and stroked her hair which had already become tousled and even a little damp from their incessant kissing on the floor. "Of course I want you, you silly girl. I…I love you," he replied. The words felt more right on his lips the second time that he said them, but he was worried about Bella's reaction as she didn't return his words the first time. He knew that she felt the same way, but she wouldn't say it.

"Then why…" her voice trailed off.

"I'm just saying you don't have to… do anything if you don't want to. This is our time – we spend it how we want. You can do whatever you want. If…if you just want to kiss me on this kitchen floor all evening, then that's totally fine with me. I want to do what you want to do. I just don't want you to do anything just because you think it will please me, Isabella."

She gave a slight grin and then bit her bottom lip. Instantly, she was confident again and leaned closer to Edward so that her lips were a centimetre away from his. "I do want to kiss you all evening," she admitted. "But maybe somewhere else. The kitchen floor is a little cold."

Edward grinned back at her and then ruffled her hair, before moving his hands down her bare arms. He could feel her goosebumps as he did so. The electricity was still so apparent, which excited them both. He decided to play on Bella's new found confidence. "Okay," he said. "Lead the way."

Bella attempted to gulp subtly, but she wasn't sure if it had worked. Edward was asking her to take the lead which was something that she wasn't used to yet. She was still a little embarrassed at Edward stopping her attempts at being a little more…sexual, yet she was also confused by his words. He was acting as if he wanted to be more intimate with her, and yet suggesting that she didn't want to. It was as if he still expected her to be the little timid recluse girl that he had met in the bakery two months ago. However, she certainly wasn't that girl anymore.

She knew that when she was kissing him in that moment, there was an obvious force that was gluing their bodies together and she knew that they also physically needed to be together. She wanted everything to be proper and she wasn't going to let her inherent fears make her let it all pass. It was essentially one of the last chances that they had to be together after her argument with Charlie, and she wanted to prove Edward wrong about her intentions. She had read enough romance novels to realize that she was ready for this kind of thing.

"Okay," she whispered determinedly, and then she took his hand and led him from the kitchen floor and out of the room.

She passed the living room which Edward found strange as he expected her to move to the couch. There was no way she would go for his bedroom after what happened there last time.

However, Bella passed the couch and continued to move in the direction of his bedroom. He fought the urge to rub his eyes, just to make sure he wasn't in a trance or a dream; he had had many sexual dreams that had began this way with Bella. But this time, it wasn't a dream and this was real. Isabella Swan was leading him into his bedroom: the room that belonged to no one else but him for as long as he could remember. He never took anyone in there, not on purpose anyway. Bella and his wife had both surprised him the last time they were in there and those had both been very different surprises.

Bella looked at Edward's face for judgement as she took him there. She was waiting for him to stop her, to tell her that she was going too far. He had told her how much he had liked his room untainted as it was the only place he could be himself and forget everything else that had happened. He had also mentioned that he liked it less since his wife had disturbed him in there once, even though he never went into any details. But Bella wanted to make that feeling go away. She knew that Edward would not be staying there for much longer, so perhaps they could share one happy memory to go with the house when Edward left. However, she couldn't work out Edward's reaction. He could let go of her hand and tell her to stop at any minute.

But he didn't.

She stopped as she got to the door, still awaiting his response. She had brought them this far, but now the ball was in his court. She needed him to let her know what would happen next – after all, she had absolutely no idea. Was she really going to go through with this?

Edward stopped too, to pause and to think. He didn't know what Bella wanted him to do. He didn't know what would be considered going too far. Did she just want to go on his bed and kiss? Or did she have something else in mind?

Then, he took the initiative. They had limited time together and he wasn't going to waste it. He took Bella in his arms and laid her on the bed indomitably, but not forcefully. They fell together gracefully onto the malleable white sheets and he kissed her with all the passion that he possessed. He held her as they shared breathless kisses.

Edward ran his hands up and down Bella's body and she didn't shudder once. If she did, it was merely out of pleasure. Fear seemed to seep out of her this night; she was no longer scared of Edward's physical attempts anymore. When Edward's fingertip brushed past her breast this time, she didn't shy away. Instead, she kept kissing his lips fervently and arched her back to encourage his physical advances.

After a while, Edward sat up, still holding Bella and their lips remained attached. He pulled her closer so that Bella was yet again finding herself straddling Edward. Her knit dress had ridden up so that it was at the top of her thighs, meaning that her cotton panties were the only thing guarding her from Edward's large manifestation of his growing lust. Bella looked down, eyes wide with astonishment that something she had so often read about was happening in front of her. Her heart thudded wildly; she was scared…but excited.

Taking a deep breath and thinking about what the girls in her novels would do next, she put her hand onto Edward's chest lightly and then looked intently into his eyes. They were hooded heavily with lust and need, and they just willed Bella to go even further. She now felt like one of the girls in her books –they shared the same need for the same thing: she wanted to be as physically and emotionally close to the object of her affection as possible.

She began to move her hand down Edward's chest, sheepishly and slowly. Edward's breathing hitched as he tried to fathom what Bella's true intentions were. He didn't stop her as she moved her hand closer to where he wanted it, but he was cautious. Bella's hand started to shake as it passed the last button on Edward's shirt and then felt the warmth of his skin and the bronze hair on his stomach. She shivered when she realized the full implication of what was about to occur. She was terrified, but in a good way.

Suddenly, she felt Edward's hand grab her wrist firmly. Perhaps he's going to guide me, Bella thought as he held her wrist still before it got to where she really wanted to touch him _there_, even though she was satisfied with touching him anywhere. Before she could move it any further, Edward held her wrist tighter. "No, Bella," he murmured.

Bella's wrist became limp in Edward's grasp as she suffered the second rejection of her advances. She knew that she didn't have any experience in this kind of thing, but she didn't think she was doing much wrong. But what did she know? Obviously she wasn't doing anything right.

"But…" she said. "You… you can show me?"

"Isabella…it's okay," he whispered before kissing her lightly on the lips. "I don't mind if you just want to do this," he murmured into her ear before tracing his teeth down the side of her jaw and then kissing her forcefully causing her to fall back into the bed again.

Bella wriggled beneath him as if to signal him to stop. He did so immediately.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked her.

"I want to…" she started. "It could be the last time… we might not…"

Edward sighed as he fell against her. "Isabella, I want to make love to you so much that it hurts. But I can't – it just doesn't seem right." He saw Bella turn her face away from him a bit, as if she were about to cry. "I didn't mean it like that." He looked at her again. "Ah, fuck."

"Look, when we kiss and when we…touch, it feels like the most right thing in the world, Isabella. But I don't want to make you do something if I'm not completely sure that you're ready."

She turned away from him and paused for a moment.

"I think… I think I am ready…for more," she said after a while, with added determination. Then she seemed hesitant about what to say next. "I just want… to love you."

She saw Edward put this together slowly in his mind, and then she saw actual tears come to his eyes. Edward had been brought up to think that he was never allowed to cry – tears weren`t manly – no matter what happened to him. He was supposed to remain strong and composed. But he sat up and turned his back to Bella now, and it seemed that he was breathing slowly and deeply for a very long time.

And then he picked her up and she held on tightly to his broad shoulders. He lay her down tenderly again. He looked into her eyes as she looked lovingly back into his, which made him say, without thinking, "Isabella, tell me what you want me to do. Even if it's impossible, I'll do it. I swear it. Tell me."

All the words that Bella wanted to say were lodged inside of her, as if just beyond her lips. Her eyes spilled tears, which Edward dabbed off with his fingers, as if he could ruin a priceless painting by touching it too roughly.

Then Bella turned her face up to look at him, her eyes wide and almost ochre in the setting sunlight that was passing through the window of Edward's bedroom. She then shut her eyes and then pursed her lips slightly. She wanted to kiss him again. Edward groaned.

"If I start now, I'm afraid that I will lose control. I know how much you have progressed, Isabella – I have seen it with my own eyes. But it's only been two months since you have started experiencing life, love. I can't take advantage of you. I won't let myself."

Her eyes willed him on. Her body willed him on. She traced the hemline of his collar on his shirt and bit her lip. It was suggestive in the most modest way, but completely irresistible. She followed her finger slowly with her eyes, and then she looked back at him.

"I can't…"

She gazed at him with pleading eyes – the eyes that had lured him in on the day he had first met her; the same eyes that had carried so much pain and disorientation now only contained longing and love. If she could have spoken at that moment, he was sure that she would have told him that she loved him and would do anything for him, and that he should do that same.

He couldn't feel anything but the same for her. He had tried to feel hatred after she had made the conscious decision not to see him anymore, but then again, he was a father. He admired Bella for putting her family first.

So if this was their final goodbye, then he wanted to make it perfect for her.

Edward took hold of her arms as they sat up on his bed and he pulled her in close again. He could feel the energy rushing between them, as if the electric shock could get no more electrifying. He could feel the warmth of her, the sweet softness of her body. She was still waiting, but this time her eyes were closed again and waiting for a kiss.

_We could start all over again,_ she thought hopefully, as if they would bring them onto new ground.

_How bittersweet,_ Edward thought as he pulled her as close as he could. He wanted to hold her hard and he wanted to kiss her until she trembled. He wanted to make her melt and swoon with passion.

He knew that he could do it, too. Not just because he had learned a thing or two about women in his life, but because ultimately, he knew Bella. They had become one at heart, practically one soul.

"Please," Bella whispered.

But she was so young now, so vulnerable in her pure white dress and her creamy skin flushing pink in anticipation. It couldn't be right to take advantage of someone like that. However, it was starting to feel just. It had always felt just, but now it was definitely just – in both their minds.

He kissed the top of her silky head. He kissed downward from there, only avoiding the little rosebud mouth that was still puckered in lonely supplication. "I love you," he said twice. He found that he was holding onto her a little too tightly and feared crushing her ribs and tried to let go, but Bella held on as tightly as she could, holding his arms to her. Her look was still the same: childlike and trusting – but still stubborn.

Edward stared at her for a moment. Then, with a sort of wildness in his heart, he fell on the little sweet mouth and kissed it breathless, kissed it until he himself was so dizzy that he had to let her go, just an inch or two. Then he looked into her eyes again. A person could lose themselves in eyes like that, could fall forever into their sparkling brown depths. He wanted to, but more than that, he wanted to show her something before they both fell.

"I want to show you something Bella, before you and your hand go any further," he grinned. "But you have to promise me that you want this," he muttered, embellishing her with little butterfly kisses.

"Yes," she breathed. She was positive about that. "I promise."

He felt a shiver go through her body. He saw her chocolate eyes go misty, half closing. Then, he reached for her dress.

Slowly, he moved it over her and lifted the hem of the dress up, so that it was merely skimming the very top of her upper thigh, if that. He kept his eyes on her, however, and slowly reached around to cup her behind. He watched her response, and waited for her to run, but she didn't. If anything, she seemed to be willing him on to go further, as she herself reached for one of his shirt buttons to disengage it.

Gradually, Edward became shirtless. Bella gazed at his torso, realizing it to be even more perfect than she had ever dreamed it to be. She traced down his pectoral muscles and wavered slightly across his chest hair in the middle, while he pleasurably moved his hands beneath her dress and across her stomach. He paused before he got to the hemline of her panties, but then decided on touching her through her clothes.

She gasped, but it was a pleasurable gasp. He rubbed her repeatedly as she clasped tightly to his shoulder, finally realizing the pleasure that all the girls in her novels had felt. She almost understood what it felt like to be them. And she was absolutely elated that the person who made her feel like this was the man that she loved so much that it hurt.

Edward paused for a moment, but only because Bella held his wrist like he had done to her earlier. It wasn't to stop his actions, however momentarily, but instead she brought his hands to the top of her dress, and then moved them down as if to signify that she wanted Edward to do something with the sleeves of her dress.

He paused before he did anything, to contemplate asking Bella if she was sure that she wanted him to remove her dress, but they didn't have time to waste anymore. He knew what she wanted and he would do whatever she wanted.

Slowly, he lifted the straps of Bella's dress from her shoulders, leaving them bare. Even the innocence of her bare shoulders seemed to drive Edward wild. He slowly brought the dress down even further, sliding it down the length of her body, watching her eyes at the same time. When he had brought the dress past her feet, he stopped himself from looking at Bella's body. Instead, he took his pants off, mimicking her actions to remind her that he was one with her, and then crawled back over her.

They embraced each other again; this time only thin strips of material shielded each other from their bodies. Bella wanted Edward in this way, but she was scared when she felt his want harden against her stomach. It didn't take her long to get used to that feeling, but she couldn't help but be worried about what exactly Edward meant by "showing her something". She still knew, however, that it would be good, whatever he showed her.

After another monumental kissing session, Edward moved his hands to Bella's back and to the clasp of her simple white bra. "Yes?" he whispered into her ear.

"Yes," she confirmed with a breath. She seemed shaky, but inside she wanted it more than anything: to be as intimate as possible with Edward.

With one try, the clasp opened. The bra fell from Bella's body swiftly and was carefully discarded next to the bed.

Edward took a moment to marvel at the beauty of Bella's breasts. He wondered how someone so slight and slender could possess such wonders as these. He cupped one in his hand and Bella gasped, but Edward, with consent, silenced her with a kiss. Abruptly, Bella stopped the kiss but put her hands tightly into Edward's hair. She held on tightly.

"Show me," she breathed.

"Now?" he said with ragged breath.

"Please," she whispered and kissed him again with force. Edward took that as an eager "yes".

Without further hesitation, Edward moved his hands to Bella's heat which was becoming more apparent as time progressed. He touched her there and she moaned as his hand skimmed over where she was suddenly needy for him to touch. She had wondered why the girls in her novels had been so desperate, but now she felt as if she was the most desperate out of them all.

"Now," he whispered raggedly into her ear.

"Please," she repeated. She needed this now – Edward had taken her so far that it would have been completely unfair to stop at any point now.

Edward moved the barrier that were the bottom of her panties aside and placed his fingers on her skin so that she would get used to the feeling of him touching her there. He traced where she was feeling up and down and then, as she breathed in tightly, his fingers slowly entered her.

She writhed beneath him as even just the pleasures of the beginning were almost too much for her. But there was no time. She needed him, and she needed him now.

"Now," she begged.

Edward wasn't going to argue with her any longer. He tugged lightly on the side of Bella's panties and Bella lifted her hips so that he could ease them off. She watched him intently as he did so, watching his eyes for judgement. However, she soon couldn't concentrate as Edward was removing the final barrier between them.

Seeing Edward naked was as daunting as it was fantastic. She found herself mesmerized as an image of perfection was there before her, about to make love to her.

He parted her legs lightly and positioned himself in between. Bella's heart began to beat at one hundred miles per hour, sending a pink colour to the surface of her skin and an incredible amount of heat to every part of her body. What was happening to her?

Then Edward was above her, leaning on his forearms, moving his mouth back to hers. She could feel him brushing past where she seemed to want him the most. He was so close, and yet he seemed hesitant as if unwilling to hurt her. But she trusted him – she wanted him more than she had ever wanted anything else in the whole entire world.

Then, he entered her.

She moved beneath him and they moved together slowly.

She made little cries of pleasure as Edward brought her a new feeling that she had never experienced before. Everything inside of her – all her worries, the stress, her apprehension, and the love that she wanted to give Edward— were building up within her and she felt as if she were about to burst.

She became worried, as if something bad were happening, but she felt so good that she couldn't tell Edward to stop. She tried to sit up as she panicked. Edward held her against his chest and she felt their naked bodies pressing and moving together, a thin sheet of sweat formed on their bodies. She felt safe with him. She didn't need to worry about this feeling. Edward was showing her something and she was safe with him. He was all that mattered to her at that moment and suddenly, everything fell apart.

Inside, she was coming undone. Everything was spilling out of her as she came down from something so out of this world that she didn't know if she was dreaming or not. All her worries – everything – came out in loud cries as a pleasurable release rippled throughout her body. Edward muffled her screams with his kisses – his kisses covered her everywhere – and she fell into him uncontrollably.

A smile crept against her face as Edward held her, stroking her damp hair as she breathed into his shoulder. If he hadn't been holding her, she was sure she would have fallen down and not been able to move.

"I love you," he whispered again.

As she breathed heavily, her breathing turned into weeping as she leaned into his chest. "I love you, too."

* * *

**Author's Note**

Let's keep this copious amount of love going in the form of reviews and tweets (_edieswan_)

More drama to come!

NB: I do not promote unprotected sex. This is just fiction – condoms should always be used.

Love, Edie xxx


	17. The Danger

**Author's Note:**

I've been shit, I know. RL took a MA-hu-SSIVE turn just after I updated the last chapter and things have been hectic ever since (I started university, decided I hated the course (Law, eurgh) so left to take a year out for work, got a million jobs, applying for university again for next year etc etc) and I've literally JUST settled down and moved back to London. So huge huge huge apologies!

Thanks to Parama for still beta-ing this even though I've been MIA for like, two months at least. Thanks for all the readers that haven't given up on this story! I love you!

So, on with the chapter. It's a bit of a strange one, but it takes a sharp turn at the end. Hope you like it!

* * *

"Ssh," Edward whispered into Bella's ear as he cradled her slightly. "It's okay, love."

But Bella would not stop crying and Edward didn't know why. He knew that it must have been an emotional time for her and it was for him, too. However, her crying was worrying him and he was suddenly panicking. Had he hurt her? Had he upset her?

"Isabella," he whispered again, trying to soothe her as much as possible. Guilt came over him as he pondered on whether he had gone too far.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," he tried, hoping that using the name that others called her might calm her down. But it didn't.

She wasn't just sniffling into his chest, no, she was properly crying; actual sobs were coming from her. He held her face gently and brought it out from hiding in his chest. It pained him to see her face so tearstained and indignant. "What's wrong, love? Please, why are you crying?"

She sniffed a few times before finally answering. It was hard to make out what she was saying when she was crying so much. "Everything…everything is just going wrong," she sobbed. "Everything was so perfect….and now, well, it isn't."

Edward rubbed her arms, still holding her to his chest. "Isabella, I am so sorry. I thought you wanted… I wasn't sure… I'm so sorry I did that. Oh God, I'm _sorry_."

"_No_!" she screamed, which startled Edward. "_That _was perfect. _That _was everything I could have ever wished for. It's just now, we can't ever do _that_ again. Never."

He sighed and pulled her back into his chest. "Oh, Isabella…" he sighed. "Don't say such silly things."

She sat back, and pushed away from him. "Well, what do you want me to say, Edward? We love each other and we can't be together. You know, I may not have any experience with this kind of thing, or even know anyone who has, but I've, well… Oh God, this sounds so _stupid_…"

Edward reached out to touch her hand. She didn't hold it back, but she still didn't push him away. Instead, she sighed deeply.

"Look, I've read enough books to know that there have been many situations like ours, and everyone always ends up okay. So I thought I could try and be with you, because everyone ends up okay, don't they? But us? Why can't we? Why does nothing ever go right? I just want to love you, I want people to accept me and us, but it's not going to happen!"

"And why is that, Isabella? You say you love me and that you want to be with me, so why won't you? Think about all the risks I've taken for you and you just gave up, just like that!" Edward boomed, hurt and angry at Bella's revelation.

Bella was shocked at how Edward shouted and became slightly scared, but still resentful. "Edward, you know about my mom, my dad… I just can't put him through all of this, this… this shit! I've been so selfish from the start. He's been through so much and I'm all he's got left… he's… he's just been through too much…"

"After all your dad's been through? You – selfish? Really, Isabella?" Edward said, his voice rising again. "Will you stop just thinking about your dad for once?"

"You know how important my family is to me! Before you…he was all I had."

Edward sighed, trying to grab Isabella's hands, but she pushed him and turned away, sobbing. "Look, I didn't mean it like that. But he isn't the only person involved in this. In fact, from my point of view, this relationship is only between two people – you and I. No one else should matter."

Bella tried to come up with some sort of argument about how it wasn't going to work, but she couldn't. She wanted to tell Edward to leave her alone and that she hated him, but every time she tried to bring the words to her mouth, they wouldn't come out. She wanted to push him away, but every time she held her hands up to shove him and leave, she was too scared that they, of their own accord, would pull him in for an embrace because really, she cared about him and he was telling the truth.

She turned to him with a sober sadness in her eyes. "I love you Edward," she said, her voice shaking. "But it does affect my father. He worries what people think of me…and you. I don't know. There's still Rose, Honey and what about Irina? And… and the rest of the town! You know it's not right and we have to stop pretending that we're not going against any sort of normal morals."

"So what?" Edward replied with a sort of smirk adorning his face. "Since when did you follow normal, Isabella?"

"But things have changed…"

"Oh, spare me, Isabella! Are you really going to give up one thing that makes you happy just because of what other people think? Or is there something else holding you back? Because I think that if you loved me as much as you say you do, there wouldn't be anything holding you back. So please, darling, enlighten me."

"You really don't believe me, Edward?"

"Of course I do. But how can I be certain when you won't even try to make this work? You just keep putting it off, putting it off… and just telling me how wrong it is all the goddamn time! Do you not think I realize it too?"

"I know, I know," Bella said, wondering how to appear less defensive. She wanted to tell Edward everything, but she just couldn't. She couldn't tell anyone. However, she was finding it hard to hold back, as if everything was bubbling up inside of her and she was ready to detonate. "It's just my father, Edward… he's been through…"

"If you say one more thing about your father going through a lot I swear I am going to explode! What about you, eh? Haven't _you_ been through a lot? Are you honestly telling me now that you are going to risk ever being happy just so it won't hurt your father?"

Bella looked at him, trying to please him with her eyes as she couldn't think of anything to say instead. She was conflicted, confused and desperate.

Edward sighed, almost angrily. "Look, I'm not saying that the only way you're going to be happy is with me, Bella. But you've come this far moving away from being the girl who just stayed inside all the time and moving away from your home and the shadow of your father. You can't go back to that; I don't want to let you and I'm not going to. You know I love you, so if there is something I am missing here and you don't want to be with me, please just tell me before I go fucking crazy!"

Bella winced at his words, scared at his frustration. She wanted to hold him and tell him she was sorry, but everything was still building up inside of her, almost bubbling to the surface…

"It's just… I don't…"

"Oh for God's sake Isabella, do you want this or not? Because if you don't, then I am leaving for Seattle right now and then that's it, okay?"

"I do want this!" she cried, terrfied at the thought of losing him. "I just…"

Edward threw his head into his hands with despair. His hope, his cure, his solace… there was something that was preventing her from loving him. There was something inside of her telling her to hold back, which she was evidently trying so hard to do. He wanted to scream, he wanted to shout, but he feared he had done enough of that and was almost at the point of frightening her. Yes, she had changed a lot, but she was still extremely fragile. He didn't want to hurt her, but in actual fact, now she was hurting him – something he would have never thought possible.

A tear reluctantly slipped out of his eye.

Bella's heart broke into a thousand pieces. She wanted to tell Edward to stop crying, that she never meant to hurt him and that she wanted him in every way possible. She wanted to return all he had done for her, to nurture him in the way he had with her, and just to care. Her bubbling inside of her boiled to the brink, her anger, frustration and secrecy was about to spill out. She was going to tell him; she needed to tell him. If she was going to tell anyone at any point, she knew it would be him and it would have to be now.

"Edward, I…"

Suddenly, her phone rang. The sound made them both jump.

"If that's him, then that's it."

"Edward I have to, it could be an emergency," Bella begged, looking at the caller ID.

Edward sighed and got dressed silently whilst Bella looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. Fighting her sorrow and wrapping herself up in Edward's duvet as if trying not to let him go, she answered the phone call.

"Hi, Dad," she said, her voice trembling. "Are you okay?"

Edward listened closely to what was so important that was keeping them apart. He wanted to know the cause that prevented her from moving forward with him. He needed to know the reason for all of this – the reason why he was losing another love in his life. But most of all, he wanted to know why the person he thought loved him wasn't letting herself.

"No, no… well, okay, yes Dad, I am with Edward now," she said timidly, catching a retiring stare from Edward.

Edward sighed and put his sweater on. He walked out of the bedroom and then to the kitchen to clean the leftover food away. He tried to remain impassive, even though Bella was in the other room talking to her father just after they had made love. Bella's reaction afterwards was nothing like he expected and he was hurt. One minute he was admitting his love for her and she in return, but now everything was slipping away like a handful of sand through his fingers.

The one thing Edward had adored about their relationship was the fact that it was so private – so pure. Sure, there were outside threats to them but the fact that he had thought that none of them would matter was what had made it so special. It was the fact that despite all those obstacles and the taboo nature of the relationship, it had pulled through. So he had thought.

He cleaned the dishes away and left them to dry on the side. He couldn't be bothered to put them away – he was leaving for Seattle and he had all of his things there that he needed. If this was how it was going to be, then he would rather just forget everything he ever had here. Everything with Rose had happened in this house… but also everything that had happened with Bella. Bella had remedied the bad memories of the house – she was his succour – but now the pain would be even worse, knowing that he had failed to keep her even though he had fallen in love so deeply.

It was too quick, he told himself as he sat down in the kitchen to wait. Too soon after Rose, too soon after Bella getting better – just too soon, too soon_, too soon!_ He had fallen in love too quickly. They had known each other for just over a month and now it felt like his life depended on her. Whatever her decision, he would go with it. She didn't want to go to Seattle with him and she wanted to protect her father. It was that simple.

"Edward," Bella said in a stern voice. He hadn't even noticed her in the kitchen. He looked up at her, blurry eyed and weak. He didn't think he had it in him to cry again, but watching what he couldn't have standing there was almost too much.

He looked away from her.

"Edward!" she shouted as she walked right up to where Edward was sitting. The loudness startled him.

He looked at her, pained and perturbed. "What has he said now, Bella? Is he going to lock you up inside the house and throw away the key? Is he…"

Edward stopped as he looked properly at Bella's face. She looked absolutely terrified. Her face was completely tear-stained – but even more so than when he had been in the room with her. She had put her clothes on but she looked an absolute mess. Her eyes weren't meeting his. She was fidgeting, she was hunched, she was afraid and something was seriously wrong.

"Isabella?" Edward asked, leaning into her. "What is it? Tell me."

She looked at him, her eyes bloodshot and scared. "We have to leave, Edward."

"What do you mean? Leave where? What did your father say?"

Bella rushed over to him frantically, pulling him from the chair. "We don't have time, Edward! We have to go right_ now_. Please Edward – please trust me and get in the car!"

Edward laughed as if bemused. "What's the matter? If you're father is angry about you coming over here then I will talk to him, I promise but please just tell me…"

Bella pinched Edward's arms as hard as she could so that he would stop talking. She was trying so hard to keep calm but she couldn't appear rational. "Please, Edward. We need to go right now. It's not my dad, it's a lot worse. We need to get out of Forks right this minute or… or…"

"Or what?" Edward said, reaching over to the side for his car keys. He trusted her without even thinking about it.

"Or I could be in a lot of danger."

Edward did not hesitate before he picked Bella up in his arms, grabbed his car keys and ran out of the door. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing or where the fuck he was going, but if Bella was in danger he would do anything to protect her.

Bella clutched onto him as if her life depended on it, because now, in theory, it did.

Edward threw Bella into the front seat hastily and even strapped her in as if he saw her as helpless now, as If he was the only one who could save her.

He got into the car himself, turned on the ignition and slammed on the gas. And then they drove.

They drove for a while, despite Edward not knowing what was happening. In fact, he was kind of relieved that she wanted to go somewhere with him, but completely fretful for her safety. Thoughts ran wild in his head about what was going on, but he couldn't work it out. After about ten minutes of painful silence – besides the sounds of Bella's muffled sobs – Edward finally spoke.

"Isabella, are you going to tell me what's going on?"

Two minutes later, she finally answered. She knew she definitely had to tell him now; everything – the whole story. She spoke softly, as if just about loud enough for Edward to hear.

"My mom… she… she didn't just die. She didn't fall down the stairs. She was murdered."

Edward was silent for a minute, not knowing how to react. Everyone knew about the family's heartbreak over Renee Swan's death, but the town learnt of the death as a tragic accident of falling down the stairs and knew that Bella had witnessed it. Edward even knew one of the coroners who had confirmed it.

Before Edward knew it, Bella spoke again.

"I was there – when it happened. That part's true. And…the man…he ran… and he got away. My dad's been using private investigators to find the guy ever since. He didn't want anyone to know."

Edward was still silenced. He wanted to say something to Bella, but he couldn't deem anything appropriate. He indicated and pulled over to the nearest lay by and concentrated on Bella as she sat there crying in his car.

"Edward," she cried. "You have to keep going."

"Don't worry love, I'm here," he said, holding her hand. "What happened to the man? Why are we running away from Forks?"

Bella started properly sobbing again. "That's the thing, Edward. We have to go!"

"Of course," Edward replied, turning on the ignition again. "But why?"

He placed his hand on Bella's again. She grasped it back, tighter than ever.

"Because they've found him. He's in Forks, Edward."

"And they've arrested him?" Edward asked, even though he knew that wasn't the answer.

"He got away again," Bella stated, her eyes blank but tears still streaming out.

"Oh Isabella…" Edward squeezed her hand protectively.

"And now he…" she sobbed.

"What Isabella? Tell me," Edward demanded.

"He…" she began.

"Its okay, Isabella. You need to tell me."

"Edward... he wants me."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

And the drama keeps coming...

I promise the next update won't take me 2 months again. It'll be an early New Year's resolution... to write so much more! I do enjoy it, it's just hard to find the time sometimes. Reviewing always spurs me on though, so if you fancy it - let me know you're still reading and what you think!

If you want more teasers and stuff like that, I have a blog for my fanfiction (edieswan (dot) blogspot (dot) com) and there's a new Facebook page, too! (Just search for Edie Swan. I think I have about 10 fans hehe) and of course the old favourite, Twitter (edieswan) which I continue to update regularly (sometimes involving stepping on Claudia Schiffer's foot in Starbucks - yes, that did happen)

Until next time...


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